The Unbelievable Life of Lynn Carmina

Chapter 37: As Good as it Gets

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Chapter 37: As Good as it Gets

Staring my son in his sad and wounded eyes was absolutely heart breaking. I wanted to help him, to fix things but I didn't know how to even begin. Julien held his comforting arm around my shoulder for moral support as I sat by Greg's bedside all night, waiting for him to regain consciousness. When he did, it wasn't the conversation I expected. Instead of 'I love you mom and I'm sorry', I got remarks far worse. They were like daggers to my heart

"Mom... " He tried to squeak out, but it came out as a strained whisper. I held a hand to his cheek to quiet him.

"Shh. Baby don't talk, just rest." I insisted, gripping his hand in mine and silently thanking that heavens that my baby was still alive.

All I could see before my weary eyes were flashes of terror, the blood, his pale lifeless looking face and all the people buzzing around trying to save him. That sickening feeling I had when I found him was rising in me again at the memories of what I'd witnessed.

"I want... dad. Where's dad?" He whispered in a muffled voice.

It crushed me that he still wanted his dad after all that Mark had done. He was an asshole and an abusive bastard. He almost killed me and the baby. There was no excuse for what he'd done whether it was intended or not. But I guess a boy needs his father. I suppose Greg will always need Mark in that way, even if he's a complete douche.

"He's still in jail honey." I answered quietly, shamefully. It wasn't a secret that I'd come to despise Mark, but I still felt a pang of guilt that I had put my kids' father in jail. He deserved it for hitting me, but the remorse was obvious in my guilty eyes.

"What? You left him there?" He tried to yell but it came out as more of a squak. He ripped his hand from mine and quickly turned away from me. It hurt more than I imagined it would.

"Greg I... " I hesitated, searching for the right words. I wanted to explain things, make him see that his dad was where he needed to be, behind bars paying for his crimes.

"Let him out. Drop the charges and let him out. I need him." He pleaded quietly sounding as though he was almost in tears.

"Your mother can't do that Greg. Your dad, he's not safe to be around." Julien interjected. He spoke sympathetically and offered a reason why Greg's request was impossible, but I knew my son wouldn't accept it. He was stubborn, just like me.

"He's my dad and that's something that you, Mr. fuck buddy, will never be." He softly growled at Jules, but I knew he didn't mean it. He was just hurt and confused. He always seemed to like Julien, so it prompted me to wonder why he had taken this harsh attitude with him.

I wanted to change the subject before things got more out of hand than they already were. When things are intense like this, people say things they don't mean. They may regret it and apologize later, but that doesn't mean it's forgotten and that it doesn't sting. So, I steered the conversation away from his dad and toward what Greg could expect to happen next.

"Tomorrow they will be transferring you to the adolescent psychiatric ward. You'll be an inpatient there until you get better. It could be weeks. I'm sorry Greg." I recounted the plan for helping him, what the doctor had informed me of.

His head whipped around and he glared at me with fire in his eyes. A pang of guilt ran through me because for one, this was my fault and two, it was incredibly difficult to have your child hospitalized for weeks to months. I'd been in this situation twice before, but it didn't hurt any less this time.

I frowned averting my gaze for a second. Jules squeezed my shoulder supportively, but I wanted so much more than that. I wanted his comforting embrace, his soothing lips, but it was an inappropriate time to showcase our affection for one another when Greg was clearly very bothered by it and seemed to suddenly dislike Jules so much.