Catch Me Before I Fall (A Phanfiction)

Chapter 21

*Dan's POV*

A week has gone by and Phil still won't talk to me, I try to start conversations with him but he usually just nods or gives one word responses and then leaves, I really missed him. Peter was out of the hospital and was doing better now, he was back at school and so was Phil but he would occasionally skip classes, I guess it was to avoid talking to me. Phil still sat next to me in math class since there was no other seat available but he didn't talk to me, everyone was confused and wondering why we aren't speaking anymore. There was about a few minutes before the bell rang and class would be over, I was putting everything into my bag when I accidentally elbowed Phil "I'm so sorry" I said quickly "Its okay.." He said quietly, as soon as the bell rang he rushed out of the class and left, I sighed and got out of my seat. I walked up to Peter "Where's Phil going? He said he had to leave early" Peter asked "He has his session this afternoon, that's probably why" I said quietly. Peter looked at me with sorry eyes, he knew how much it hurt me that we aren't talking, he wouldn't even hang out with Peter, I think its because of me but even when I'm not around he still won't speak to him much.

"I knew you two wouldn't last, looks like Phil finally saw through you" an unpleasant voice said, it was Zoe "I'm not in the mood for your bullshit" I said calmly. "Ever since you came here you've caused nothing but trouble, Phil has been nothing but depressed, he won't even speak to me anymore and even Hunter broke up with me" she said coldly. "I broke up with you because you're a self-centered bitch" Hunter said walking up to us "Says the guy who spent the past month bullying this loser and other people" she spat "I'm done with my bullying days, and I'm done with you. Why don't you just drop this Zoe before it gets serious" Hunter has changed a lot he's much nicer now and sticks up for us. "I am not dropping this, its all his fault, he ruined everything he ruined my friendship with Phil" I couldn't take it anymore "Your friendship with Phil got ruined because of you Zoe. You're too obsessed about yourself that you couldn't see that Phil wasn't well" I left before she could say anything else, I really didn't want to have to deal with her today or ever, I can only take so much, in a way she was right, Phil was so much happier before I came into his life. "Don't listen to her dude, she's crazy" Peter said coming after me "She has a point, Phil was so much happier before I came into his life" I sighed. "Dan, his life was hell. You saved him from Ben, your dad is working on getting his father out of prison, that wouldn't have happened without you" I sat onto the ground and Peter sat next to me "He just needs time, he's going through a lot, things will go back to normal soon" he assured me, I gave him a small smile but couldn't stop the tears in my eyes I put my face in my hands and just sat there. "I still have that embarrassing recording of you and Phil, I will play it for everyone to hear it if you don't stop crying" he nudged me laughing, I couldn't help but laugh back, I'm glad Peter is my friend, besides Phil I don't really trust anyone and no one really understands me in this school besides these two.

*Phil's POV*

I left school early, I had a session today but I didn't want to go instead I decided to go for a long walk. I looked at the time it was 2 in the afternoon, my session was like 15 minutes ago, oh well no point in going now. I kept walking and thinking, I walked for a good 15 minutes. I haven't spoken to Dan in over a week, I wanted to but I didn't know what to say, I haven't really talked to anyone not even Peter, I talked to Dan's parents a bit and I visited my dad twice this week. How much longer can I hold on, I still want to get out of this I want to end the pain. I didn't know where I was walking, I looked up and say the bridge from a few days ago, maybe it's faith? Maybe its life telling me that today is the day to end everything. I stood at the edge of the bridge and took a deep breath, its for the best, everyone will understand, they'll know why I did it and hopefully they'll get over it quickly. All I could think of was Dan, he will understand, he deserves everything good in life and I'm no good for him, I hurt him he cut because of me. This is it. I took a deep breath again, okay, at the count of three, 1....2... Before I could move a muscle I was pulled back "Phil!? What are you doing!?" It was Dan's father "I..I..how did you find me?" I stuttered "Your therapist called saying you didn't show up. I assumed you went to see your father. Where you going to jump?" He looked scared. "N-no I wasn't. I-I was just standing I needed to walk" I lied, I couldn't tell him what I was going to do, he didn't seem to believe me either. "Your therapist wants me to bring you over, come on" he said quietly, I felt guilty, I should've just ended it sooner so he didn't have to experience that. I walked over to his car and he drove me to the hospital "You go for your session, I'll wait here" I looked him and nodded he looked so sad. "Mr. Howell I'm sorry if I worried you" I said "Why would you try something so dangerous Phil?" He looked pained I didn't know what to say "I-I just needed a walk, I-I was just standing there staring at the water" he sighed and I quietly went to the therapists office.

"Ah Phil I was wondering where you" she said smiling at me "I went for a walk" I answered blankly "a walk?" She raised her eyebrow. "A walk to the bridge, I wanted to jump and just end it" I finally said. "But you didn't do it" she said pulling out her pen and paper "Mr. Howell found me and pulled me back before I could. I should've just done it a few days ago" I said angrily. "You didn't do it last time either, why?" She asked me, what kind of question is that what is she trying to get out of me "Because it wasn't the right time to do it" I said but she stared at me "Phil what's the real reason?" I stood up "What do you mean? It was the right time! That's my fucking reason" I was really angry. "Phil, please sit down and take a deep breath and relax" I was out of line I shouldn't have shouted so I sat back down "Now tell me why didn't you do it?" She said calmly "I-I don't know, I was ready but something inside me stopped me. All I could think of was Dan" I started tearing up "I-I already hurt him so much emotionally, he has done so much and I was awful to him, he's better off without me, I'm better off dead but when I think of him I-I can't do it" she stared at me before writing something down again. "Sounds like you really love Dan, I think he's giving you the strength to get through this" she smiled "The way I shouted at him, he tries to talk to me but I don't know what to say" I cried. "Phil try talking to Dan, clear things, I know he will understand. His mother told me that he misses you a lot" she said sweetly. "I'm just better off dead" I muttered "Phil that's what you think, maybe not talking to Dan is making you feel this way, please take my advice and talk to him" Maybe she has a point, I do believe I'm better off dead but maybe I should talk to Dan, I really missed him, I missed hanging out with him, I missed talking to him, I missed cuddling him when I couldn't sleep or him coming to my room when he couldn't sleep,I missed loving him, I missed everything. "I'm afraid this is all the time I have today, please take my advice and I will see you next week" she smiled and I nodded. Dan's Dad was waiting for me outside "How did that go?" He asked me "It was okay. Mr. Howell I really am sorry for worrying you" I said I had tears in my eyes, he put his hand on my shoulder and gave me a small smile. I thought about what the therapist said to me, maybe I should speak to Dan. "I have a meeting to go to, but I'll drop you home first" his dad said and I nodded. I pulled out my phone I need to do this "hey..where are you?" I nervously texted "uh, i'm on my way home.." he texted back a couple of minutes later "Ok good, same. I need to talk to you".