I Know Your Scared Of The Unknown

Chapter 43

"Austin" she cried as she shook her head falling back into my chest, my mind starting to scream at me as my heart started to beat rapidly in my chest. Was she trying to tell me that she didn't trust me enough for us to work through this horrible mess together? Was she just so confused she didn't know what to tell me? Was I about to call it quits with the girl that I loved so much? I held her for a moment, my mind racing faster than the speed of light as all of these thoughts sped circles around my brain before I couldn't take it and I had to ask her.

"Sophie" I said in the same soft voice she had just said my name in moments before, sliding my arms up her back as I slid them around front to her shoulders, gently pushing her away from me as she hung her head low, tears falling from the apples of her cheeks as she continued to cry in front of me. "Please angel you need to talk to me" I said to her with a slight hint of desperation in my tone.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" she said as she got up and slightly stumbled away from me, my head dropping low as I brought my hands behind my head lacing my fingers together a small string of profanities leaving my lips. She didn't really answer my question directly and I was hoping her recent reaction wasn't her walking away from me, but I gave her a few minutes to gather herself.

I lifted my head to make sure that she was okay as I saw her sitting on top of a rock on the opposite side of my driveway. I got up and started walking over towards her, instantly feeling more comfortable that I was standing close to her incase I needed to help her, as I started pacing back and forth. I wanted nothing more than to go in the guesthouse and have a few more words with Chris. My anger towards him stronger than any other emotion in my body right now for what he had caused between Sophie and I when suddenly a thought made me stop in my tracks.

Maybe Chris wasn't the problem, maybe I was the problem and I was too stubborn to see it, afterall I was the one who had given him the fuel that he needed for his fire. If I hadn't done what I did at Mike's that night it wouldn't have been so easy for Chris to swoop in with just the right words to try to steal my wife from me. He wasn't the one that caused this problem, it was me. I was the one who had my wife in tears, confused daily about what to believe and who to believe and instead of doing my best to fix it I put it on her to ask her if she trusted me enough.

How could I expect her to just flip a switch to trust me when I should be the one proving to her that she could trust me, proving to her that she shouldn't believe anything that anyone was saying to her. I needed to show her that Chris's words were just that...words nothing more and nothing less.

I walked over to her, wrapping my arms around her from behind as she sat on the mid height rock, her shoulders still shaking slightly as she cried, the pain that was coursing through her veins seeming to seep into my body as if I was collecting it like a sponge as I held her close the only thing I felt was appropriate to do.

"Sophie baby girl please listen to me" I said, her hands coming up to wipe at her saturated eyes as she took in a deep shaky breath. She didn't turn to look at me or make any inclination that she was even listening, but something inside of me told me that she was.

"It was unfair of me to ask you to put all of your trust in my hands without me giving you anything back in return angel. I know that it is going to be hard for you and I know how confused you are, I can see it in your eyes everytime I look at you and it kills me" I said leaning down as I placed a kiss in the crook of her neck, her body responding just slightly to the touch as I started to see hope on the horizon.

"Sophie, it doesn't matter if you trust me right now or not. The question I should've asked you was this" I said as she turned around in my arms, her red swollen eyes gazing up at me as I wished I could take all of her pain from her and rewind time and never do what I did in the first place.