I Know Your Scared Of The Unknown

Chapter 21

We got into the black BMW waiting for us as we made our way to the airport. I watched out the window as the city passed us by in a blending blur of colors, taking with it all of the emotions that this place brought to us over the past week. I won't lie, I didn't want to leave. We somehow created a small bubble that was impenetrable to anyone and we were protected. We were free to love, feel and act how we wanted and to be quite honest, going back to the real world scared the ever loving shit out of me. I wasn't sure what to expect from it, I wasn't sure how to act and I sure as hell didn't know what it would be like to live with a celebrity. The past week I have lived with Austin and even though I said it to him countless times a day, there was no denying that even though I married Austin the kind, caring, loving, sweet, funny and laid back guy; I was also going to have to accept the fact that I was married to a celebrity. And he was the one that worried me the most.

I didn't know that side of Austin, I've only heard about him and I've only heard his music but I didn't know what it was like to be with him twenty four hours a day seven days a week. I've read a few things about him, heard how he has an undying love for diamond jewelry, drinking beer, and partying with his friends. That was so far beyond everything I knew I don't know how I was going to handle it. Not to mention I was going to have to learn how to act on tour and from what I saw other people saying, he wasn't very kind to his girls on tour often shadowing them in some secluded corner where they would have to sit in just close enough proximity to him but not close enough to ruin this image that his team worked so hard to create for him.

"Penny for your thoughts" he said to me quietly, his head resting against mine his left arm draped around me comfortably as he slowly ran his fingertips up and down the covered skin of my arm.

I was quiet for a minute deciding how I wanted to break all of these clashing thoughts that were in my head to him. I didn't want to give him any sense that I was having doubts about us, because I know that Austin and I could make it through anything. But, I also didn't want to hide the anxiety I was feeling about going back to his life. It was always something that I had dreamed of. Going to celebrity parties, showing up to walk the red carpet at an awards show, partying backstage with different levels of celebrity acquaintances before a show. I never actually thought that I would be living it, well living it second hand.

"What if I told you that, you know.. your other half scares the shit out of me" I said with a nervous laugh, my thumb slowly moving over the heavily tattooed top of his hand, my eyes focused intently on my actions before I cut them up to meet his icy blue stare.

"First.. my other half?" he laughed as he tried to make the conversation fall into our more comfortable and casual banter, rather than the seriousness that I was trying to make it have. "I wasn't aware that I had another half, if you see him can you tell him I want to meet him?" he chuckled, his eyes flashing brightly as they danced with mine.

"Oh stop, you know what I mean dork" I laughed, slightly pushing into him with my right shoulder, my eyes boring into his trying to tell him that I was being serious.

"You mean your nervous to live Posty's life?" he asked raising his eyebrows at me in a concerned yet caring fashion.

I gave him a small nod before I averted my eyes from his looking back down at him gently caressing my thigh through the tight fitting jeans I decided to put on this morning, the thought of looking good for him when I got off the plane the first thing that flooded my mind.

"What are you nervous about Soph?" he asked me quietly placing a kiss on my temple softly, his actions instantly softening my anxious disposition.

I let out a long sigh as I prepared myself to spill everything that increasingly gathered in my now crammed mind, hoping that everything I was saying to him was going to make sense the way that it did in my head. Part of me was hoping that he would hear it all and laugh it off and tell me that I was being overly nervous for nothing, but the other half of me told me that he was going to agree with me and sweetly tell me how I can cope with it all to make it better. I would much rather the first over the last option, but I rolled the dice hoping it would land in my favor.