The Unbelievable Life of Lynn Carmina

Chapter 40: The End or The Beginning: Part 2

This is the final chapter of The Unbelievable Life of Lynn Carmina, try not cry as I did when this ended. It's perhaps the story closest to my heart. There WILL be an epilogue. Thanks to the 10 people who actually read this story, I appreciate all the support! I wish more of my fans would give this story a chance.

I still have 2 parts to Julien's story as well so it's not completely over yet.

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Chapter 40: The End or The Beginning: Part 2

I sat silently, staring forward as my kids snuggled into my side and tears rolled down my face. I had Mariah and Bradley on either side of me and Lury was in my lap snuggled up to me, crying a bit herself. Just because they didn't fully understand the situation, doesn't mean that they weren't affected by their father’s body lying in a casket. He looked pale, but otherwise like himself except for the peaceful look on his face, which was abnormal for him.

So there we sat, listening to the minister's words of peace and hope of the afterlife. I didn't feel like there was any hope for anything at all. It had been days since Mark's death and things had gotten incredibly difficult. It didn't take but a few days for the children to finally realize that when I said their father had died, that it meant he was never coming home. As soon as they realized this, the mopping, crying and nightmares started. I doubt this would be a nightmare free night after witnessing the funeral of their dad and seeing him laying peacefully in a casket which would be lowered into the ground.

I had support at the funeral though, which I was eternally grateful for. Nessy and Shelly came, which seemed strange, but was actually a relief because they became fast friends which made it easier for me since they were both very important to me. Of course Mark's parents were in attendance, and seemingly quite apologetic for their son's behavior toward me and Julien. My mom Vivian and step dad Stan also showed up to lend me help with the children. It was no secret that Mark wasn't my favorite person, but I lived with him for sixteen years and he was my husband. I may not have been in love with him, but we were attached in a different way.

The kids seemed to just sit and sniffle, once in a while their eyes filled with tears, all except for Greg. He was nearly lifeless as he sat one spot away from me, next to my mother, and just stared like he wasn't present in his own head. The service continued on with prayers and words of Mark's life, but now it was my big moment. It was time to deliver the Eulogy. I hated to be the center of attention, but more than that I knew I'd lose it due to the pressure of the situation and the awkwardness of speaking loving words about a man who tried to kill me and my pseudo boyfriend.

I stood up awkwardly once the official announced my name and intent, and made my way to the podium. I stood there for a few seconds and took in a deep breath to calm my nerves and emotions before I started reading what had taken me days to perfect. With teary eyes and a heavy heart, I started the eulogy of my dead husband.

"Mark Samuel Carmina was a lot of things, but most importantly, he was a beloved father and husband. There wasn't anything that he wouldn't do for his family. To him, keeping the family together was most important. He spent time alone with the kids as often as he could and watched out for them while I spent years occupied with college.

I'm not going to lie, Mark had flaws, but everyone does, including me. Despite all of that, in general he was a fine father and husband. He was devoted and loved his family above all else. He would have done anything to keep his family together, which ultimately caused his death. Sometimes Mark didn't know when enough was enough and when to let go. But maybe that's not a flaw as much as it is a gift.

When Mark and I first met, he was a gift, sent to me to heal a broken heart. Soon friendship turned to love, marriage and children. Our family was happy up until the tragic events of this past year. He was no saint, but his death is just as much my fault as it is his. Many of you now know how he really acted at times. He was irrational and jealous, but that doesn't negate the fact that he loved us more than anything and that all he wanted was happiness for all of us.