The Unbelievable Life of Lynn Carmina

Chapter 17: Sweet Sara Sunshine

Enjoy :)

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Chapter 17: Sweet Sara Sunshine

I paced my house hopelessly. What the hell was I going to do? I was meeting him in a half an hour, and that was nowhere near enough time. How could I have promised Julien that I would answer his questions? I couldn’t do that, I just couldn’t. There was no way I could have explained to him that I killed our child, however unintentional. I was to blame, but he was partly to blame as well.

He may have hurt me so badly that I would never recover, and he may have been an asshole, but he didn’t deserve to carry this heart break, it was just too much. I couldn’t deal with it myself. It made me fucking crazy! How would he respond to it? Was he mad at me for not telling him? Did he hate me for losing the baby or getting pregnant in the first place? This could ruin everything.

We have a fucked up relationship already, if you can even call it that. We have so much in our past, so much that has happened between us. Yeah, I hated him for 15, almost 16 years. It wasn’t undeserved because he did cheat on me, but I may have been unnecessarily harsh, especially after what I did. I can’t imagine that he will be okay with this. I can’t even get a grip on myself long enough to calm down and walk to my car.

This is going to be ridiculously difficult. Why did I open my big fat mouth? Oh, I know why, because I love to fight and have the last word and he loves to push my buttons and get me to admit shit I don’t want to admit. That fucking bastard! This is all his fault. My life could be perfect right now if it wasn’t for him. If I had never met him, if he had never gotten me pregnant and never cheated on me, this unbelievable life of mine would not be so messed up.

Damn you just Julien! Damn your arrogant, cheating, sexy ass to hell.

If we had never gotten back together, then I wouldn’t be suffering this hell right now. Damn you Sara and you’re bright ideas! Why do you have to be so great at hooking people up and spreading sunshine around like it shows out your ass? That’s why I called her Sweet Sara Sunshine.

I got into Sara’s car, slamming the door after a fight with my mom. It was just a few months after my mother decided it would be the best idea in the world to kick my dad out and move in the new Mr. Right Now. I lit up a smoke after we drove a safe enough distance away and enjoyed the calm that overtook me. Okay, so I was one of those people who wouldn’t smoke in front of my parents, even though they knew about it and even though I was 18. Yeah, I know, way to throw that independence around by hiding smoking from your mom. You really showed her this time Lynn.

“Where are we going Sara?” I asked with amusement because she had the widest grin plastered all over her face.

The thing about Sara was, once she got an idea in her head, there was no escaping it. She was relentless. This is why I loved her. Well, that and the fact that she was sweet, honest and loyal, not to mention beautiful. She was one of those girls who was gorgeous without even trying. Her long dark brown hair was always perfect, and her blue eyes stood out against her fair Irish skin with freckles all over it, just like mine.

“We have to stop at my new job for a few minutes, and then we’re going out to eat.” She replied with the faintest hint of deception. What the hell was she hiding? She really was no good at lying.

“Sara, what are you up to?” I asked skeptically. There had to be more to this little visit to her workplace that she wasn’t telling me.

She worked at a new store that was near the mall where I worked. I had never been in there before, so I was excited to see what it was like inside. It didn’t really matter what she had in mind, because I was in the mood for shopping since the fight with my mom earlier.