TW: Self harm/drugs/cussing
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It's been a week since I was released from the hospital. There's a weird atmosphere around everyone's kinda been avoiding me even Ryan-- Oh that's just great for my depression isn't it. I knew if they knew one thing about my past they would just forget me and be scared of me. I don't blame them but they all made it seem like they would never leave me.
No mom...No dad... no family...no friends.... no...no me--- yeah no me. I walked to the bathroom that was in my room and found a razor. I sat down on the toilet and sliced... I felt calm. I kept slicing over and over again. When I was done I just watched the blood drip down my arm and onto the floor.
After I cleaned up everything I decided I haven't smoked in a minute. I rampaged my suitcase and found one of my secret compartments that had a pack ready--- I crawled out the window and sat on the ledge while lighting it. When I was done I realized I was hungry... I've been living off water and cereal bars for the past week and a half.
I lazily pulled on sum grey joggers that hung low on my waist. I decided what's the point of a shirt if I'm just getting food and locking myself in my room again. I walked downstairs and the first thing I saw that made me pissed was everyone smiling, cuddling and being all buddy buddy on the couch. the atmosphere changed and I realized I was the one who ruined their.. perfectness.
My face fell but I quickly changed it hoping no one saw but of course Reese did. He frowned but I scoffed out loud when he did-- I looked away from Reese and realized they all had a frown on their faces. Their expressions were switching between hopeful,sad,guilty, and lust. I rolled my eyes internally at all of them and walked to the kitchen. As soon as I got into the kitchen my facade fell and tears threatened to fall.
WHat the fuck is wrong with me.... we were never friends I don't like any of the and i'm stra--. I heard someone two pairs of footsteps come into the kitchen. I lifted my walls back up and went back to finding food. I heard Jay sigh as if he felt my walls go back up- not that they were ever down but they all knocked down a few pebbles. Him and Justin walked towards me.
I had my lips in a straight line and my eyes showed no emotion as I backed up. I felt two pairs of arms around me. I went stiff for a moment but relaxed into their hold.. the tears I was holding finally dropped and I was silently crying. I didn't realize how much I miss them. I came to my senses and realized that this is their fucking fault they stopped trying.. they failed me.
"No" I whispered. They didn't say anything. I pushed them both off my and turned towards them with tears still flowing down my face. I glared at them through the tears but my frown was making it weak. "were all sorry Kai" , "FUCK YOUR SORRY'S" I sobbed/yelled out "YOU WEREN'T APOLOGIZING WHEN I WAS IN MY ROOM STARVING AND CUTTING MYSELF feeling lonely as fuck for a damn week" I whipered the last part not having the energy to yell at them anymore.
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My apologies for not updating but I'm back lovelies.. and do you think he should forgive them? do you think they have a reason for 'forgetting about him'
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Perdóname
RomanceKaiden black was sent to a institution after his mother passed. His plan was to be a dick and get close to no one. Not only because no one would stay if they figured out the trauma from his past but he didn't like people. Does he succeed? Does he fa...
