I Know Your Scared Of The Unknown

Chapter 29

I was at a loss of words for what I was looking at on his phone. I had even shut my eyes and shook my head not once but twice to see if I was seeing things. There is no way that this could be my husband, the person who was just at my house with me, the person who set up an amazing looking night in an effort to recreate our time together spent in Italy, the person who swore daily that he loves me so much.

I looked up at Chris who was looking back at me with sad eyes, I was desperately hoping that he would tell me that what was going on was a joke but nothing on his face was confirming this fact for me. When nothing was said from him, I decided to send the photo to myself before handing him his phone back. "Thanks Chris, I'm uh. I'm just going to go to my room. Have a good night" I said with a sad smile as I pushed myself up off of the stool at the island and headed down the hallway towards Austin and I's room.

I quietly shut the door behind me, making sure that it was locked this time, as I walked into the closet and grabbed a pair of black joggers, white crop top and a pair of black Calvin Klein panties as I headed towards his large in-suite bathroom. It had never failed that whenever anything bothered me, a hot shower would always do the trick to clear the fog in my brain, helping me to decipher between rational and irrational actions before I decided what my next move was going to be.

I turned the hot water on completely, smiling at how the steam immediately started to fill the bathroom as I stepped underneath the hot stream, hissing slightly as the hot water bit at my skin. After a few seconds of my body becoming adjusted to the harsh temperature, or else just loosing all feelings in my nerves at this point, I started to piece together everything that I had just saw.

As much as I hated to admit it, it was made very clear that he was not ready for a commitment like this at this point in his life. Maybe he was ready behind closed doors when it was just him and I and he had no distractions of his friends or team around him. But, when he was distracted by his real life, it was evident that I was just some girl that he happened to know on a slightly deeper level then the girls he has been with in the past because of the intimate time that we spent together.

I took in a deep shaky breath as I rinsed the cucumber scented shampoo out of my hair, feeling tears start to well up in my eyes unsure if they were from sadness, anger or a little bit of both. I kept thinking about the differences between Austin with me alone and Austin without me as I squeezed a generous amount of cucumber melon body wash on my white loofa as I quickly and softly brushed it over my red almost pink looking skin.

I let out a long breath as I stood in the shower just a few minutes longer allowing the hot water to run over me as I finally knew what it was that I was going to do to handle this situation. I shut off the water, reaching my hand out of the fogged glass door grabbing the fluffy white towel I hung on the hook as I brought it inside drying myself off before wrapping it tightly around my body and stepping out into the humid steam filled bathroom.

Realizing that the temperature of the room was making drying off seem like a useless task, the humidity dampening my skin again, I grabbed my clothing off of the counter and walked back into the large closet in Austin's room. Checking and double checking over my shoulder to make sure that the door was indeed locked and that I was far enough in a corner where no one would be able to see me if they were standing outside, I quickly dropped my towel and started getting dressed.

I grabbed my towel using it to tousle my hair dry, going back into the bathroom as I put some mousse in my hair before walking back out to the bedroom and collapsing on the bed. I pulled up the picture that I sent to myself from Chris's phone, this time when looking at it my body being flooded with so much anger. Chris didn't need to answer the question for me tonight as he was eating Austin's dinner, the reason why I wasn't invited to the party was so I wouldn't get in the way of his double life. The life where he was a player, telling girls exactly what they wanted to hear, calling them baby, loving that they were loving him for Posty knowing that he could get any girl he wanted.