"Sacrifice" II JIHAN II

1:2

~Cause baby after all this time we'll meet again, with time to spend~

~Cause baby after all this time~

~Would you be mine?~

~Cause I'd drop it all just to get you~

"Nice song, did you compose it?" Joshua got startled upon hearing someone said that

"oh, it's just you, hoshi"

"Why? are you expecting someone?"

"No. I just don't want anyone to hear it, plus It's still not done yet"

"Who's it for?"

"what?"

"The song, who's it for?"

"It's actually for no one. I just got the felling of composing a song today" hoshi just hummed in response 

"Oh btw, How's things going on with jeonghan?"

Joshua took a deep breath before answering

"*sigh* Still no progress..."

"But didn't you two just hang out the other day? Did something bad happen?"

"hah...I couldn't focus that day because he kept on talking about seungcheol..."

"huh?...Why?"

"Well, he likes seungcheol..." joshua felt a little ache in his chest after saying those words

"Seungcheol?! but doesn't he know that jihoon and seungcheol is already in a relationship?!"

"Jihoon and seungheol?! How come they didn't tell me?" Joshua and jihoon are really good friends, same with seungcheol that's why when he knew that jeonghan liked seungcheol he planned to give up on his feelings for jeonghan because he doesn't want to ruin their friendship

There was a moment of silence, both of them are thinking about what they just talked about until joshua ran to the bathroom and because of that hoshi also ran behind him, joshua really felt pain all over his body that made him collapse at the bathroom that made hoshi panic but good thing that mingyu wasn't home or else, he would've already found about joshua's disease and you know mingyu, his really a dramatic person

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jeonghan is now panicking...
Because he isn't sure if he wants to confess to seungcheol or not, cause if he did he might get rejected  and lose their friendship and if he didn't, it might hunt him day and night.

Jeonghan is now all messed up so he decided on talking to joshua first before he confess to seungcheol

Jeonghan is now looking for joshua since they are in the same class.
After searching the whole room, he finally saw the person he was looking for

"Joshua!" 

joshua and hoshi heard jeonghan but joshua said to just ignore him and go out for a moment since class hasn't started yet

"Why do you want to ignore him?"

"I just don't feel like talking to him right now"

"If you say so"

The two of them left the room leaving jeonghan hanging there
and jeonghan really wanted to talk to joshua so he followed the two and left the room, but he was surprised to see seungcheol and jihoon almost kissed  and joshua and hoshi saw the same then joshua's attention diverted to jeonghan who is now frozen on the other side but he saw jeonghan's eyes, a tear is almost falling and since jeonghan is still his best friend, he didn't want to see him hurting.

Joshua ran between seungcheol and jihoon that made them stop in what they were about to do

"oh, sorry, didn't see you guys there" 

Joshua grabbed jeonghan's hand then ran to the rooftop

There was silence and nobody dared to talk until joshua saw jeonghan stopping his tears from falling, that made joshua's heart more painful, he didn't want to see jeonghan like this...

"Stop it" jeonghan looked confused about what the younger said

"I said stop trying to stop your tears! You know that you can just let it all out!"

Jeonghan was in shock to see how joshua shouted at him but he knew that joshua was just concerned about him

"I'm happy you talked to me..." joshua froze in those sudden words, he just remembered how he wanted to ignore jeonghan this morning but he can't do it

"Yeah..." joshua didn't want an awkward atmosphere  so he just hugged jeonghan and told him to just let it all out then jeonghan started crying real hard

"W-why?...Why does it have to be another person...! What missing in me? Why can't it be just me?" jeonghan said while sobbing

Joshua thought of the same way when jeonghan told him that he liked seungcheol and ever since that day, those question also run across his mind, day and night, that questions never leave joshua's head

He just patted jeonghan's head in response 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They stayed there until 5 pm and since school will be closing in 5:30 pm, they decided to leave and go back to their places

"Thanks..." 

"For what?

"For your help today, I know you did it on purpose"

"Did what?"

"when you ran between seungcheol and jihoon, I know you did that so they could stop what they were about to do"

"oh..."

"I'm really glad you did that..."
"And I'm glad we get to talk like this again"

"Right..."

Jeonghan stopped that made joshua stop as well

"Tell me, what's wrong with you this past few days?"

"There's nothing wrong"

"I know there is"

"It's really nothing"

"Just tell me-"

"I like you!"

Jeonghan was speechless on what the younger just said

"Wh-what?"

joshua is now panicking inside his head but thought that there's no sense in hiding it anymore, right? I still don't have a chance even if I told him or not

He just back hugged jeonghan because he couldn't bare to see his face while confessing to him and he knew that there was no chance for them, joshua was afraid to see the rejection in jeonghan's face

"You see...you remember how I call you the angel back when we we're in middle school?"

Jeonghan just nodded in response

"well, ever since that day, you were my angel, My love, and my one and only"
"every time we spend together was already paradise for me but you know what I thought when we started hanging out 2 weeks ago, when you confessed to me how you like seungcheol, my paradise with you suddenly got destroyed, and since that day you only kept on talking about him like I'm sort of invisible to you, my feelings were invisible to you but I still didn't get the courage to say no when you wanted to hangout even though I know that I will only get hurt and I know that  you only wanted to see me because something good or bad happen between you and seungcheol. Am I really just an extra for you?"

Jeonghan was speechless again when he heard how joshua felt when they hanged out this past few days, and realized that his problem was...me

"I-"

Jeonghan didn't get to finish because Joshua already left without saying a word

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joshua ran as fast as he could to get away from jeonghan, he can't believe that he just spilled his secret to jeonghan

but joshua also felt more emptier inside, it felt like a part of him is already been gone because he knows that they won't be like the old times again because of todays incident

It felt like he already lost not only jeonghan but also their friendship that he also treasured the most

'To be with you only happen in my dreams' 'To be with you is like a dream that I can't reach nor hold'