Love, Yejin

January 3, 1997

Dear Diary,

Hello! Oh my god! It's been a while, diary... I'm so sorry I wasn't able to write and share what's happening to me for the past few days because I went to my imo's house in Busan. I left you here in my room, so I haven't had the chance to write something for you. All of us here in the house traveled to my halmoni and haraboji's hometown because appa decided that we should spend our New Year Eve's with my eomma's family side.

Anyway, Happy New Year, diary! Can you believe it? It's already 1997 and my birthday is fast approaching! I'll be turning sixteen (in Korean age)... Hays, how time flies so fast!

How was your New Year, diary? I know you were so lonely here alone in my room. Good thing that our New Year celebration with my halmoni and haraboji was so fun. I enjoyed it a lot with my imos, samchons and sachons. I received lots of gifts from them as well which I am very happy and thankful for. Especially my halmoni... She silently asked me to come into my eomma's old room and gave me a necklace with a butterfly pendant. She said she gave one like this to eomma when she was around my age. I smiled widely at her when she put it on in my neck, and as I looked in the mirror, it really suits me beautifully. It looks like the butterfly pendant was shimmering and blending well with my skin. I am even wearing it now. It made my eyes teary when my halmoni hugged me... She said that I should never hide my wings. Like a butterfly, I shouldn't be afraid to fly high and dream big. Aww, my halmoni is so sweet, right? I hugged her so tight and smelled her scent. I always love her scent, and I missed it so much. We only visit them once in a while so I haven't had much time like this with them.

One of my sachons, Eunkyung, gave me a fit and sexy black dress. I was really shocked why she gave me a dress like that! Like... Hello? It's not my kind of style dress, and she knows it. Well, Eunkyung is my samchon's daughter, and we're in the same age. Among all my sachons, she's the closest to me. If we're there in my eomma's hometown, we're the ones who are always together. Of course, aside from Bin, I also have other friends. It's just that, Bin and I grew up together, like without a choice. Haha! Hmmm... Hays, thinking about him making me feel down again... We haven't seen each other after Christmas, even after we got home from Busan since I still rarely go out of my room.

Anyway, let's go back to Eunkyung... Yes, since we're close, we do share secrets with each other everytime we had a chance. When we stayed in Busan, we slept beside each other and as always, we had girly talks before we go to sleep. You know what, I was so shocked because she confessed to me that she already has a boyfriend! And I couldn't believe that he is five years older than Eunkyung. Her boyfriend is already a second-year college student. I asked her questions why did she commit to much older than her. Then she said that once you like someone, age doesn't matter anymore. Ehh? Really? Hmmm... What more shocking was she said that they already kissed! Oh my god! I really couldn't believe her! She laughed at me and said that she'll also tease me once I'll get my first kiss. Ehhh! I haven't even think of that yet... I'm still too young for that, right, diary?

She also asked me some questions... She asked if I have a crush right now. Hmmp! Of course, I said no... Because it's true! But I don't know what's wrong with me when after she asked that question, I suddenly think about Bin. Yuck! Please, I don't like him! Yes, he's handsome, but I only see him as a friend and nothing more than that. Hays, that bully!

Yes, speaking of that bully... Hmmm, we're still not okay. I don't know why I am so bothered about seeing him with that girl! Ahrrr! Okay, yes, he lied to me, but he has all the right to like someone, right? Ok, fine! He already has a girlfriend, but why do I care so much? Eerrr, what I just hate is that he didn't tell me about it, and that's just it! I shouldn't take it as a big deal like thinking that it will ruin the friendship we have for years. Hays, I think I was not just on my right mind for the past few weeks... Maybe I was not just used to seeing him being close with someone else aside from me.

But... How do you know when you really like someone, diary? Does Bin really like that girl? Ahhrg! I so hate it that I can't have any answers to these questions that keep hanging on my mind for how many nights already...

Should I just wait for Bin to share with me about his girlfriend, or should I ask him first? I was actually really planning to go to their house tonight and try to catch up with him... I want to watch a movie with him since my imo gave me a movie CD tape. I know Bin will like this movie since it says on the CD cover that the actor plays baseball in this movie...

But... Hays, I'm kinda hesitant if I should go there tonight. You know, even my samchon asked me why he didn't see Bin going in our house, or why he didn't see me with him.

Ooppps! Wait, diary, someone's knocking on my door! Bye for now, diary!

Love,
Yejin