Love, Yejin

February 12, 1997

Dear Diary,

"When love has run its course, do you go after it or make a run for it?"

If I'll ask you that question, diary, what will you answer to me? Hays... I asked that question to myself, but I can't even answer it for the sake of my peace of mind.

How can I move forward when Bin doesn't want to stay away from me now? Should I keep going, or should I face him? Huhuhu! I badly want to make an end with the feelings I have for Bin, diary...

You know what, earlier at dawn after writing for you, I only slept for three hours. I really had a hard time sleeping because I kept thinking about what happened last night... No matter how I try to close my eyes, his lips moving above mine still keeps on flashing on my mind... Huhuhu!

I also didn't want to attend school earlier because aside from I don't have enough sleep, I also don't want to see Bin... My gosh! How could I even face him? I immediately ran going home after I was able to get off from his holds. I'm sure he will laugh at me... For sure, he will tease me for being afraid of having my first kiss. Huhuhuh! Knowing him, for sure he'll bully me again...

Yes, I won't deny that I liked having the thought of I got my first kiss with the person I love... But, I didn't want it to happen that way! I was not prepared! Huhuhuhu! He should've asked me first, right? Ahhhh! Hyun Bin!!! I really hate you!!!

Also, I really don't know if what we did was right, diary. I'm not even sure if what he did has a meaning for him... Did he just do it because he was trying to prove something to me? Was he trying to act cool? Proving to me that he can have control of me? Ahhhh!!! Huhuhuhu! It would've been okay for me at that time if he has feelings for me... If he likes me, then I would probably give him the kiss he wanted. Even if he'll ask me to kiss him for an hour or two... Omo omo omo! An hour or two? Oh my god!!! Yejin are you crazy? How could I even say that? Ahhhh!!! My gosh, I felt like my ears are burning right now!!! Help!!!

Anyway, let's change the topic... Hmmm!

So... During our whole class earlier, I really tried to open my eyes and listen to our teacher. But, huhuhuuhu! My eyes really wanted to shut off... and you know what happened? My teacher saw me almost leaning my head to my seatmate's shoulder with eyes closed!!! Ahhh! That was so embarrassing! My other classmates were laughing at me, and they even said that I was drooling!!! Huhuhu! That's not true!!! I instantly bowed down my head and covered my face out of shame... Huhuhu! I really wanted to be eaten up by the floor at that moment...

Good thing that... Hmmm, Bin stood up and went closer to my teacher's table. I saw him talking to her in a very low voice... All of us couldn't hear him even my classmates who were sitting in the first row. Well, I don't know what he told our teacher, but the next thing I knew, I saw him walking towards me, and he took my bag the moment he stood beside my chair. Then, he grabbed my wrist, forcing me to get up, and said... "Let's go now, palli!"

Thinking that he was trying to save me, I stood up and followed him... While we were walking after we got out of the classroom, he still didn't let go of my hand and I keep on asking him where we were going... He even left his bag and he only took mine.

You know where did he bring me? We arrived at our school field... He seated at the bleachers and puts my bag above his thighs. I was really confused about what we were doing there, so I curved my eyebrows looking at him. I was waiting for him to say something, but he only tapped my bag with his face looking straight at the field...

"I still have two hours before our baseball game... C'mon and lay down, so you can sleep!" He said that, and it made me hold my breaths for a moment. Oh, I remembered that today was their baseball game where he asked me that he wants me to bring a banner for him... But, like, what? Did he just take me there because he wanted me to sleep? ABOVE HIS THIGHS? Wow, that is so sweet... But, no, thanks! Hmmmp!!! What if other students see us? What will they think? Me? Flirting with him inside our campus? Noooo! And to think that he just broke up with Kyo (well, I don't know if what he said to me is true though) but, ahhhrg! I don't want to sleep with him... No, I mean, I don't want to rest my head above his thighs...