~Friday Morning~
'Should I go or not?' 'What if he feel more uncomfortable when he sees me?'Joshua is really worrying about how jeonghan will react if he sees him
"Joshua hyung!!!" Hoshi shouted
"I'll be right there!"
They left their dorm to get to their classes, and to his surprise, joshua's next class is with jeonghan "*sigh* why so early in the morning?"
"Is something wrong hyung?" Mingyu asked, ever since yesterday, mingyu and DK kept on watching over joshua and joshua was happy that they were concerned but he also felt uncomfortable because they wouldn't leave joshua alone even when going to bed, they were just watching him until he falls a sleep
'*sigh* you got this joshua!!'
After gaining some confidence, DK, Mingyu, and Hoshi decided to escort joshua to his room.
Joshua's mood was still good, until he entered the room and he didn't really like what he saw and just wanted to imagine that he didn't see anything that time, but, that kind of scene really felt like his heart broke even more. 'I see...so his more happier with someone else...' 'Looks like I expected to much for today...'
'Seeing you smiling happily really is nice... I just wished that it was me your smiling with'
Joshua couldn't bare seeing them like that anymore so he ran outside, to their spot at the park, where only the two of them know, the place where is special for the both of them.
He shouted all of his feelings out like there's no tomorrow, 'WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE HIM?!!' 'WHY CAN'T IT BE ME?!!!' 'AM I NOT ENOUGH???' 'IS THERE SOMETHING MISSING IN ME???' 'DO I NOT FIT YOUR TASTE?' ' WHY DO YOU ALWAYS IGNORE MY FEELINGS EVEN THOUGH I ALREADY EXPRESSED IT A MILLION TIMES???' ' IS IT BECAUSE YOUHAVE HIM?' 'IS HE MORE LIKABLE THAN ME???' ' CAN'T YOU SEE ME MORE THAN JUST YOUR BEST FRIEND???' 'WHY IS IT SO HARD LOVING YOU?!?!' *sobbing* 'WHY IS IT SO HARD?!'
"I'm the one next to you but why can't I have you?"
Joshua broke down crying, he has so many questions that he wants to tell jeonghan but he couldn't because, like, how can he make things more worse than this?.
"Maybe there really is a saying like, Even if you love them that much you still can't have them"
Later on joshua vomited so many flowers full of blood....
...He looked at the flowers and said "I didn't know that the other name for love was pain..." *chuckles*
'Turns out the love I wanted to give you is hurting me more every each day'
'Should I really give up now?'....
*chuckles*
'I think this should be enough...'
'I think I can't hold on to you anymore'
'Even if I still want to feel this love for you...I just really can't bare with the pain anymore'
'If loving you means that I have to give up for you to be happy....then, I'll gladly give you up and stop this feelings for you'
Joshua stayed there and thought about his memories and the time when he felt love, and loved by his best friend, because surely, after having the surgery, he will forget about that feeling and also the feelings he had kept for jeonghan this past few years
"I really hoped that I got your answer that day..."
"I hope you get to be with the person you like...and be happier with him"
Joshua was about to leave when a notebook fell from his pocket...he opened it and saw a song that he had written for his one and only love, jeonghan'Let me say so long
Pushing back those short times
Though it'll still hurt
Like a dream that disappears after a night
I'm afraid I'll forget you
If I just think about you
My heart gets anxious, what do I do?
Goodbye, goodbye now
I just can't say those words
My heart is filled with you
The only thing I could do
Is to love you
I hope I can see you again
This might be fate that was decided a long time ago
The moment I started to only know you
When I hold you, I get scared
I keep getting greedy, I can't help it
Goodbye, goodbye now
I just can't say those words
My heart is filled with you
The only thing I could do
Is to love you
I hope I can see you again
If I open that tightly shut door
Will I be able to see you again?
Our encounter was short
But you made me blossom like destiny
I'll dream of you every night
But as much as this longing fills me
There's only one wish I have
Please stay by my side'
.....
"Thanks for being my one and only treasure, my angel, and my precious best friend, Jeonghan..."
~The next day~Joshua is standing outside the hospital right now. His feelings and thoughts about jeonghan this past few years will all be gone as soon as I enter this hospital, but he still feel happy to be one of the persons who is also close to jeonghan back then, even though he had wished to be more closer and to have a more deeper relationship with him,
'Look after yourself, alright, jeonghan...'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hyung! Hyung!! Hyung!!!" DK, Mingyu, and Hoshi shouted outside jeonghan's room and because seungcheol is with some of his bandmates right now, jeonghan is left alone inside their dorm
"What?" jeonghan said is a soft tone but he was surprised to see the three sobbing and crying
"What Happened???" jeonghan asked again
"Hyung, please stop joshua hyung, please..." DK pleaded
Jeonghan felt really bad about this. He felt like something isn't right
"Why? Did something happen?"
"Let's go right now, we'll explain later!!" Mingyu shouted
Jeonghan still felt confused about what was going on right now but he just obeyed and followed the three boys to wherever they're going
*********************************
They arrived at the front of the hospital and that made jeonghan more nervous about this
"N-no...We-we were too late..." Hoshi's voice is really shaking and jeonghan noticed that so he looked to where hoshi was looking and saw joshua going out of the hospital
"Hyu-Hyung!!!" DK shouted enough so joshua can hear it
"Oh hey" joshua said and let out a soft and gentle smile but with no feelings at all
Jeonghan is shocked too, he felt like something is missing in joshua
"H-hyung...what's with y-your tone?" Mingyu asked
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"No....hyung! Do you like J-jeonghan hyung????" Hoshi asked
"Jeonghan? *looks at jeonghan* His just a close friend of mine, why would you think that?"
Jeonghan was taken a back at what he heard 'huh? did h-he just say th-that I'm just a close friend?'
"Anyways, I'm going to get some tea at the cafe near the park, anyone wanna join?"
"N-no thanks hyung...w-we're fine" hoshi said
"Alright, if you say so"
The four of them was taken a back about joshua being like that, they all felt that there is something missing, especially jeonghan since they were bestfriends for years.
'W-What happened?' 'Didn't he j-just confessed to me last week?' 'H-how did his feelings change that fast?'
T.B.C~ T^T ~T^T ~
The lyrics that I used was the English version of the song "So Long" by Paul Kim, it was one of the sound tracks in Hotel Del Luna
Without further ado,What do you think will happen next?
<3 <3 <3
YOU ARE READING
"Sacrifice" II JIHAN II
Fanfiction'I promise I'll come back for you because your my true love, and they say that true love has a habit of coming back...so wait for me' Hi!!! Hello!!! Hola!!! Annyeonghaseyo!!! Bonjour!!! Konnichiwa!!! This is my first time writing a story about Jiha...