Love, Yejin

February 7, 1997

Dear Diary,

Oh my god! I just got here in my room... I am shaking right now! I don't know what to do... I don't know what to feel, diary! Ahhh! 

Bin has gone nuts, diary! Ahhh! Help!

Uhmm, after class, Inna, Minjung, and I went out of school together-- as always... When we arrived in front of the gate, we saw Go Soo smiling standing beside their family car. As expected, he wants to fetch his cousin, Inna, and me... Sometimes, I want to refuse because I don't want them to think that I'm abusing Go Soo's gesture towards me. However, Inna keeps on insisting, and I can't turn her down everytime she tries to show me her aegyo acting...

When we stand near Go Soo, he said "Hi" to me and asked how was our day at school... Of course, I smiled back at him and said "Hello". I was really shy when Inna and Minjung were teasing us at the back, saying we really looked good together. Then, when Go Soo asked if it's okay for me to ride again with them going home, all of our attention was captured when someone suddenly holds my wrist from behind... Even before I could see who that was, I already saw Go Soo's face changed to a troubled one... Ahhrrg!

Yes, it was Bin who holds me... He drags me a few steps away from my friends, especially with Go Soo. Bin looks at me and asked if I was okay... I look at him in surprise, and asked him what he's talking about? I'm not really sure what he's currently doing! Then he asked again, "Did he do something wrong to you?" What? Why would he think that way? I responded to him that Go Soo is my friend, and he's Inna's cousin! 

I can really see Go Soo's worried and confused face... Ahrg! I don't like him to get the wrong idea with me and Bin... Even Minjung and Inna were trying to go closer to me, but everytime they took a single step, Bin drags me farther away from them... I saw Go Soo gulped hard. He's trying his best to talk Bin in a nice way... He said to Bin "I'm sorry, but I think you're having the wrong idea here... But, who are you? Are you Yejin's boyfriend?" Immediately, I shouted "NO!!!" and I tried to release from Bin's holds, but he's not really giving me a chance...

After a few seconds, their family driver went out and asked to Go Soo what's going on... Inna asked for his help, but Go Soo shakes his head at the driver. I kept pushing Bin's arm away from me, but ahhh! I really can't get off from his grip! How come he became so strong? Then their driver said that they need to go home now since Inna's parents are very strict with her curfew...

Go Soo went closer to me and Bin, and said "Let's go, Yej... We'll send you home." Without hesitation and with a heavy voice, Bin said to Go Soo "I will send her home. She's going with me." He then drags me going to where he parked his bicycle. I really pushed him, diary, but he didn't let go of my hand. Huhuhu! I only see Go Soo and Inna getting in their car with worried faces. Ahrg! I really hate Bin!

When their car went off, Bin took his bike... I really don't want to ride with him so I stand still and didn't attempt to move. I said to him what's wrong with him and why he's acting this way. He should mind his own business! But... I froze when he said "You are my business! Hop on at the back! No! Hop on here in front of me!" Whaaat? I just can't believe what's happening, diary... I am so lost! I'm out of words when he said that... When he saw me I didn't even try to move an inch, he pulled my arm and forced me to hop on in front of his bicycle! Ahrggg! Instead of asking him questions again and fire back at him while we're going home, I remained silent because I can feel his chest behind me. His chest was touching at my back! I think there's something wrong with my body because I felt like an electric wire ran through my spinal cords. My god! Huhuhuhu!

When we arrived around our neighborhood, he stopped at the playground and drags me towards the slides. My heart was really beating so fast, diary! Huhuhu! Everytime he asks me before to play at the slides with him, it's either he's happy or he's angry... Of course, he's not happy right now based on his actions. Huhuhu! I don't know but I felt scared, diary...

He placed both of his hands on my shoulder that made me face him. I tried to act stronger. I collected my strength and crossed my arms. I want him to see me I can fight back at him! He's going too far!

After I felt a little confident, I asked him before he could even start talking... I asked him "What's wrong with you, Bin?" Ahhhrg! I really want to hide because I felt my voice slightly cracked when I said that. I saw him clenched his jaw and put his hands on each side of his hips... Then he said, "I don't like to see you hanging out with that stranger boy wearing a black high school uniform!" I showed him an annoying smile... Then I responded "He's my knight in black high school uniform! Why would you care?" He laughed so hard... Grrrr! His face got even more upset and his eyes darkened. Oh my god! It was my first time seeing him that stormy towards me...

What more shocking is... When I can no longer it, I asked him strongly, "Are you jealous?" I felt like my heart was going to burst because he didn't even hesitate and after a second he shouted at me "YES!" right away.

I was out of words... I don't know, but the only thing that my body could react was to ran faster going home. Huhuhu! Whaaaat? He's jealous? Why? Oh my god, diary!!! I am so confused right now! He has a girlfriend! Why would he feel jealous towards Go Soo? Ahhrrrg!!! I'm going crazy... I don't know if I should be happy about this... This is wrong!!!

Love,
Yejin