Till Death Do Us Part'

Chapter 29, "I'm Scared"

Jayda's POV

Zayn ended up being the one to order my food. I didn't realize how hungry I was, until I started to imagine the taste of the food in my mouth. Kara took a detour I guess which kind of made me mad, but only because I was severely hungry.

"Here you go. Being in a band has it perks sometimes," Zayn laughed.

I joined in before grabbing my food. I ordered two double-doubles, regular fries, animal styled fries, a milkshake, and a fruit punch. We were hungry.

"Omg, it's so good," I let out.

Zayn laughed in response. Thankfully, he didn't say anything about what I had ordered even though I knew he was thinking it.

"How are you? You know...about Harry?"

"I don't know honestly. I just want him to be okay. I love him so much Zayn I really do, and if I have to hope for the both of us, I will. I just can't raise these kids on my own." I cried, not even realizing it.

"I know Jayda, I know. I can't make excuses for him and I won't, but you know his heart. You know he loves all three of you," he chuckled, "just don't give up on him. He'll come back to you, and be the same man you married. Y'all are not a mistake. None of this is. Hell, y'all are the example we all want to be."

"Thanks Zayn. I really needed to hear that. I should probably finish, I hate cold fries." I said, not wasting time to dig in.

Harry's POV

"Kara I'm losing my mind over here. What even am I supposed to say to her? She probably doesn't even want to talk to me. Oh god, I kicked my pregnant wife out, with twins! This isn't even my place to be kicking her out of Kara. Louis would kill me if he was here. Kara promise me you'll never tell Louis."

"Harry jesus dude stop rambling. And yes, yes I am telling Louis just so he can kick your ass. I would love to see that."

"Oh fuck off. Kara...I have a question though," I said, cleaning up the last of the glass.

"Hmm?"

"Why....well why didn't you tell me out of all people? I'm the one who introduced y'all. You didn't think I deserved a heads up?"

"I just. I don't know Harry I just didn't know how to tell you. I guess I was scared you would be mad."

"Mad? How could I ever be mad? I'm happy you're happy and I'm happy Zayn is too. You've always been a sister to me, you know that."

"I know...I'm sorry."

I gave her a quick hug and we ran towards the car."

Jayda's POV

30 minutes later

As Zayn and I finished up our food, mostly him since I was already done, and bantered a bit about everything, the door swung open.

We both turned our heads to find Kara and Harry. His hair was messy, however he seemed sober. I could see the bags under his eyes from a combination of drunkenness and no sleep.

"Harry?" I choked.

"Hey..." he said shyly.

"Jesus Harry are you okay? Are you feeling alright? Are you hurt?" I said, waddling towards him.

"I'm fine Jayda honestly. Are you?" he said, holding my elbows.

I backed away from him, as reality hit me like a tidal wave. He left me. No actually, he kicked me out.

"Am I okay? Am I okay? Harry you're kidding right?" I yelled.

"Jayda I-"

"No Harry. You don't get to do that to me. You do not get to kick me out with your two kids in me! Harry, we made a vow to each other. A fucking vow! You don't get to come back and expect to just win me back."

"Jayda calm down. The babies-"

"The babies are fine Harry. Don't tell me to calm down. You would've let me figure this out on my own. Two kids all on my own Harry. I've given everything for you Harry and I would again. I love you with everything in me. Am I not enough for you? Do you not want this anymore?" I said, in a softer voice tears rolling down my face.

"Of course I want this. Jayda I'm so sorry. Can you just let me explain?" he pleaded.

I stared at him. I wanted to hear his explanation. I wanted to forgive him. Hell, I just wanted to be in his arms right now. I looked around at Zayn and Kara and instantly felt bad for yelling in their home.

"Oh my, guys I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Don't worry about it it's fine," Zayn assured.

"Jayda, please. Just let me take you home and explain."

Harry's POV

My heart was pounding out of my chest waiting for Jayda's reply.

"Fine." she said sharply, "thank you Zayn for the food."

She walked past me and out to the car. We rode in silence all the way home. I watched Jayda carefully as she walked into the house. She sat on the bed looking up at me with tearful eyes. It was only now when I realized her bags mimicked mine.

"Explain," she stated.

"Jayda, I can't express the amount of sorry I am. I freaked out okay? His words really got to me. What if I'm not the man you thought I was? What if I'm not a good dad? I'm just...I'm just scared. So fucking scared and I've been trying so hard to be strong for you."

"Harry you know that's not true. I've seen you with kids-"

"Other people's kids Jayda. I don't want to screw it up. I want to be here for you. I love you so much. I don't regret anything and I would never take it back. I just lost myself. I'm back now okay? I'm not leaving."

"Harry you've said that so many time before. Are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Are you back? Are you my Harry again?" she asked, running her hands through my hair.

I looked at her. How could I ever mess this up? I fucked up.

"I'm back love. I promise. I made a vow to you, and I will stand by that for the rest of my life."

"Harry, please don't do that to me again. I just-I didn't think you wanted me anymore. I love you so much. I'm just trying to hold it together Harry, but I'm losing it." she cried, into my shoulder.

I feel like I've broken her. I needed to do and be better for her.

"I won't I promise. I'm sorry and I know I sound like a broken record, but I won't leave you again."

I kissed her passionately wanting her to know my words were true.

"I trust you," she whispered.

"Come on, let's get you to sleep." I said, kissing her head.

"You too. You look like shit."

I laughed at her choice of words. I snuggled into her as we laid there. I needed to stick by my word. I can't leave again.