Love, Yejin

February 10, 1997

Dear Diary,

How are you? Hmmm... It's monday. I just got here in my room and finished changing my clothes.

Today, I got really busy at school... We cleaned our classroom as well as our school garden making my body extra tired. Haysss... I don't know, but everyday at school, I am feeling less comfortable and less excited especially with Bin around. After my picnic date with Go Soo, I always felt guilty everytime he calls me on the telephone. I'm not sure if I should tell my friends about this... Even earlier, when they asked me about what happened to our date, I only told them that I had fun and Go Soo gave me a flower. They were giggling while I was telling that to them. Of course, I excluded the part what I truly felt when Go Soo said he likes me, who's the person I was thinking, and who's the person I wished to be with me on that afternoon... Hays!

During our first subject, Bin approached me again. Well, it's not something new. He keeps on appearing wherever I go. Grrr! He really didn't know that he's giving me headaches with his actions towards me. He's so insensitive!!! How I wish I could tell him honestly that I don't want to see him so I can help myself to be totally free from him...

During lunchbreak, he took my tray and food again at the cafeteria. But you know what, there's a rumor that Bin and Kyo have broken up! Well, I'm not really sure though if that's true! But, ahhhh! When Bin handed me my tray with food, he lowered his head and whispered behind my ear. He said "I'll go at the back of your house later after school. Meet me there." Ahhhrg! He's really acting feeling cool! Duh! I don't want to go! I don't want to see his face!

I shouldn't go, right?

I just peeked at my window right now, but I didn't see any shadow of him... Duhhh! I'm not sure if he's serious about that, but whatever!

Oh... By the way, diary. Huhuhu! Our class adviser called me in the faculty room earlier... I was really nervous because I think she'll talk me about my grades. And I was never wrong! Huhuhuhu! She told me that my grades were fluctuating and I really need to work on with that! Huhuhuhu! I think this heartbreak of mine is really affecting my studies...

I was actually thinking if I should tell my eomma and appa about my plan... Hmmm, I was planning to ask them if I could transfer to another school. Huhuhuhu! I know Minjung and Inna won't really like this idea, and I'm sure they'll get mad at me about it... But I think that will help me to finally free myself from Bin. Huhuhuhu!

Yes, we're neighbors and even if I'll transfer to another school, I will still see him here outside our house. But at least I won't see him everyday at school, right? At least I won't be breathing in the same air in the classroom with him...

Hays, diary! I really wanted to go forward. I'm too tired. It's making my headache comes back to me again. He's making me hard to sleep at night again... It's no good for me! Huhuhu! It makes me even more forgetful sometimes. Bin is really making me sick, diary, and it's starting to make me worry... I should really find a way to help myself.

Also, I really got pissed off again with Bin during our last subject because he's insisting me to attend their baseball game this coming Wednesday. Ahrg! What does he want from me again? To cheer him up during their game just like before? Duhhh! He even said that, "I will expect a banner for me on that day, okay?" Wow!!! He has really gone nuts, diary! Bin is crazy...

Of course, I won't give him what he needs! In his dreams! Never! We're not friends anymore! Did he forget that? Grrrr!

If I'll transfer to another school, I will make sure to start a new life. I will find new friends! I will focus on my studies! I won't let Bin to ruin me again... Eomma and appa will understand me, diary, right?

Hays! Please help me pray, diary...

Oh my god!!! Ahhhh!!! Bin really came... Huhuhuhu! Oh my gosh... What should I do??? Huhuhuhu! I peeked on the window and I can see him at the back of our house sitting at our wooden bench... Ahhhrg! Help, diary! Help! Huhuhuhu!

Wait... I'll get back to you, okay? Bye for now...

Love,
Yejin