we got home and mattia handed me my old phone, "i unblocked all your old friends" mattia says, "nice" i say. i don't know who my old friends are but i'm assuming it's journey and all them, we all chilled in the lounge even though i was exhausted i missed the boys company.
the next day jake had message and he was pissed off that he had to find out through journey i'm not being friends with them no more. i threw my phone at the end of the bed annoyed as hell with jake, "what's wrong" mattia says with his towel hanging ridiculously low on his v line, "jakes being a pain in the ass" i roll my eyes, "you want me to do sumn about it" mattia says, "nah, he's literally bitching for no reason. just because i have a life and he doesn't" i roll my eyes, "he likes you" mattia shrugs, "ew" i say, just then dave and all them started blowing up my phone asking me what's happening. "why did you unblock them now i got to listen to this shit all my life" iroll my eyes.s "go chill with them, since they being mad sooks about it" mattia says calmly with no jealous tone or facial expressions. sus if you ask me. "nah i'm good" i say and he shrugs, "alright" he kissed me and changed.
we were cuddling in bed just watching tiktoks, then my phone died and none of us wanted to move to charge it. "so how much people did you kill when i left" i laughed, "none" he says and i frown, "oh so you don't care about me that much anymore" i say, he laughs "it's because i cared about you i didn't, i handled my shit when you left" he laughs, "what you mean" i say, "i want to change" he says, "how so" i frown, "i don't want to be the toxic boyfriend who kills people just because his girlfriend didn't reply to a message, i want to do right by you for you" he says, i giggle a bit "not you being all soft" i say, "you'll see" he rolls his eyes playfully. well i hope he does but i know he still lowkey gonna be toxic, like come on it's mattia. "there's gonna be a bunch of meetings today, i been looking for your ass i missed heaps of them" mattia says and i roll my eyes, "man you ain't have to look for me" i say, "yes i did, you probably wouldn't have came home" he rolls his eyes, "true" i say.
everyone kept coming and going while i chilled in the room, to be honest i couldn't be bothered doing shit today but i was hungry. i didn't wanna go downstairs because i hadn't changed out of my pjs yet and he had visitors over. "kairi" i shout and he comes running in, "can you make me some food" i say, "man what the fuck, i though you were dying" he says, "but no make your own food" he says and leaves, "motherfucker" i shout and i hear him laugh.
i quickly ran down stairs hoping no one seen me and grabbed some food, "hey" i hear from behind me, i turnt slowly with food piled in my arms, "yes" i smile. a girl stood there, she was definitely a heather, "who are you" she asks, "no one important" i say, "oh okay" she says. it was awkward, she just stared at me trying to figure me out, "so imma go to my room" i say but she stops me, "so you live here" she asks and i nod, "are you the maid" she says. i don't know why everyone assumes i'm the maid. i shake my head, i saw mattia comeout the room as the girl held my shoulder, "why don't you tidy yourself up, i mean this is the dons place and i'm sure he'd hate to see you walking around like that" she says and points to my pjs, mattias face grew mad and the girl still hadn't realised he was behind her, "apologise to her right now" mattia says making the girls eyes widen, "why who is she" she says, "my girlfriend now apologise or i swear to god i'll let her put a bullet right through that thick skull of yours" mattia spat, "i'm sorry i didn't know" she says and spits out a whole apology. "it's ok" i shrug, mattia grabbed her arm and dragged her into the meeting room, "now stay dumb bitch" he says and walks back over to me. "don't listen to her your perfect just the way you are" he smiles, "i know" i .smile making him laugh, he kissed me and squashed my food against his chest, "man" i mumble into the kiss, "sorry" he says as he pulled away. "lemme get this meeting shit over and done with and we'll go out to eat"he says and i jump up and down and go upstairs.
i locked the bathroom door and striped naked, i looked at myself in the mirror i looked different. like i was gaining all the weight i had lost back, my breast looked a little bigger and i had stretch marks. "great" i roll my eyes. i feel even more insecure and i hate that feeling, i showered and sobbed a little as i caught a glimpse of myself.
i changed into some of his clothes because they were loose on me, "you ready" mattia says as he enters the room, i nod and he frowns, "why you wearing my clothes" he laughs, "why not" i frown, he rolls his eyes and takes my hand.
we ate at some random restaurant, their food was good and mattia was getting a little touchy at the table i brushed him off not wanting to expose my ugly self to him, because like what if he don't want me no more.
a/n: insecure y/n insecure y/n insecure y/n
