sunflower |hawks x reader| WATTYS 2022

35: kid?

⚠️MANIPULATIVE BEHAVIOR AHEAD⚠️

{again, I've written a summary paragraph at the end if this triggers you too much :)}

When Hawks woke up, the first thing he did was call for Y/N. He was restrained, chained to the wall like an animal.

Just like when he was a kid.

Hawks didn't have the slightest idea of where Y/N was and that shook him to the bone. He called Y/N's name again and tried to break his chains but it was no use. Dread sunk into Hawks' chest as he realized he was alone.

Hawks couldn't feel the feather that he had given Y/N and that scared the shit out of him. He tried to use his feathers on the metal chains but for some reason, they burned. He huffed and sat down on the cell bed, pulling his knees to his chest.

Hawks didn't know how long he was in the cellblock for, but it was so long that his hair became greasy.  He was dirty and alone.

He missed Y/N with everything he had. When he slept, he dreamt of her, when he woke up, he thought of her. She wasn't dead since Collector wanted her for his...well...collection.  He could make peace in that.

He was going insane in this fucking cell.

Sometimes Hawks would miss Y/N so much he would get angry.

Punching cell walls, cursing himself for bringing her along with him, destroying what he could in his cell, and yelling her name at the top of his lungs in hope that if she was still here, she could hear him.  He threw himself into what looked like a glass wall, looking into an abyss. 

It felt like he was there for years.

Every day the silence got worse. The loneliness started to crush him, leaving him only with his own thoughts and all the horrible thing he did.

Every once in a while, a memory of Y/N would float into his mind and he remembered peace. He remembered how she looked when she was asleep next to him or the caring in her eyes as she took care of him the hotels.

Hawks remembered how beautiful she looked in the morning when the sunlight poured into the window and reflected off of her hair.

Those gorgeous eyes would flutter open and she would give him the most breath-taking smile before drawing him in and placing a chaste kiss on his lips.

Hawks was suddenly snapped back into his own reality in the dark and damp cell. Tears streamed down his face as he stared at the ceiling.

"I miss you every day," he croaked out into the darkness. As soon as he spoke, the cell door swung open for the first time.

And there she was.

Y/N stood right in front of him.

He felt a smile grow on his face and he let out a light laugh before standing and trying to go to her but the chains held him back.

"Y/N." She was different. She didn't look at him the same way she did before. 

She didn't look at him like she loved him.

"Locked you up good, I see," Y/N commented casually, looking at his chains.

"Yeah, kid, glad you got eyes." he laughed lightly. "Now come on and help me out of these before someone sees you. Did you see Toya on your way here?"

She just stared at him and sighed deeply.

"Kid?"

"You are pitiful, you know that?" Y/N said, staring at him in disgust. "I mean, did you really think that I could love a thing like you?"

Hawks felt like he had been punched in the gut. "What?"

"You're smart, Hawks. That's why you made it to the number two hero spot." Y/N picked at her nails. "The Collector told me about everything you did. The people you hurt."

Hawks' stomach dropped at her words.

"I mean really, no wonder why Allison cheated on you, Hawks. You've killed people." Y/N shook her head and curled her lip in disgust. "I think deep down you know you're just...unlovable."

"You don't mean that," Hawks stepped back away from Y/N so his back was pressed on the wall, trying to get as far from her as possible. "No...you said you cared about me."

"I lied." Y/N shrugged. "No one has ever really loved you, right?"

Hawks felt like he was hyperventilating as he slid to the floor.

"I mean, when you were a kid you were just a weapon. Just a little trained hero the commission could control. Your parents gave you up, so not even the people who gave life to you loved you," Y/N laughed in delight. "Allison, the first woman you got into a serious relationship with cheated on you because she saw your true colors. I mean, not even Toya cares about you."

"No..."

"He's a fucking villain, Hawks." Y/N chided. "He's a psychotic murderer, he doesn't love you. He doesn't love anything, he's not capable of emotion. No villain is."

Y/N's words sent him into a panic attack.

"No, you can't fake the look in your eyes when you looked at me before, Y/N. No one can fake what we have." Hawks shook his head and started rocking back and forth on the floor, gasping for breath. "You can't, you can't, you can't, you can't. Oh god please, please, please, please, please."

"Hawks, I used you to get over an ex. You're nothing more than a rebound to me."

"This isn't real. This isn't real." Hawks thought back to when they found Toya in his cell.

"Nice one, Collector. You already used them, you fucker! When are these gonna get good?"

"Oh yeah, I'm sure it's you." 

When Y/N opened his eyes his pupils were huge like...

"Like he was on drugs," Hawks suddenly realized. It was gas that made him collapse, so he looked along the floor and ceiling to find a source.

"Are you really that desperate, Hawks?" Y/N scoffed. "You think someone fucking drugged you when really you can't face the reality that you aren't loved?"

"Yeah, Fake Y/N, I'm feeling pretty desperate." Hawks muttered, crawling along the floor before he saw three tiny spouts coming from the wall. "Ah-ha!"

He laughed in delight. "It's fake! It's all fake!"

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IN THIS CHAPTER: Hawks is in a cell for an unknown period of time (with his wings intact). he felt as if he was slowly going insane when Y/N enters the room and tell him about how he's useless and isn't loved and he never cared about him. In the end, it turns out Hawks, Dabi, and Y/N are inhaling a hallucinative gas and nothing was real.

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a/n: yeah so, i'm finishing the book tonight LMAO

it's gonna be a long night for both of us, shitheads so buckle the fuckle up :))!!!!

also, y'all, i'm writing all of this back to back to back to back asdfdfghj

love you guys!! don't forget to vote and comment!!