The Unbelievable Life of Lynn Carmina

Chapter 12: Greg's story

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Chapter 12: Greg’s Story

I stared up at his expectant brown eyes. Could I really do this? I’m not so sure that now is the right time. I bit my lip as I fought an internal wrestling match with myself. The truth was so raw, so painful. I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready to tell him and I wasn’t ready for him to know. This was a mistake and now I had to come up with some excuse, and a good one at that.

“Lynn, what is it? What’s wrong?” he asked with such care and concern in his eyes that I almost believed it to be true. Not quite, but almost.

“Look Julien, I… I just…” I couldn’t even come up with anything worth saying. I tried to stammer out anything that wasn’t the truth, but the words evaded me.

“Is it your son? Is he in the hospital again?” He leaned in closer to me and laid a hand on my leg. It sent shivers down my spine, but didn’t take my mind off of the subject of my son, Greg. He was 13 now, but at the time his troubles started, he was only 8 years old. It reminded me of the time I first told just Julien about Greg.

We were in the cafeteria, a group of us, eating lunch and talking before a planned study session in the library. I started talking to Jenna about the problems I had been having with Greg lately and Julien just watched and listened, with an odd look on his face. One that said he wanted to interject, but changed his mind.

After we made our way to the library, we settled in the group room, it was Parker, Julien, Jenna, Angie and I. I started retelling the story for Angie when Julien suddenly felt the need to give his input.

“You need to give the kid a break Lynn. He’s not a child.” Julien commented with an heir of nonchalance. Who did he think he was commenting on how I raise my children? That kind of thing just pissed me off.

“He is a child and he is MY child Julien, not yours!” I retorted, anger evident in my voice. I shot daggers at him and hoped they would pierce his heart. It had been eight months, and our sometimes strained, but always confused relationship was at the point where I wanted to kill him, every second of every day.

“Settle down. I was just saying that maybe if you gave him a break and stopped being so critical, he wouldn’t act out like that.” Julien stated calmly, almost knowingly. Sure he had kids, but they were younger than Greg and he was hardly one to talk, I mean look at what kind of role model he was.

“And I’m just saying that he is my son and I don’t want you talking about him like you know him. He has been through a lot. You have no idea how much Julien, so just shut the hell up!” I shouted at him. My anger was brimming, ready to overflow. He had no right to discuss my son that way and he had no right to give me unsolicited advice.

I glared at him harder, before I realized tears were beginning to brim in my eyes. I averted my gaze from him and the others. Julien got up and mumbled something about forgetting a book in his locker and left the room.

 “I have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” I said to Angie and Jenna, then left after Julien.

He wasn’t going to get away with this. I was upset, but I didn’t really know what got me so upset to begin with. Was it that he was speaking about Greg, or was it the fact that it was just Julien who was doing the talking? I wasn’t certain, but I felt the need to let him know that it was not okay to speak to me about my kids.