Twisted Chaos

Stephen

What the fuck are they doing in there? It has been 30 minutes. He is probably in there hitting on her like all the other men that meet her do. It pisses me off and what really pisses me off is that she entertains the idea. She refuses to be with me, but she will fuck with these dumb asses that do her wrong. I mean, yeah, she will fuck me every now and then but she won't commit, even though she knows I would commit to her in a heartbeat. She always feeds me her typical I don't want to risk our friendship bullshit. Blah fucking blah. I bet you she is in there fucking that damn pig right now. He looks like an asshole, just her type. I should go in there and beat the hell out of him for being a prick; saying that I wasn't a good head of security. He doesn't know me, and I don't appreciate the comment. Fuck him though for real. I don't care what he thinks. I do, however, care that she could have been killed while I was out worrying about getting pussy. How is she supposed to believe that I love her more than anything, like I say I do when I did this? God, I'm a dumb ass. 

She has always had my back and I let her down. That girl has bailed me out of jail, when I was young, dumb and let my temper get the best of me. She helped me through my PTSD when I got back from Iraq. She even stayed after I put my hands on her while I was drunk and in an episode. I did three tours in Iraq. War takes a toll on your mind. When I got back I had a hard time coping and adjusting to being home. I drank all the time to numb the pain and silence the darkness that I felt inside. She was the light that silenced the demons that were living inside me. If it weren't for her, I would have given up. I had such anger and sorrow back then. She got me through it. I don't talk about the war often, it's too hard. Being the one who lived when everyone else around you didn't isn't something you talk about lightly. A lot of great men lost their lives while I was overseas. My friends who became my brothers died for this country, right in front of me. It fucked me up. Aria went through a lot as a child. She has her own demons that she lives with, I guess that's why she knows how to silence mine. Our demons have found solitude in each other. 

The day I put my hands on her was the worst day of my life. It was worse than anything I encountered during the war. I hurt the one person who was always there for me. I was drunk and so enraged. I had gotten a call earlier that day about a friend of mine, Joe. He was killed at war. Joe had 2 kids and a wife back home. The thought that he died, while I was home safe killed me. I tried to numb the pain with liquor, which didn't help. We were at home, Aria and her ex Damon were fighting. He put her through a glass table, I heard the commotion and ran down there. When I saw her laying in the glass, I flipped out, grabbed him up and started beating on him. Aria got up, stepped in to stop me and I ended up hitting her in the face. I knocked her unconscious, gave her a concussion and blacked her eye. When I saw her lying unconscious, covered in glass and blood, a part of me died inside. I was just as bad as Damon. I don't know what came over me. I was just so angry, my only focus was killing him for what he did to her. I know what she went through as a child, that's one thing I swore I would never put her through. I broke that promise that night and somehow she forgave me. I would have killed Damon if she hadn't stepped in. I am thankful for her everyday. God, she has done so much for me. I will never again make a mistake like this or that and put her in harm's way. I'm supposed to be her protector. I have to make it up to her somehow, some way.