Love, Yejin

February 22, 1997

Dear Diary,

Uhm... Actually, I don't know how to start this one. I am just so overwhelmed with my feelings right now that I don't even know where to start.

Do you remember what I've told you for the past few days, right? Bin was trying to avoid me. I approached him several times to ask why he was getting away from me, but he really didn't give me any chance. I think I really did something wrong to him. I know he won't act like that without any valid reason.

After I read those pink notes he gave me, I collected myself and decided to go to Bin's house again. My heart felt so heavy at that time, dairy. I felt so sorry that I didn't know he also has feelings for me the same way that I have for him. I even thought of bad thoughts behind his actions towards me before, and I just thought that I was the only one having a hard time carrying with that feeling. I felt it was a selfish act of mine. Huhuhu! If I only opened his gift at that time on my birthday, we would've talked about it, right? Haysss...

When I got there in their house, I'm glad that his eomma was still awake, and she opened their main door for me. She asked me right away what I was doing there at such a late hour, and I told her that I wanted to talk to Bin... I don't know, but maybe my heart couldn't take it anymore, and I shouted loudly calling his name the moment I stood behind the door of his room. I knocked for how many times, but he still didn't open it. Huhuhu! No matter how I tried to keep my tears from falling, diary, but they streamed down when I realized I was already standing there for almost thirty minutes. I sobbed so hard, and his eomma went closer to me and hugged me.

After a few seconds, I and his eomma motioned in sync to his door when we heard the clicked sound of his doorknob. Huhuhu! Thank God, he finally opened it... Bin's eomma was the one who went first inside his room, and even though I wanted to see him right away, I felt like my feet were glued on the floor... Ahh! I couldn't move an inch and my heart was pumping so fast... The next moment, his eomma went out, and she told me that Bin was waiting for me inside. Slowly, I started moving my feet inside his room... And you know what? I felt so bad the moment my eyes laid on Bin. Huhuhuhu! Diary... I saw him sitting down on the floor hugging his folded knees. I really don't know what's happening to Bin because he seemed so serious and problematic. But when he saw me, he immediately sat straight and looked at me like he saw a terrifying ghost floating in the air.

Straightaway, I went to him and hold his shoulders... I was about to ask him what happened to him, but I got stunned when he brought his hands and rested them on each side of my face... I saw his eyes full of emotion, and it made my heart skip a beat when I suddenly remembered all the notes he had written for me. Ahhhh! Then he told me "Pabo-yah? Why did you forget again? I waited for you in our favorite flower shop for how many hours, but you never came." Huhuhuhu, diary!!! Huhuhuhu!!! How come did I forget about it? Huhuhuhu! There must be truly something wrong in my head because I was even so excited about it, but it really slipped on my mind...

I felt so sorry for Bin... Huhuhuhu! He even said, "I prepared a dinner date for you that night with lots of flowers you like the most, but you never came, Yej!" Ahhhh! It made me speechless... I wasn't able to utter a word after I heard him saying that to me. Huhuhu! He made an effort to prove his feelings for me, but I didn't give him a chance again... Huhuhu! Out of sorry for him, do you know what I did?

I moved my face closer to him, and the next thing I knew, my lips were already on top of his soft lips while letting out my tears dropping on my cheek... Huhuhuhu! I wasn't able to hold it anymore, diary. I didn't care anymore! That's what my heart and body want to do at that moment... I didn't even care if his eomma will see us kissing, but I felt like if I won't do it, I will regret it for the rest of my life... Huhuhu! I love Bin... I really do! I'm so sure that my heart only beats for him. He was the only boy who made my heart flutter like this... I don't want to run again. I don't want to do stupid things I will regret again... This time, I won't run away from him but run directly going closer to his heart.

My whole body felt like it was melting like ice cream when I sensed his lips moving slowly on mine... Huhuhuh! He kissed me back, diary... Ahhhhh! It took my breath away! I felt like I'm on cloud 9 when our heads began moving from side to side, and it was the best romantic feeling I ever felt with Bin. It was like we were the only ones left in the world. I felt like I was drowning in a deep ocean the way he kissed me. It feels like there were so many bolts of electricity running through my body when his right hand went on my nape to deepen our kiss and his other hand goes at the back of my waist... Ahhhhh! I didn't know I would feel something like that, diary. It was different from the kiss we had at the playground... He kissed me with so much love and passion. Huhuhuhu! I felt like millions of butterflies were flying on my stomach, diary...

Do you know what's more shocking? Ahhhh! It surprised me when I felt Bin's hand slowly going on top of... of... my breast! Oh, my god!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to stop him, but I can't really move. It feels like my whole body froze like a hard stone... Until we heard footsteps going closer and closer, and that's the time Bin immediately broke off our kiss. His thumbs went up to my cheeks, and he looked at me straight in the eyes while trying to catch our breaths... I said sorry to him, but he only started wiping off my tears... Then he said "No matter how many hours I'll wait, how many dinner dates and flowers will be wasted, my love for you is bigger than anything else in this world. I love you, Yej..." Ahhh! Oh my gosh, diary! Eottokke? Wahhhh! I was about to tell him 'I love you, too' but we saw his eomma arrived standing at his opened door. I felt so embarrassed, diary... I really wanted to hide my face especially when we stood up and Bin clasped his fingers to mine in front of his eomma. Bin looked at me and smiled, then he dragged me closer to where his eomma was standing...

"Eomma, meet my girlfriend, Yejin."

Ahhhhh! I felt like my heart was jumping out of my chest, diary... Bin said that so gently, and he even kissed me on my forehead in front of his eomma. Oh my gosh! I really thought his eomma was going to get mad at us, but seconds after, his eomma caressed the strands of my hair and hugged me and Bin. Then she said, "Geurae... But I'll discuss this with your parents tomorrow, Yejin-ah, okay?"

Bin and I nodded to his eomma and I went home a few minutes ago smiling from ear to ear. Ahhh! I couldn't believe it, diary! Oh my gosh! Is this really happening? I am really now Bin's girlfriend? Ahhh! I know he didn't ask me that typical question 'Narang sagweel lae?', but our kiss earlier speaks more than that, diary... Ahhh! I feel like I am floating right now, diary. I couldn't stop giggling!

This day finally came... Starting today, I am Bin's girlfriend, and he is mine. Only mine!!!

Love,
Yejin