The Unbelievable Life of Lynn Carmina

Chapter 25: Sometimes Friends are Very Unfriendly

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Chapter 25: Sometimes Friends are Very Unfriendly

I wandered my house like a zombie for the rest of the day, fighting with Mark and becoming easily annoyed with the kids. It wasn’t their fault that I was a hopeless mess and I was truly regretful that I took my foul mood out on my innocent children whom I loved so much. I did this for them. This choice was the hardest one I had ever made and I’d done it with only them in mind. I would endure an endless life of agony and longing in order to preserve my family. As much as it pained me, I had to believe I had made the right choice.

After dropping the kids at school, I numbly drove to Baker’s Run Park. I had a few hours to kill before I met with Pierce at the Starbucks in town, so I decided to wallow in self pity and spend some time alone, in the last place where I felt truly close to Julien. I roamed the park in the soft morning sunlight and found the spot where we had our impromptu picnic. I curled up on the ground and held myself together as tears slowly started to trail down my cheeks.

I don’t know how long I lay there, but I certainly lost track of time because I heard the sounds of laughing children and scolding parents and knew that it must be close to lunchtime. I pulled out my phone to check the time and noticed a few missed texts.

* why haven’t you called me? what happened with julien? * Shelly sent at 9 am this morning. I replied hastily, just to prevent her from hounding me with endless texts. She may have been a teacher and it may have been school hours, but that was not going to stop her from texting until I answered her.

* I broke it off with jules. He says he loves me and wants to be with me, but I can’t do it. I feel like shit. * I sent to Shelly, and then read the next text without checking who it was from. I instantly regretted it.

* I love you. * Was all it said and it broke my heart to read it. It was from Julien of course. Why was he doing this to me, hadn’t I made myself clear? Another text came immediately and I knew exactly who it was from.

* I’m sorry, but it’s probably for the best. call me later. * Shelly wrote and I replied to her text quickly, letting her know that I would talk to her after school got out.

Checking the time, I noticed that it was almost time for my meeting with Pierce. I begrudgingly made my way to my car and drove slowly to Starbucks. I knew what Pierce was going to say. He was going to tell me I did the right thing and to forget about Julien. Only I didn’t feel like I did the right thing, I felt like I was dying. And I knew I could never forget about Julien. If I hadn’t forgotten about him in the last 16 years, then I doubt that I could forget him after all that had recently happened between us.

When I walked through the door, I was taken aback and pleasantly surprised to see not only Pierce, but Angie and Parker as well. I had missed them so much and I didn’t realize just how much not seeing them had affected me. I ran to them and hugged them both fiercely. They were my friends and I needed them more than ever. After paying for my fancy latté, I settled into the corner booth with my three best college friends.

I had to tell a very long story and an even longer explanation as to why I never told them about what really happened between myself and just Julien. I wasn’t going to lie to them anymore, and as much as I hated the idea of other people besides Shelly knowing about everything, including the baby, I needed my friends’ words of wisdom and advisement. After a good twenty minutes of storytelling and the faintest trace of tears that streaked my face, I looked to my friends for their reactions to my confession.

“Wow Lynn. I did not expect that, it sort of changes things.” Parker was the first to speak. I could tell by his tone that he was struggling for some appropriate response.  I didn’t want their pity I wanted their support, their cheering up and their encouragement that I had made the right decision in leaving all things Julien behind me.