Catch Me Before I Fall (A Phanfiction)

Chapter 23

*Dan's POV*

I slept okay last night, at first I was wide awake but when Phil came into my room I felt calm. Sure our conversation wasn't the best conversation but that moment when he held me I felt calm, I can't let Phil go through with this, I know a part of him doesn't want to do it and I will do whatever it takes to help him get through it.

I opened my eyes and Phil was still asleep his arm was loosely still wrapped around me, he looked so peaceful, I moved his hair from his eyes and kissed his forehead. He opened his eyes "Sorry I didn't mean to wake you" I said quietly "Its okay" he yawned, I leaned in and kissed him softly he gave me a small smile. I just remembered, its Phil's birthday well its a good thing that I prepared before time and got a present for him. We got up and freshened up "Where are your parents?" He asked me "Oh dad had to go out of town, its for the case he said he'll be back within 2 or 3 days he wants to finish up this part so he doesn't have to worry about going back and forth and mum went with him" I explained and he nodded. We headed downstairs and I made breakfast for the both of us "you don't have to do that Dan" he said to me "No its okay I want to" I smiled at him, he still looked so upset, what else could I do. I was chopping things when Phil opened up the knife drawer "What are you doing!?" I asked him "I'm going to help you" he said but I closed the drawer and kissed his forehead "No I'll do it its fine really" he gave me an odd look, maybe I overreacted but I was just looking out for him. After breakfast Phil got up and washed his plate "Is it okay if I go out for a bit? Like for a walk?" He asked "Yeah, do you want me to come with you?"  I didn't want him going alone I was scared "No its okay I'll go myself" he said "Phil.." I was worried "Dan, it'll be only half hour I promise don't worry" he reassured me and I nodded, was this a bad idea?

After Phil left I went upstairs to his room, I pulled out the gift I got for him; it was a frame with a collage of pictures of us, I know its cheesy but I didn't know what else to get. I wrapped it up and put in the gift bag and waited for Phil to come home. I sat on my bed playing games on my phone for about 40 minutes before I heard the front door open, he's home.

*Phil's POV*

I felt awful for lying to Dan but if he knew why I needed to go out he would've stopped me. I looked at the bottle in the bag I was carrying  I'm 18 now so I can buy alcohol without anyone questioning me. Although the guy seemed concerned he asked me if I was sure since its really really strong and I lied saying its not for me its for some adult party  I know I'm a horrible liar. I opened the front door and quickly went up to my room and hid the bottle. "Phil??" I heard Dan call and I went outside, he instantly smiled seeing me"What's up? You seem excited" I asked and he grabbed my hand and told me to close my eyes and follow him he guided me when I opened my eyes he was standing in front of me holding a gift bag and smiling "Happy Birthday!!" I didn't know what to say "Y-you remember?" I asked him and he laughed "Of course silly! You're my boyfriend how could I forget" I gave him a small smile, but its not supposed to be like this. I opened the present it was a beautiful collage that was framed, I had tears in my eyes "Do you like it?" He smiled, I sighed "Dan.." His smile instantly faded "You don't like it.." I felt bad but this is not how things are "Its not that Dan, its just..this is not how things are supposed to be. I know what you're trying to do" I said, he looked hurt "I'm just trying to make you happy" he had tears in his eyes now "Dan, I love you, but I'm not changing my mind" tears fell down his face, I reached up to wipe them away but he walked away into his room. I went to my room and put the frame face down onto the table, I sat and cried, I keep hurting him he was only trying to make me.happy but I hurt him, I am better off dead.

I opened up the side table and pulled out the bottle and opened it, if I'm going to do this I need the courage to not back out, the smell was so strong. I took a sip it tasted awful and burned my throat but it made me relax it felt good, I took  a few more sips, this stuff was strong but I needed it. I stumbled out of my room bumping into thr walls I carefully walked downstairs. "Phil? Where are you going?" It was Dan, crap. "Uh..I-Im going to go for a walk" I tried my best to speak clearly "Are you drunk!?" He asked me "N-no I'm not, I just have to go now Dan" he got the message, he looked scared he walked up to me and put his arms around "Please don't leave me Phil" he sobbed I tried moving back but he held me tighter "Dan, dont please" I said quietly "I-Im scared Phil, please don't leave, I love you so much" I felt guilty but I had to do it "I have to go, bye Dan" But Dan instantly hugged me even harder, I have to do this but how can I. I gave in "Okay, I'm here" Dan's eyes were red and puffy, he looked broken, scared exhausted, I took him upstairs to my room where we layed down, he had his arms around me and I stroked his cheek until he fell asleep, this is my time now I thought. I carefully pulled out my bottle and took one last sip before putting it away I got up careful not to wake him "I'm sorry Dan, I love you so much" I whispered kissing his forehead softly and left, this is it, no turning back now.