Love, Yejin

February 23, 1997

Dear Diary,

Second day of being Bin's girlfriend... Ehhh!

It's as if I'm still in a good dream, diary, and I don't want to wake up from this dream... It feels so surreal! I still couldn't believe that finally, Bin is now my boyfriend. I feel like my heart is going to burst in every second that I am with him. I couldn't control the beat of my heart, I couldn't control my smiles, my giggles... Haysss! I really couldn't even stay calm everytime I think about the moment he introduces me to his eomma as his girlfriend. Omo! Even thinking about the kiss we shared in his room always makes me smile like a psychopath. Hehehe! Well, particularly for the part where he touched one of my breasts. Hahaha! Omo! That's only our secret, okay? Uhm... To be honest, I'm still quite shy remembering about it. Hahaha! I don't know, but it feels so awkward. Hahaha! It was the first time that someone else touched one of the sensitive parts of my body... Gosh! Why did he have to do it? Hahaha! But I'm not angry about it, diary... It's just that, maybe I wasn't that ready yet to go on that romantic level... It startled me! Hello, we're still too young to do something like that, right? I wanted everything between us to take slowly as time will pass by in our relationship. Maybe Bin just got carried away by his emotions when we kissed. Hihihi! Well, I can't blame him though... I remember when my sachon who already had a lot of kiss experience with her boyfriend, said to me that once you started an intimate kiss, you might expect something happens beyond after that kiss... Omo!

Anyway, let's not think too much about that yet! What important is I'm just so so happy right now! Hehe... I never thought that I would feel this way after knowing Bin's true feelings for me. Though I still have a lot of questions about him and his ex, I think I can ask him about them when the perfect time comes... Right now, what matters is that we know we love each other. We're now finally fully aware of our feelings towards each other... Ohh, that's why some students from our class were too eager to send gifts to their crushes because it's really nice to feel that you're in a relationship with the person you love... Is this how it really feels? Is this how love can make someone go crazy?

Hmmm... Hays! I just got here in my room, diary. I kept rolling, giggling, and kicking my legs and arms in my bed... If you can only see me while writing these words, diary, I bet you would give me a big slap on my shoulders. Hahahaha! I just couldn't take my happiness, diary. I don't know how to explain every detail of what my heart feels right now. I feel like floating in the air above the skies without any wings... Hahaha! I'm really crazy, right? Ehhhhh!

Before, Bin and I were just normal best friends who used to play around and look for each other like a brother and sister, but gosh! I didn't know I would feel more than that towards Bin... I like this feeling so greatly, diary. I don't want this to stop! Hays! It feels so good that it hurts my heart in a very good way.

You know, when I realized I have feelings for him more than a friend, I thought that was just it. I never thought it will go beyond like this... I still can't believe it, diary! I know there are still a lot of things ahead of us, but that doesn't scare me now because I am with the person who loves me. I know the challenges waiting for us won't be easy, especially we're still young and this is so new to me... But with Bin, I know everything will be fine and well, right?

Well, that includes our relationship confession to my parents... Bin and I were together earlier at their house. I stayed there almost the whole day with his eomma, and I also had a talk with her. I asked his eomma about what she said last night. She wanted to talk with my parents about my romantic relationship with my best friend, her son-- Bin... Actually, I'm scared, diary! My appa is overprotective to his girls-- me, my little sister, and my eomma... And I've already told you before how paranoid he's sometimes... I don't know what would be his reaction if he'll know about our relationship. Would he get mad? Huhuhu! Though I don't think we'll have a problem with my eomma because she already knows I like Bin, I cannot foretell what my appa's reaction will be! I can even still remember before, he keeps saying that I am not allowed to date until I'm thirty! Hahaha! My appa is so funny, isn't he? Haysss... So, earlier, I told Bin's eomma about my worries. Bin was also beside me when I was talking to his eomma and I asked her the favor if it's okay to give us enough time before telling my parents about my relationship with Bin.

Hays, as much as I want to shout out to my family that I am already a grown-up girl and already fallen in love with my best friend, but I need to be patient when it comes to my appa. He really doesn't have any idea about this... I know he treats Bin like his own son, but I'm still afraid, diary. What if he won't approve because we're still in high school? What if he won't let me meet Bin anymore after finding out that there's something going on between me and Bin? What if he's not yet ready to see me being with someone going out? Knowing that Bin and I were classmates and we're even neighbors... Ahhhhh! I don't think I can spend a day without seeing Bin, diary... I even don't want to be away from Bin for an hour. It would feel like a punishment for me.

Good thing that Bin's eomma was very understanding... I am very thankful for his eomma! We were seated on their sofa earlier, while we were eating the cheesy tteokkboki she cooked for our afternoon snack... She said to us "It's fine, Yejin-ah, if that's what you want, but you two have to promise me one thing." Bin and I nodded right away to her, and we turned our attention to her. Not long after, his eomma added, "Promise me to always remember your limitations. I know you're both old enough to know what's right or wrong." Of course, we know! Though I'm quite doubtful with Bin... Hahaha! You know what I mean already... Maybe I just need to control him, right? Hays... Knowing Bin, he's sometimes dominant, and he wanted his ways to always be followed. Just like when he took me in front of our gate when I decided to go home earlier... I insisted that he doesn't need to go with me because I was afraid appa will see us, but he really didn't listen. Do you know what he did? Ahhhrg! He snatched a kiss from me JUST in front of our door. Oh my gosh! I even slapped him on his chest and he only laughed at me in silence... I really bit my lower lip to stop my giggles. Uhhg! Hahahaha! Thank god that no one from my family was in our living room, because it was just right behind our main door. Bin even whispered in my ear that he wanted to hug me just super quick, but I glared at him and said that he needed to go back to their house already before my appa might see us... If he will, he might not be able to go out alive from our house. Hahaha! He's so cute because he's pouting like a baby...

You know, diary... I realized there was so much side of Bin that I didn't know yet. I found something new about Bin. Because for so many years, between us, Bin was always the impassive one... But now, even when we're still on the second day of our relationship, I learned a new thing about him and I really liked it... I thought I knew my best friend so well already, but I was wrong. I didn't know he's also soft, and he can do aegyos! Hahaha! But he should only do that to me. Or else, I'm gonna kick his ass so hard! Hahahaha!

Hays! Even though I don't know yet what's going to happen tomorrow, I'm excited to face a new day in my life... Are you happy for me, diary? Ahhh! 

Goodnight, diary! Let's sleep weeeeeell... Mwuah!

Love,
Yejin