Love, Yejin

December 21, 1996

Dear Diary,

Good evening!

It's eight in the evening. I just got home and I am exhausted. Today was our last day at school for our Christmas break. Though we only spent a half-day in our P.E class earlier, our teacher made us play three games in the field. It made my whole body aching, especially my legs for running around the oval and playing Chicken fight. You know I am small and thin, so as expected, I lost in the game. Uhhhg!

Good thing that I didn't fell hard on the ground, unlike last year that Bin needed to carry me to the infirmary because I got a sprain in my left ankle. I went to school for two weeks having clutches so I can walk properly, and Bin who's always by my side wherever I go. Even when I go to the girl's restroom... But of course, he just waits outside until I am done.

You know what diary, Bin is really acting weird. I don't know why. He even didn't sit beside me when we had our lunch at the school cafeteria. He took a seat beside Jun Jihoon, his teammate from the baseball team. Before, he's even the one to take the tray and gets our food while he just let me sits at the table waiting for him.

I really find it weird because it was the first. Even one of our classmates, Lee Minjung asked me earlier why Bin seems like avoiding me. I can't even answer her because I really don't know what to answer. I just pretended that I didn't hear her and continued chewing my food. Hays!

Though we went together to appa's restaurant after class, I can still feel his distance from me. I don't have the courage to approach him and tells him that I am feeling he's getting away from me. What if he'll answer me something that I don't want to hear? Sometimes it's better not to say anything, right? Saying how you truly feel might make things worse. Or maybe I am just thinking too much? Ahhhrrrgggg...

But I felt happy that he stayed with us for dinner because Appa made him his favorite soft tofu stew, and we washed the dishes together. Samchon almost scolded us because we played with the bubble soap while washing the plates. My samchon keeps saying that we're not little kids anymore. Well, Bin started it first!

I was really laughing earlier because the soap went into his eyes. He actually got almost mad, but I managed to make him smile when I also put some bubbles on my face afterward.

Anyway, diary... It's already three days before Christmas day, and I am having a hard time thinking about what gift I will give to Bin this year. Do you have any suggestions?

I already bought gifts for eomma, appa, samchon and Jisoo, but I still can't find one for Bin though I am thinking about it for two months already. I want to give him something special this year because you know, maybe it could make up for making him aloof from me. Hays, eotteokke? 

Last year he gave me a pink pencil case with a pink pen as well. It's so cute that I didn't even use it. He actually asked me why he didn't see me using it, but I answered him that I lost it when I transferred my things to a different bag. But I actually keep it in my drawer. Shhh!

I was also angry earlier because Kim Soyeon, the leader of the Spice Girls on our campus took my Sony Walkman. Huhuhu! They should be calling themselves Mean Girls instead, and not Spice ones. Ew! They're not even pretty and sexy. Ops! Don't judge me, diary. I'm just telling the truth! They're bullying girls from the other levels especially when there's a new transferee. They're a newbie tripper as always, that's why I really tried not to cross paths with them. I am only confident if I am with Bin because they can't go closer to us. Hahaha! Bin doesn't like them though they're always giving him gifts or snacks. The whole students on the campus know that Soyeon has a crush on Bin, but whatever she'll do, Bin will never like her back. Yuck!

Hays, but how can I get my Walkman from that girl? Huhuhu! I bought it when I break my piggy bank last March 1993. I've been carefully using it for three years. That's the only thing that keeps me from being unsocial when my best friend is not around. 

Should I ask for help from Bin? But... Hmmm... Hays! I don't know!

Anyway, diary... I think I should wash up now. I am excited for tomorrow since I will go with my eomma and Bin's eomma to the market to buy the ingredients for our Christmas dinner. I think Bin will also come with us! 

Do you think we can go back to what we usually have before, diary? I will let you know tomorrow what will happen...

Goodnight for now!

Love,
Yejin