I didn't mean to break you (clexa au)

t w e n t y s i x

Octavia and Raven were sitting on the couch wondering where Clarke was and when she'd be home. It was one in the morning and the last time anyone had seen her was before her sports class. "Lincoln's on his way over and is going to search the streets on the way," Octavia said as she bounced her knees up and down nervously. Raven nodded quickly as she fiddled with her thumbs. Clarke hadn't left her room accept to go to school in over a month and this disappearance had her friends very uneasy.

Ten minutes later there was a knock on the door, both girls sprung up, knowing it was probably Lincoln but wishing it was Clarke. Octavia swung open the door and jumped into Lincoln's arms holding him tight. When she pulled back she realised he wasn't alone. "What the hell are you doing here?" Raven spat as Lincoln and Lexa stepped into the dorm. Lexa looked just as worried if not more so than the rest of them. You could tell by her puffy eyes that she had been crying, but now she held her emotionless expression, attempting to hide her feelings that were waging out of control.

"Can we be civil, please? For Clarke's sake, we need to find her. Any ideas of where she might go?" Octavia chimed in walking further into the dorm, everyone else following her. "I might know where she is." Lexa whispered, her face wavering slightly as she thought to the place Clarke had taken her on a date a few months back, the place she told her she went to think. "Okay, go we'll stay here in case she comes back," Octavia said giving Lexa a sad smile.

"She won't want me there, she hates me," Lexa murmured looking down at her shoes, embarrassed to look at anyone else. "Look Lexa, you've both made stupid mistakes, you've both hurt each other. And Clarke has lost everything, and she's nearly lost the will to live. She needs you Lexa, she doesn't hate you, she could never, she loves you, even if you don't feel the same-" Raven was cut off by Lexa, "I do. I love her so much, why is god so against us being happy. All she deserves is happiness." Lexa's voice cracked as a few stray tears escaped her eyes. "God may be against you but you have to fight for each other Lexa. Clarke is so close to giving up, go and find her, make this right." Octavia replied, placing a comforting hand on Lexa's thigh making the brunette look up at her. She nodded and stood up, "If she comes back, text me. I need to make things right." Lexa said before jogging out of the dorm door and down to her car.

Clarke sat alone writing her problems in the sand then wiping them away again. She had done this since she was a child, the thought of being able to just wipe your mind clear, wipe you problems away without as much as a second thought made her smile. But she knew that life wasn't that easy, no matter how much she wished it was. As the sun began to set the blonde shuffled backwards until her back was against the cave wall as she looked onto the waves that reflected the dimming sunlight. Closing her eyes memories of the times she brought Lexa here on a date flooded back into her mind.

*flashback*

"Where are we going baby?" Lexa asked softly as Clarke led her towards the cave on the beach, her hands covering the brunettes eyes. "Just a little further and you'll see." Clarke whispered into Lexa's ear as they continued to walk. A few minutes later they were inside the cave and Clarke took her hands off Lexa's eyes. The brunettes eyes widened as she took in her surroundings. The cave was lit with many red candles that stood on the rocks. There were also fairy lights strung up on the caves top.

A double mattress lay in the middle of the cave, stacked with pillows and blankets, and vases of Lexa's favourite flowers were dotted around. A pizza box and bottle of wine lay on the foot of the inviting bed. Clarke giggled as she watched her beautiful girlfriend look round in awe. "Come her Lex," she grinned taking the brunettes hand, dragging her onto the bed. She pulled Lexa on top of her as she fell onto the comfortable mattress, smiling up at the beautiful girl in front of her. "The sunsets in about half an hour and this is the perfect view," Clarke mumbled looking down at Lexa's lips. Lexa smirked as she noticed the girl looking at her lips. "I already have the most beautiful view," she replied looking hungrily at Clarke. Clarke's smirk widened as she leant up to place a kiss on Lexa's soft lips. Pulling away, both girls had massive grins upon their faces. "I love you," Lexa muttered, her forehead leant against Clarke's, their noses brushing lightly, "I love you too."

That night the two girls snuggled on the mattress, eating pizza, drinking wine and watching the sunset, happily dwelling in each other's warmth. They ran into the waves, Clarke jumping onto Lexa, wrapping her legs around the brunettes waist as the water got too cold. Anyone and everyone could see the two were madly in love as they tickled each other, made sand castles, stole kisses and slow danced under the moon and stars that night.

*end flashback*

As soon as Lexa parked as close to the beach as she could, she jumped out the car and began to jog towards the cave. If Clarke wasn't there she didn't know what she'd do. As she ran closer and closer to the cave the scene kept playing out in her head. She imagined it perfectly, but she knew it wouldn't go that way. Running in a suit probably wasn't the best idea, but she needed to talk to the girl she loved. And she needed to talk to her now.

At last the cave was in sight and lexa slowed down to a fast walk. Her hands shaking as she approached the entrance to the cave. She peered into the dark hole, it was much different from last time, no candles, no mattress, no blankets or pillows. The only light in the cave was the reflection of the moon from the ocean just outside. "Clarke?" The brunette asked in a shaky whisper as she ventured more into the cave.

As she walked in she spotted the blonde girl, back against the cave wall, eyes closed. The girl was shivering in her sleep due to the cold breeze brushing from the sea. Lexa walked towards the girl quietly, wondering whether or not to wake her. The brunette decided against it as she slipped her suit jacket off and lay it gently over the shivering blonde. After a few minutes of admiring the peace on Clarke's face she slipped down the cave wall next to the girl leaning her head back with a soft sigh.