My Dark Poetry

I have become

I still can't find out

Who I am

And where I belong

Whenever I try

I always end up

Back where I started

An empty room full of memories

That come back to me

When I don't want to remember them.

Blank pages

Fill all of my journals

I have nothing left to say anymore

I can't seem to find the words

To explain the feelings

That hide behind my mask.

 I feel so much

But hide it so well

How can I express who I am

When I don't even know

Who I am.

I am just a copy

Standing in the shadows

Of greater people

Who always seem to be better than I.

I'm fake

On both the inside and out

I lost myself

On the way through the darkness

And no one can seem

To help me find

My way back.

I have an 'attitude'

I'm rude to the people

Who say they care

I shut everyone out

So no one will have to feel

The way I do

So you don't feel pain

When I'm crying on the floor.

I don't know who to trust

So I shut you all out

So I won't get hurt again.

When I tell you I'm fine

But when I'm behind closed doors

I am not fine

And I never will be fine

But you can't seem to see that

Because I am a copy

A shadow

A  fake

Created to be a perfect image

Of someone who is not me.

Let me rot

Alone in my room

With blades in my hand

And a cold heart

You all would be fine without me

Because I am a pile of bones

Here to trick you all

With fake smiles

And happiness

When really inside I'm breaking.

Leave me to rot

No one cares about me anyway

Goodbye to you all

I'll be fine

With a journal full of blank pages

A broken heart that is never full

And a mask

That hides me

From the messed up person

I have become.