i settled sav in bed and she drifted off to sleep, i sat on the couch next to her bed and watched her sleep, "i'm sorry you had to see that" i whisper to her sleeping self. her cheeks were still stained with dry tears and that only made me wanna breakdown all over again, my poor baby.
my phone was blowing up from the boys, i answered one of their calls knowing they were together "what" i roll my eyes, "we are dead, mattia knows you have a kid" alvaro says, "yeah he just said he saw y'all" roshaun says, "i'm sorry we didn't know he was in LA" kairi says and i just shake my head "i don't care, as long as he stays away from us i couldn't care less" i say, "yeah about that, hes outside your house" ale says making my eyes widened. i look outside and sure enough there he sat on his bonnet with a smoke in his hand, "fuck, i'll ring y'all back" i roll my eyes and trudge downstairs.
"mattia fuck off, i don't want you here", he only rolls his eyes "you didn't answer my question, how old is she" he says, "if i answer that will you kindly fuck off", he shrugs. "she's two" i say, he sat there for a bit like he was doing some maths "is she mine" he asks, "you said you'll leave so go right ahead". i storm back inside before he could stop me, i slid down the door and let the tears stroll down my face. he was never supposed to find out and his presence makes me feel weak again, i missed him so much but i can't do that to sav.
soft knocks came from behind me, "tell me she's not mine and i'll leave" he says, how can i do that to him how could i lie to him. "s-she's not" i lie, a loud bang came from outside, i know this motherfucker didn't just punch my house. "fucking hell y/n, why are you doing this to me" he bangs on the door shaking the whole house beneath me, sav walks down the stairs a little frightened "mommy what's happened" she says. "wait up there baby" i say.
i open the door just as he was about to bang the door again, "great you just woke her up" i say, "i'm sorry okay, just let me in so we can talk. i've missed you y/n and you don't know how hard it is" he lets out, "hm that's not what i've heard, the hundreds of girls in and out of your place says otherwise" i say and he only throws his head back "fucking listen to me" he yells in frustration i flinched forgetting about his temper. no male in 2years has ever raised their voice at me, not even matteo. i look back to see Sav still standing on the step, her grip on her teddy bear tightened and for the second time today tears flowed down her pink cheeks.
she runs to me and hugs my leg and looks up at mattia then back at me, "mommy i want matteo" she says and my heart raced, fuck i know she didn't just mention him. "who's matteo" mattia says and goes down to her level, he attempts to wipe her tears but she shuts away, "mommy says i'm not allowed to talk to you" she says and holds my leg tighter. she hid behind me leg. he glares at me and stands again, "she's definitely my kid" , i roll my eyes and let him in, because i'm scared, i'm scared he'll take it upon himself to take her away from me and will never let me see her. i put Sav on my hip and walked to the kitchen, we sat at the island and "talked".
"is she or not" he says, "yes she is" i roll my eyes, Sav played with my hair as mattia and i lowkey argued but hid it as a conversation. "i want to be apart of her life" he finally says, "not gonna happen, we are doing fine without you and plus i don't want her around all that" i say, "i will change, and i can help take care of her", "mattia you won't change your always saying that, and trust me i don't think she likes you much" i laugh, we both look to her and she hid behind me sitting on the island, she noticed the attention and tried to hide under my hair. i only roll my eyes playfully. "yeah and i wonder why that is" he glares at me, "that's your fault" i say. "mommy i want matteo" sav complains again, "Sav he isn't coming till next week remember" i say and put her on my hip, "oh yeah, mommy i'm tired" she lets out a yawn. i walk her upstairs and put her in bed, i waited till she fell asleep and went back down stairs.
"ok if your done with the question you can leave" i say to mattia who was just on his phone, he looked up at me "it all makes sense now" and i only frown in confusion, "why you pushed me away and why you never came home. and why kairi was so adamant in keeping your location a secret" mattia says, "nice one sherlock" i laugh, "i'm really sorry y/n i truly am, i want to be here for the two of you and yes i know she ain't like me much but if you let me she can maybe change her mind", "no mattia no no no no" i start pacing around the room getting little stressed, "remember mattia you kicked me out, the day i was gonna tell you i was pregnant you lost it because i wouldn't have sex with you. and in your twisted little way i was the bad guy, i was apparently cheating and that hurt me mattia YOU hurt me" i point and he only looks to the ground, i scoff and point to the door "leave for the hundredth fucking time" i wanted to cry but not infront of him he doesn't deserve that at all. "i'm sorry" was the last thing he said before leaving. as you should be.
a/n: might bring this book to an end. bc i stay dragging this story
