The Unbelievable Life of Lynn Carmina

Chapter 20: Not Able to Handle it

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Recap Chap 19:

“I’ll pick you up on Wednesday at 11 am, while the kids are at school.” Julien announced then turned away from me, breathing a heavy sigh in the process.

I don’t know how I managed, but I nodded in agreement and slowly got out of the car. I stood on the curb and watched him pull away, feeling like he dragged my heart behind him.

Why did he do this to me now? And more than that, why did I want him to do it again?

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Chapter 20: Not Able to Handle it

It all started just over 4 months ago when Hanna went into labor 3 months early. It was May 14th at one in the morning when a teary eyed Hanna called me. I was surprised to hear from her so early in the morning, especially since I had just talked to her a few hours before and everything was fine.

“Lynn, I had the girls.” She said and I thought I heard wrong. This must be a joke and it isn’t very funny.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I nearly yelled, but lowered my voice when I realized that my kids were sleeping just rooms away.

“It’s true. I went into labor and they couldn’t stop it.” She sounded sad and defeated. What happened to the girls? Where they alright, did they make it?

“Are the girls okay?” I inquired, sitting up in bed and trying to get a handle on my anxiety.

“They’re okay, but they’ve been transferred to the NICU at the children’s hospital.” She responded through tears and I heard a shuffling of the phone. What was going on now?

“Hey Lynn, its Julien. Can you come to the hospital, she’s been asking for you.” The other Julien, Hanna’s husband, asked and it wasn’t like I could have refused. Hanna was my friend and she needed me.

“Give me half an hour.” I responded and wiped the sleep out of my eyes. I quickly dressed and headed for the hospital, leaving a sleeping Mark and children behind. It was the least I could do for my friends.

The babies were born on May 13th and 14th. Yeah, I know, weird that twins are born on different days. The first born was Sally and Nina was second. Sally was 1 pound 9 ounces and Nina was 2 pounds 3 ounces. They were so small and fragile when I first saw them in the NICU, that I didn’t believe they were real.

They were twice as big as Ethan when he was born, or died, whichever is preferred and were born only 1 and 2 days before that dreaded day. I was already in a funk from it being so close to May 15th, so this added to my depression immensely. I didn’t want to think about him now, but I just couldn’t help it.

The second my eyes fell on the beautiful and fragile girls, I wanted to cry. They were hooked up to tubes and lines galore. It was more of a gruesome scene than anything else. They were so tiny that their temperature was unstable and they weren’t able to be held for a few weeks. Sally was mostly alright, except for her weight, but Nina had a multitude of problems.

She had a hole in her heart which required surgery, not to mention that her intestines were twisted and malformed, which required another surgery. She also had a hole in the ventricles of her brain and hearing loss. It was later discovered that she had a very rare genetic disorder that had no definitive symptoms or outcomes. She would have developmental delays, or so the doctors said, and possibly more problems that were undetermined thus far, but no one knew for sure. I called her the mystery baby.