The Wedding That Never Was

Rings 37 - I've been waiting for you

Rings 37 – I've been waiting for you

It felt redundant to admit it but Jennifer was really a certified coward.

She never asked her Ate Casandra about the expression she saw when she admitted her feelings for Sir Angelo. She never asked why she looked scared. What was so scary with loving Sir Angelo that made her sister asked her to stay in London and work for Kuya James?

She stayed for a week and every breakfast and dinner, her sister would ask her to stay. That if she didn't like working for Kuya James, she'd buy Jenny her own company and she can start. But it was in London. She asked her to leave her life in Manila and just stay. And Jennifer was a coward for not asking why. She should have, she knew that but she really was just not ready for the answers.

Why was Ate Cassandra so intent for her to leave Manila and stay in London? Sir Angelo was not a bad man. He was such a great guy and she didn't know why both Ate Cassandra and Kuya James were so against it.

Was it because he was a widower? That he had a child? Or because he was too old for her? That shouldn't be any issue. But they were against it and asked her to stay. They didn't force their will on her but she knew they wanted to. She knew they wanted her to heed their advice and stay.

She didn't stay. She couldn't, her life was in Manila, she didn't know how to act with the aristocrats. She wasn't one of them and she'd feel so left out if she stayed. She was the poor relation of the Carmichael family; she didn't have the lineage that those stuffy people have. She was just Jenny, no matter who her sister married into.

One week later, she flew back to Manila, this was when the doctors cleared Isobel and Jenny was able to confirm that her niece would be okay. She left without the answers to her questions because she was scared of the answers. Her sister wanted her to stay longer, maybe to convince her even more about staying permanent in London.

She smiled to her sister then and said, "I'm not made for this life, ate." She looked around the vast estate of the Rosslyn Hall, "If I stay, I'll lose myself in this life and this is not me."

Her sister placed her hand on her right cheek, "You wouldn't know until you try it."

Jenny shook her head, "I have and you know it, I just don't belong here." That was the truth of it, "I belong in Manila, and I know that if I stay here, I'd end up marrying someone who belongs in your circle, and ate, I don't really want to be a lady like you. I just want me."

"You don't have to marry someone you don't like. You can marry whomever you choose. Just stay here and maybe you'd find the right man for you."

Once again, she shook her head and smile sadly at her sister, "I am a coward but I don't want to run away from my feelings. I love him, ate and no matter how many oceans apart, he's the one I love and that will not change. Stay or not, he's still here." Pointing at her heart.

"He's not for you, Jenny."

Oh, she knew but she wasn't going to run away just because he wasn't. She was going to stay in Manila and enjoy the few moments that she had with him, until he finds marries again. Right now, she was content with what she had.

Maybe someday, she'd be able to forget him but she wouldn't really be able to forget him if she stayed in London. That was a band-aid solution and she'd always thought of him if she stayed. At least in Manila, she'd be able to see him, be with him, smile and laugh with him.

Once she landed in Manila, she went straight home.

Pagkadating niya sa condo ay dinala niya ang kanyang suitcase sa loob ng kanyang kwarto. Kumuha ng bagong damit sa closet at nagtungo na sa banyo upang maligo. Pagkatapos niyang maligo ay lumabas siya ng kanyang kwarto at umupo sa stool sa harap ng kitchen counter kung nasaan ang kanyang mails.