Loving Damon

| 39 | I love you

A/N: As promised you guys, Chapter 39 is finally up, enjoy it! 😃

| Ariel |

At the look of guilt and utter shock on Damons face, I couldn't help but squeeze my eyes shut in horror. I regretted my choice of words that were said in the heat of anger immediately. Despite how our time together was spent, that was a low blow and It shouldn't have felt so good to let it out. I did, it felt liberating to spit that in his face but the afterglow of it wasn't all that arousing. 

As soon as I heard Damons voice and rushed to my dads side at the front door, Damon stood there in a pair of dark wash skinny jeans, and a basic black fitted tee underneath his famous black leather jacket. A watch that was probably more expensive than my dads care adorned his wrist and his tattoos peaked out from the rolled up sleeves of his jacket. Muscles bulging and veins prominent. 'Wow.' my inner goddess breathed out enamored. 

I really wish the first thought that came to mind was, 'My prince charming is here; he came back to me.'  But that wasn't at all what I thought.

My first thought was 'Why is he here?'

My second thought? 'Damn, still so damn handsome.' Cue internally fanning myself as if Damon were a Rockstar and I was having a fangirl moment. Mother nature truly was cruel to make this man so damn sexy; did he ever have an off night?

After the initial shock of seeing him after so long wore off. My once fragile heart froze in my chest and I could almost feel myself wrapping chains around it and shutting it tight with a padlock.

I looked at him and I wanted to run into his arms, hug him tight and cry into his shoulder how much I missed him but I held my head high and forced myself not to. Remembering the past month and how he pushed me away even further, how easy it was for him to cast me aside and ignore the fact that I was hurting because I was actually feeling a loss of love.

The pain in my chest soon fired up and became white hot with anger. I have no idea what triggered it but I do know I was pushing down every single emotion of love and compassion I had for him...

And that is where that low blow came from.

My lids finally flew open, returning to the present, as I released a deep sigh. "I'm sorry Damon." I apologized softly, looking past his shoulders and out into the trees. "That was a low blow, my anger got the best of me, I – "

"No. You had every right." He cut me off immediately. Shocked, my eyes snapped back in his direction.

"I never gave you any inclination that there was more between us on my part, so I deserved that." He confessed, his body hunched forward, his elbows resting on his knees and his eyes never wavering off me.

I knew I was right, in the past month I came to realize just how much I gave and gave and gave to Damon and all I got back was his body, not his heart....

Well that may be a lie. He did give me some of himself, some of his soul but he never committed to giving me all of him. Allowing himself to love me and trusting me with his heart. 

The mix of emotions I had stewing inside of me was also causing me a great deal of stress, which was also causing me to get angry. Angry at Damon, at myself and this entire situation we found ourselves in, but I was determined to come out strong and not be that girl – You know the girl I'm talking about; the princess giving her heart to her prince charming, meanwhile, he doesn't care to give his to her in return or the fragile flower breaking with one blast of wind.

I must have been quiet and caught up in my thoughts for a while because he softly called out to me a few times, the last time finally brought me back to reality with him.