Fated to Hate You

Chapter 38: Chicken nuggets= my favorite food ever

Nervously, I raised my hand and knocked on his door. There was no response at first, so I knocked again, and sure enough, I heard footsteps coming from upstairs. I also could've sworn I heard the person stumble.

They shouted "Coming!"

I smoothed down the skirt I was wearing and prayed I looked presentable. I know what I'm about to do will have serious repercussions, but hey, at least I'll look cute doing it.

Kidding! (In case you can't tell, I use humor and sarcasm as my coping mechanism). I'm secretly dying inside from nerves of what I'm about to tell this boy.

Right as I was about to knock again, the boy came tumbling down the stairs and ripped open the front door, a little out of breath. "Hey, sorry about that. I was playing a video game and didn't hear anyone knocking at first. Come in."

His hair was slightly disheveled, like he kept running this hands through it. He was also only wearing pair of sweats and a navy blue t-shirt, both facts I chose to ignore.

He stepped to the side so I could come in and take my shoes off. I made sure to set them on the rack in a neat fashion, part of me trying to stall the inevitable. "Why'd you come see me?" he asked, handing me a cup of warm jasmine tea.

I thanked him and took the cup as he led me to the kitchen table where we sat facing each other.

"So,"

"So,"

"You can go first," he gestured to me.

"Okay, uhm, I guess I should get straight to the point. What I came here to tell you is that I've made up my mind."

I saw his eyes widen slightly and his Adam's apple bob up and down.

"Well, there's no easy way to say this Scottie, but I've come to realize that the way I feel towards you has changed. Know that I still love you, and trust me when I say hurting you is the absolute last thing I want to do, but I've also realized that my love for you isn't the same as it used to be."

"Falling for Parker made me realize that I only loved you because of this image I had idolized in my head of you being the perfect first crush. I never bothered to get to know the real you, but once I did, I liked it, so I just kept going with my crush."

"What I didn't realize until we started dating was that I only loved you as a friend. At first, I really did like you, but spending this last month apart made me realize that I only liked you as a friend. I just had this idealized vision in my head of how I would get my first boyfriend, partly caused by all the romance books I read, and couldn't see what was right in front of my face."

"I really am sorry and I hope you know that I completely understand if you hate me and never want to talk to me again. I don't deserve your forgiveness."

I shoved my head in my hands and ran them through my hair, trying to ease the sense of panic and guilt I felt. It obviously didn't work.

"Blaze?"

I looked up to see Scottie looking at me, and the strange thing is, is that he doesn't look mad. In fact, he looks almost calm. Strange.

"Yeah?" I sniffled, wiping the stray tears off my face.

"First off, I could never hate you, and second off, I'm not mad at you. I understand that you can't control your feelings and stuff happens. Yeah, sure it sucks, but this month apart has also given me some time to think."

"I think what I felt for you was a crush, and just that. I always thought you were the prettiest girl in our grade, but didn't want to say anything because of Parker. I was nervous around you, because I wasn't used to being around someone so pretty. I think I was distracted by the physical aspect of the relationship, and not the emotional aspect."