"Sacrifice" II JIHAN II

6:2

~With Joshua~

Joshua was trying to stop himself from looking back at jeonghan, he knew that once he looked back, he might just start crying again and it might  make it more harder for him to leave

Unknowingly, Joshua's tears started falling again and felt like, now, he can just let go of all of his tears that he kept this past few years of loving, Jeonghan...

The truth was...Joshua didn't took the surgery and faked his personality in front of his friends, one of the doctors in the hospital that Joshua go to is his uncle and he had asked if Joshua was really sure if he really wants to end all the feelings for Jeonghan, he warned him that he might regret his decisions, especially all of their memories and that person will be forgotten by him which made Joshua cry that time, even if he was really suffering, he couldn't just let go of their memories together, he can't still give him up, he still can't make a decision that time, all that he remembered of jeonghan was that he was his angel, an angel that hurted him also, an angel that can never be his, an angel that only saw him as a bestfriend, an angel that didn't see my feelings through out this years of being by his side

But Joshua still picked him even if the pain still remains inside him, a pain that is a symbol of his love for Jeonghan...

"A Long Lasting Love for my Bestfriend only"

All the boys entered seungcheol and Jeonghan's dorm with a crying face and a gloomy aura, a few seconds after they entered, the rain started pouring outside that made them look at it at the same time

They watched the rain pour, even if how hard they look into it, they feel like the world was also crying with them in this time of day.

"Why does he have to leave..." Jeonghan whispered to himself which Hoshi heard and made him burst, he couldn't take it anymore and wanted to let all of his anger out, even if Jeonghan was older than him, he didn't let that stop him anymore

"Why don't you ask yourself!" Hoshi shouted that made everyone in the room look at him with a questioning look

"Hoshi hyung, what are you talking about?" Jihoon asked

"What do you mean Hoshi-ah...?" Jeonghan asked the younger one in front of him

"Don't ask me that bullshit kind of question, hyung" Hoshi really said that curse the loudest

"Hoshi!" Seungcheol shouted after hearing him curse in front of someone older than him

Seungcheol was about to scold him more but Jeonghan signed him to stop then looked at Hoshi in the eyes, he saw Hoshi's eyes with anger, sadness, and most of all his tears falling every time he looked at Jeonghan

"Hoshi calm down-" Jeonghan said while patting both his shoulders but Hoshi immediately removed Jeonghan's hands on his shoulder, as of all of you know, Hoshi really likes jeonghan, but not in a romantic way, he liked him as his hyung and they were really close, but after seeing Joshua suffer everyday because of him, he doesn't know anymore if he can still like him as his hyung, everyday that Jeonghan hurts Joshua, Hoshi was also hurting, his hyung that didn't do anything but love them, is the only one that's getting hurt by loving

"Calm down? How can I calm down?! Don't you know what kind of pain that he felt every time he sees you happy with the person you like??? Do you know how much pain he felt every time he vomits flowers and hide in his hurting feelings in a smile?!! Don't you know that it was hard for us who knew about it, seeing him smile in front of the person hurting him?!" hoshi burst out because he couldn't take it anymore. all the boys looked at hoshi with a confused face except DK, Mingyu, and Wonwoo

 "V-vomit flowers...? W-what are you t-talking about Hoshi-yah" jeonghan asked Hoshi while Hoshi was also shocked himself, he didn't knew that he said those words out loud, he was too angry that he didn't heard what he said 

 "I-I It's nothing" hoshi was about to leave the room to avoid more questions but jeonghan pulled his arm before he could leave

"Tell me!" Jeonghan insisted 

"I said it's none of your business" Hoshi said while looking back at Jeonghan who was gripping on his wrist

"you didn't say none of your business, you only said it's nothing" Seungkwan said out of the blue which made everyone look at him with a 'really?' kind of look on their faces

"What? I just informed him" Seungkwan explained

While the boys were distracted by seungkwan, Hoshi tried to escape from Jeonghan's grip but it was to strong so he couldn't really escape from it which made the older look at him directly

"It's not 'none of my business', hoshi. I know I'm part of this matter so Tell.Me.Right.Now!" Jeonghan was starting to get really annoyed and angry at how Hoshi was avoiding the question

Jeonghan started gripping onto Hoshi's wrist a bit harder than before which made Hoshi wince in pain, it made all the boys stop talking and focused on the two boys at the corner. Seungcheol didn't do anything about what Jeonghan was doing with Hoshi's wrist, he too, wanted to know what Hoshi was hiding. After  a few minutes of silence, DK finally spoke up, he didn't like seeing his hyungs fighting each other

"Hoshi, Please just tell them..." DK pleaded which made everyone in the room look at him now.

Their eyes instantly glanced at Hoshi who was also looking at DK and feels like they were talking with their eyes. Afterwards, Hoshi gave up and started calming himself down

"Fine, I-I'll speak..." 

'Finally!'  Everyone thought after hearing Hoshi say those words

They all calmed down and seated at the couch while Hoshi was on the floor in the middle

"Now, please explain Hoshi-ah"  Jeonghan said

Hoshi sighed  at Jeonghan before speaking

"Firstly, I'm sorry for cursing at you hyung" Hoshi started which Jeonghan just nodded at

"Secondly, what I meant by what I said before w-was...J-joshua hyung actually has this disease called Hanahaki Disease..." Hoshi finally spilled the tea, leaving the others speechless at what they just heard

"W-what's that?" Jeonghan asked, even though he didn't knew the disease, he still felt really nervous

"It's a kind of disease where, a person has a one-sided love...which means that the person he likes doesn't like him back in a romantic way..." Hoshi explained

"You know who it is, right Jeonghan hyung?" DK asked

"S-so, I-It was a-all my f-fault(?)..." Jeonghan said with a cracking voice. He didn't expect that he was the reason why his bestfriend was suffering all this time without him noticing it

"I-I feel so useless...*sobbing* I didn't even notice it even though he was always by my side, I didn't even know about him suffering by my side all this time...Am I really that failure of a friend?" Jeonghan's tears started flowing out again. His friends just stayed there and watched him as he cry, Hoshi couldn't really bare seeing his hyungs cry so he immediately hugged him while tears also start falling from his eyes, he couldn't really blame Jeonghan for what happened, it wasn't his fault that he was the one Joshua loved so Hoshi can't really put the blame on anyone. 

'Love really is Hard. It's hard to Find, to love, and to be loved'

T.B.C