A New Chapter (BNHAxReader)

Chapter 51: Late night homecoming

Normal POV:

I laid there on the large boulder in the same field that I used to go to when I would train with Shinso. The back of my head began to hurt from resting it on the jagged surface of the boulder. I sat up and looked at my arms, which were now almost covered in dried blood. I put the razor blade up to my left arm and started deep, vertical cuts before doing the same to my right arm. After sitting there for a while, I blacked out and the last thing I remembered feeling was when my head hit the jagged surface of the rock.

When I opened my eyes, I was at the front doors of the house. I tried the doorknob and surprisingly it was unlocked, so I entered. I walked up to mine and Chi's bedroom quietly and entered. When I walked in, I saw that he was asleep on his computer chair with his back to his computer. I wanted to be held so badly by him that I went straight to him and sat on his lap like I usually did and rested my head on his shoulder. His eyes shot open and as soon as he realized that it was me, he threw his arms around me, hurting my arms that were still bleeding quite a lot.

"You had me worried sick!" he exclaimed as he glanced over my shoulder quickly to something at the other side of the room.

I felt guilty for leaving without saying anything. "I'm sorry." I croaked out in a soft whisper.

"It's alright, it doesn't matter." he said as he shook his head then kissed me before holding me again, "I love you."

I clenched to the back of his shirt since he was leaning forward a little, and I repeated, "I'm sorry." as my voice broke.

He pushed me back a little and tucked my disgusting hair behind an ear as he said, "It's all going to be okay. I'm here and I'm going to fix it." Some tears started to fall ever so slowly from my cheeks. He wiped them away as he said, "It's going to be A-okay. You can let it all out." I then shoved my face into his shoulder, burying it, hiding it so he wasn't able to see how weak I was. He put his hand on the back of my head and stroked it with his thumb. I found it comforting, yet I wasn't able to stop crying since the sobs kept on coming. Through my sobs I was able to hear him say, "Hey, what if you give me your feelings. I want to carry them for you, saving you from yourself."

I sat back and looked him dead in the eyes with an expression asking him if he was out of his mind. "No." I said sternly. "I don't want you to ever feel the way that I do. I don't wish it upon anyone, ever."

He pressed his left hand into my lower back, pulling me closer to him while he put his right hand on my cheek, holding my head. "Please, if anything just do it for a few minutes." he pleaded.

I for some reason eventually gave in and said, "Fine, but for only a minute." Then closed my eyes, transmitting my feelings to him.

As soon as I did, I stopped crying and my body felt lighter. I noticed that Chi had now started crying and his usual upbeat expression more resembled the one that I usually tend to wear. We stared into each other's eyes as the yearn for death went away. The urges to self harm went away too. I felt like I was a new person, especially since I sensed that I didn't have the voice anymore in my head. After quickly assessing the feelings that I haven't felt before, I quickly realized that Chi was now in agony with the emotions that I passed to him. I placed both of my hands on the side of his face and put my forehead on his, taking my emotions back. We opened our eyes at the same time as I dropped my bleeding arms to my sides, which I then realized that my eyes were watering again.

"I'm sorry." I whispered as I started to feel light headed.

He shook his head as he tried to pull me close to his chest again as he said, "What is there to be sorry for?" I lifted my arms up a little, showing him that they were horribly cut. He quickly took a hold of my arms and said frantically, "I'll quickly get you to the hospital, alright? Hold on, I'll carry you."