The Lost Touch

Chapter 32 - Lung Cancer

"You don't know!" he shouted back.

"I do," I replied, going nearer to him.

I took only that much and the tears started pouring out of his eyes like a river. He put his head on my extended shoulder. The feeling was different. Not like the other times he touched me. It sent different kinds of sparks inside me. Way stronger than the ones Cole gave me.

"You can tell me anything," I said, remembering the time we were sitting around the fire when he said that to me.

"I know. Just let me vent it out for some time," he said, looking at the photograph he was holding, which I had not seen before. It was a photo of him and Lorelie. Lorelie was in his lap and he had his hands wrapped around her, as if to protect her from someone.

"Lorelie has cancer. She was diagnosed with lung cancer when she was young. I remember that day perfectly. The day before that she had gone through some reports and shit because she continuously had breathing problems that month. That day we all were sitting in the living room. Then the doctor called my dad and said that she had lung cancer. It was so heartbreaking. My little sister was going to die soon and she wanted to do so much with her life. Marry and travel around the whole world. She looked heartbroken too. We all were but we hid it for her. So that she wouldn't break. We have been hiding it for a long time. She used to have chemo every now and then and the doctor said that her health was way better. But last year or so everything started again. Doctor said that she had only a few months left but she lived more than a year and we were grateful for that. A couple of days ago, on Monday, in the morning, we found her lying on the floor. She only has a few hours left now. Remember that day when you came over? She really liked you. She never goes up to a person like that and especially not someone who fights with me. After I dropped you off, she told me to never make you unhappy, because if I did she promised to kill me. We laughed that day, a lot..."

"I love her so much. I don't want her to leave me. Her jokes, those puppy eyes and that kind heart. If I could trade my life for hers, I would. She doesn't deserve this, but sometimes I think it is better. She won't have to live in this hell of a world. She'll be free of miseries and resting in heaven which is at least a little better than our world. I'll miss her. So much," he broke down completely after that.
Tears had rolled down my eyes too. I hadn't spent much time with her but I knew the first time I met her, that she was an innocent girl who had a beautiful heart.

"Shhh... We'll get through this together," I said, rubbing his hand.

"Easy for you to say! She isn't your sister!" he fired back.

"You are right! She isn't my sister but she was surely like one."

He just cried on my shoulder for a long time. I kept rubbing his hand to make him stop but he didn't. It made me even more miserable. After a while, he looked at my face.

"Promise you won't tell anyone. I don't want people to pity me. It is personal and I don't want to make it public," he said, finally regaining his posture.

"Promise."

We were so close. I hadn't realised that because of our conversation but heat was sparking between us. Something inside me wanted to close the gap and lean in but the other side reminded me of Cole. I don't want to cheat on him.

Ryder's eyes briefly lingered on my lips before he slowly started closing the distance. I leaned in too, hypnotized by his pink, puffy lips which were wet at the end due to the tears. I wanted it so bad but I couldn't do it. Just when our lips were a few cm apart, I pulled away.

"I can't!" but I want to.

"Uh, okay," he replied sadly. I saw guilt wash over his face.