All or nothing (Levi x reader)

Chaper 23

It had been nearly a week since you've been gone, everyone was still hurting over it, but no one was hurting more than Levi and Erwin.

The commander hardly left his office, Mike or Hanji would have to take his food to him. They hadn't heard anything about any up coming expeditions or any other news, and when they saw him in the hallways they knew he had been crying, his eyes were always bloodshot and puffy.

With Levi it was different, he would come grab his food and go. He was either pushing everyone too far and being more hostile than usual or he just wasn't being hostile enough.

He had dark circles from under his eyes showing he wasn't sleeping well at all.

"What can we do?" Christa asked.

The cadets were all sat outside, basking in the sun together.

"Well, there's not much we can do. To help them we'd have to bring her back, and we can't.." Jean replied.

No one dared to say your name, they couldn't bring themselves to do it.

"What about her room? No ones been in there." Ymir brought up.

"Let Commander Erwin and Captain Levi do it." Admin said gently, "if anyone should be the first in there it's them."

Everyone nodded, they knew he was right. Those two should be the first ones to go into your room, it was only fair since they're the two most affected.

Hours passed and Levi looked at the paperwork on his desk. Next to it was a nearly folded cloak, rips and stained with blood and dirt like the day it was found.

Out of all the tidiness around him, it was the only thing that stood out.

He stared at it long and hard.

"Where are you...?" He whispered to himself.

He still refused to accept the fact that you were gone. He believed that one day you were just going to kick the door open to his office like you usually did.

Sit on his desk, mess up his paperwork, steal random books from him, run in and out all day and night, sleep on his couch, ruffle his hair, kiss his nose.

He never realised how special those moments truly were until they were gone. He never thought he'd loose the things that made his day full and complete, not until all he was left with now was silence.

Standing up, Levi carefully grasped the cloak in his hands. He couldn't keep staring at it, so he slowly left his office as walked down the hallway to your room.

He stood there, staring at the door. He could still picture you throwing your door open for him, grinning at him as you showed him your messy room during room checks.

Reaching out, Levi's fingers brushed the knob of the door and he pulled back. Slowly reaching out again to twist it and opened the door, it creaked as he slowly pushed it.

Inside was a mess, clothes everywhere, books, papers. It made him smile just a tiny bit.

"Tsk... always the messiest one.." he whispered.

Stepping in, Levi closed the door behind him, eyes glancing around. He first headed to the bed, placed the cloak gently upon it before looking around.

His eyes finally landed on the bedside table where two letters lay. Furrowing his brows he picked one up and saw his name in it.

Sitting down on your bed, Levi carefully opened it and pulled the slip of paper out.

Dear Levi,
I'm not too sure why I'm writing this. I suppose I'm just scared that something will happen to me and I'll leave you behind.
I want to thank you for everything you've done for me, because of you I know how to control myself, I'm not as scared of loosing control as I once was, because I know you can bring me back.
We've come a long way since we first met, to fighting captain and soldier to friends to... well... I'm not sure what we were.
What I do know is that I love you, and this past year since what happened at the village I know I can always count on you.
If anything happens to me just know that I'll always be with you, and that you're not alone, there's always people with you like Erwin, Hanji and Mike. Don't lock them out, please.
I'm sorry I didn't say any of this in person, I just couldn't think of the right words to say until now.
I love the way you stayed close to me whenever I wasn't myself, I love the way you give a little smile when I do something you know I'm not meant to, I love the way you always treat me the same as everyone and don't give me special treatment (for the most part at least), I love the little walks we'd take in the morning, the way the sun made your eyes a little happier, I love the nights we spend together in silence.
If I don't come back, I want you to have my ring. I want you to wear it and remember you're not alone, because you're not.
Just remember I'm always with you in your heart, I'm always beside you because I would walk with you until the end of the world... then past it...

He didn't realise but tears begun falling from his eyes onto the paper. Levi held the note close to his chest as he squeezed his eyes shut.

Wiping his tears, he reached into the envelope and pulled out a simple silver ring. Placing it on his right index finger where you used to wear it.

He stayed there for a few seconds before taking the other one. He took a deep breath, regained his composure and left the room, one idea swirling around his head.

He was going to give Erwin his letter, then he was going to write you one back