„You and me, I promise"--JJ Maybank (IMAGINES)

"I'm broken inside" Pt.5

The next day....

You have decided to go to Jj. You want to ask him why he broke up with you. This whole thing with Jadon on the beach and how Jj fought for you has got you thinking. Of course you're still mad as hell at him. And you're still hurt as hell. But you finally want to know. And if he won't tell you himself, then you'll just have to find out for yourself.

"Hey" you say as you walk up to Jj who is lying in the hammock.

"So what are you doing here?" says Jj and stands up.

"I wanted to ask you something" you say

"So what is it?" he asks

"Why did you break up with me?" you ask

"Oh god are you serious? You have Jadon why do you care?!" he says

"Because you never told me. I have Jadon that's right. But I just want to know okay?!" you say upset

"Yeah um... I just had a feeling. Didn't fit anymore" Jj replies and looks down.

"Sure. You mean to tell me that all of a sudden nothing fit anymore after you were away with your father for a fortnight?" you say

"Yes exactly Y/N" says Jj

"Ok then... thanks Jj I'll be going then" you say and turn around in the

"No.. Y/N wait" says Jj

"Of course it wasn't because of that. I was away with my dad. He just yelled at me and hit me the whole two weeks. For a fortnight. I realised something. I'm not good enough for you. You got plans. Hell, your future is ahead of you and you can become something fantastic all over again. And me? I got no future. I'm always getting into trouble. I always do everything wrong. Someday I'm gonna take you down with me," Jj says.

"What the... Jj what the hell?! That's no reason to break up with me. It's not. Everything you say about yourself. And besides, I'm not gonna let it happen like this." you say

"God Y/N. It's over. You got Jadon. I don't have anyone. My life is so fucked up. My dad beats me up every day. I'm scared shitless he'll do the same to you. I'm not good for you. Not in any way. So please just accept that" says Jj.

"I can't just accept that Jj. Because it's not true" you reply in a broken voice.

Jj can't bear to see you like this. He is breaking inside. And now Jj would say one of the biggest lies he has ever said.

"Okay you know what? It hasn't been the only reason. Fuck Y/N I never wanted to tell you but in the two weeks without you I realised it. You suck, okay? I didn't have any time to myself. And I realised I didn't love you like I did before," says Jj.

"You're just saying that" you say and tears fill your eyes. In that moment you have thought not one time about Jadon or anyone else.

You can see how hurt Jj is. He hates seeing you like this. He hates himself for saying this now. Lying to you.

"No, I don't. Okay?! You fucked me up. You wouldn't leave me alone and you were so clingy. Besides, I knew you'd never be a part of us. Or me. Us Pogues. Okay?! That was the reason! And my mind hasn't changed!" said Jj.

Every word of what he said was a lie. Every fucking word. He tries everything to hold back his tears but can't.

"Y/N..." he says

"No it's okay. You made it clear." you say and leave crying.

Jj sits down on the floor and runs his hands through his hair.