My Dark Poetry

Unfixable

You see how hard I'm trying,

And how hard it is,

To assure you that I am indeed getting better,

When really I am just falling deeper,

In this dark hole,

Of my self doubt.

Recovery is hard,

And all I want to do is go back,

When no one knew my secret,

Or the hatred that rages inside.

I still can't look in the mirror,

Without thinking about how much I want to change,

I never told you before,

But I guess now is a good time,

I can't help but cry every night,

Because I know I will never get better,

I am just too worthless,

Too helpless,

You will leave me,

Just like everyone else in my past did.

Every night is one battle after another,

Every minute,

Every second,

I could be happy the beginning of the day,

But then I just fall apart,

I will never be able to get better,

I guess I am just unfixable.