Love, Yejin

January 22, 1997

Dear Diary,

Haysss! What a tiring day...

I just finished taking a half-bath, diary... It's still seven fifty-two in the evening right now. While I was walking going home earlier, I kept looking at the skies and found so many stars! They are so pretty, and surprisingly, I saw a shooting star. Hehe! Yep, I closed my eyes and immediately made a wish...

Anyway! Hays... I feel so worn out right now! My legs hurt as well as my arms. I went home with a heavy chest because I had a long day at school even after class because we did our first role-play rehearsal with my teammates. Speaking of that, I really don't have a choice anymore but to be with Bin. Errr! But you know, I'm glad that during our practice earlier at the gymnasium, Bin's girlfriend wasn't there... Uhmm, it's not that I am being so bitter. However, I want to keep myself from seeing them together as much as I could. I don't want to hurt myself anymore. I don't want to go back to those days that I was so down because I see them being so sweet to each other. Bin who's so caring to her. All of his attention was on her... I don't want to be jealous of her anymore! I just want to enjoy my freshman days with Minjung or my other classmates. Maybe this is the new normal for me now that Bin is no longer by my side. Ahhrg!

This time, I was really planning not to write dramatic stories again for you, diary... But I can't escape it, especially to what happened earlier with our rehearsal... Huhuhuhu! In the first scene, I know I seemed really awkward, but I eventually get comfortable after the following scenes because we were laughing so hard during my scene with my two classmates who acted as court ladies. Their roles really fit them well, and it was so hilarious everytime they call me "Ye, Mama". Hahaha! Until now I find it so funny...

Uhmmm... But not until Bin and I did the part where he will pretend he was sleeping above the opened book in one of the tables in Gyujanggak-- the royal library of the Joseon Dynasty. Then I tiptoed while walking closer to him and watched closely at his face while sleeping... Grrrr! I was really hesitant at first, but I collected all my strength to do it since our teammates were looking at us doing the scene. Good thing that I was able to manage it, but huhuhu! I was really stunned when he abruptly opened his eyes and took my wrist... Ahhh!!! If you could only hear how my heart beats so fast at that moment, diary... Huhuhuhu! Though I knew so well that that's the flow of our scene, it's still got me startled. I know Bin saw how my face became crimson red, but I really hope he won't give meaning to it! Haysss...

Tomorrow, we will have another rehearsal again after class... Hays, can I really do the acting well on Friday? Huhuhu! I am so worried, diary...

By the way, Bin asked me a hilarious question when we took a quick break from the rehearsal. I really don't know if I should laugh about it, or I will be pissed because he's acting weird towards me again? Out of the blue, while I was drinking water, he took a seat beside me on the gymnasium's bench... He cleared his throat at first. I don't know, but he looks hesitant to utter a word. Duhhh! Without looking at me, he asked me "Did someone really give you a love letter?" Huh!!! Wow, I was not really expecting it... Why would he care? It got me more pissed because at first, I thought he was serious... But then, he stood up and patted my head while saying "Don't be too ahead of yourself, jageun tokki! Maybe that person is blind. Geez!" Wow! I really gritted my teeth when he turned his back of me out of anger! Ahhh! I hate you, Bin!!! And how dare him calling me jageun tokki again? Huh? Well, that's what he calls me everytime he teases me before... Jageun tokki means "tiny bunny". Duhhh! I don't need his comment or any advice regarding the love letter I received... Hmmmp!

Whoever that person is, I will get to know him! After Bin told me that, it gave me the courage to respond to the letter... Well, I will write the letter tonight! Grrrr! I will make sure to prove to Bin that he's wrong. That there's someone who liked me and admired me as well! That I deserve to receive a love letter like the other pretty girls out there! I will also prove to you, Bin that my world doesn't revolve around you anymore! I'm moving on, and I will totally get over with you, Bin! Watch out for the times I won't talk about you with my eomma, with Minjung and here, not writing your name here in my diary anymore!

Oh! I remembered his birthday gift for me... I won't open that, Bin!!! I will keep it and locked it in my drawer along with that ugly cap I bought for you forever! I hope those things well get lots of dust behind that dark box! Grrrr!

Too much talking about him just making my day and night worst, diary, right?

Anyway... I should start writing now the response letter I will give to the mystery "G.S" boy! Hahaha! Bye for now, diary! Mwuah!

Love,
Yejin