All or nothing (Levi x reader)

Chapter 36

You walked over to them, you stared at the folded slip of paper.

"Did he say who it's by?" You asked nervously.

Who was it from? Was it from Micheal? Did he find Otis?

Nathanael nodded his head and gestured to Lucan and answer before he vanished into the air once more.

"I was told it was found on the desk of one Levi Ackerman, addressed to you for some reason."

"Levi..." you whispered.

You slowly reached up, your hands begun to tremble as your fingers brushed the paper. You were meant to forget about him, put him behind you in order to stop Micheal.

You pulled you hand away, but reached back out.

It wouldn't hurt to read it, you didn't have to reply. Plus you knew no matter how hard you fought this feeling, you were going to read it, you absolutely had to.

You took the letter and headed back to your chair where it was bright, trembling fingers slowly opening it.

You instantly recognised his handwriting, and a soft smile spread across your face as your free hand gripped the fabric of the cloak behind you, wrapping it around your body.

Dear (Y/N)

I highly doubt you'll ever read this, after all I wouldn't even know where to go in order to give it to you.
I don't even know if you're still alive. Part of me believes your are, yet the other doubts that's true, you can only stay alive outside the walls for so long.
But I wanted to write this to get some things out that I've been meaning to say I suppose, it's took a while to do this, but perhaps it will give me some closure.
It's painful without you here, I can still hear your voice in my dreams, but I know it's not the real you.
You're so far away but I can still feel you. When I close my eyes it doesn't help because I can still see you, I loved the way the sun wrapped around you in the early morning, like a dress woven from the light.
I may not have admitted it, but I loved your curiosity, and how you always knew what was at stake.
I'm scared that if I don't relive those moments we have, you'll turn into nothing more than a ghost, but I was glad that finally a piece of happiness found me.
I'm scared that this is all a dream and I'll wake up to having never met you.
There's no many things I want in this world, I want piece, and for Hanji to stop being so annoying, but the truth is, I want nothing more then to hear your snarky remarks about my height, feel your hand mess up my hair once again, your laugh as you run down the hallways, you kiss my nose before you go to sleep.
If I could, I'd go back and tell you this in person, but I can't.
You became such a normal part of my routine it's not the same without you here and I always know I'm missing something, I know the other cadets and Erwin do too.
But you know what?
Out of all the time we spent together, it's the beginning I remember the most, from a snarky cadet with major anger issues, to a woman with demon inside of her, to someone I could class as a friend, to someone I love. I remember meeting you in the morning and listening to the hummingbirds singing, at the time I found it annoying, now I wonder back everyday hoping I'll see your face.
Wherever you are, whatever happened, just know that even though you're not here, there still isn't anything I wouldn't do to bring you back and keep you safe if I could.
I'm sorry I couldn't protect you (Y/N). I love you. I miss you. I hope to see you again one day, and if not, I'll make sure I'll go see the ocean for us both, I promise

~ Levi

Tears streamed from your eyes and you held the note close to your chest. You bent over a little, curling your into a ball on the chair, quiet sobs wracking your body.

"I'm so sorry Levi.." you sobbed, "I'm really sorry..."

A hand placed itself on your back, rubbing up and down slowly to comfort you.

"I know it hurts, it will do for a long time, but remember this is up to you. You can go back to him, or you can stay. We will respect your choice."

You cried for a little bit longer until there were no more tears to cry, then you wiped your eyes and connected eyes with Lucan, sniffling a little bit.

You'd made up your mind, and in a way this letter had given you the push that you needed in order to do so.

"I'm going to stay, and do whatever I can to protect them."