I Know Your Scared Of The Unknown

Chapter 38

We drove the short twenty minutes back to our house in an awkward silence, the sudden shift in character seeming to weigh the air down around me as if it was closing in on me, threatening to strangle all sense of hope that was flowing through my veins. I looked over at her as she quietly sat looking out the window, the wind blowing through her long light brown locks and the sun radiating off of her face, a small shine of light reflecting off the metal frame of her glasses with each turn I made down the curvy road that led us out of the canyon and dropped us off at the road that ultimately led to our home.

I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that one little question had changed everything so much and so fast. Not only with her but with me as well. It took her to tell me that my confession about my friends being involved was bullshit for me to realize that she was right. I was trying so hard to take the blame off of myself that I was willing to blame anyone else for my fuck up, and a fuck up was just what it was. There was no ulterior motive behind it, there was no reasoning to it, I was just being a first class douche bag and was drunk and she was flirting with me so I figured why not.

If I had been honest with Sophie in the first place and told her that I was supposed to be at my friends party that night instead of lying and saying that I had to go to work maybe this never would've happened. Better yet, if I took her with me and introduced her to the new world that she was going to be living in for the next 10 weeks it definitely wouldn't have happened. Ultimately there was no one else to blame for what happened to Sophie but myself and now it was up to me to figure out how to put the pieces of her intricate puzzle back in their correct spots instead of trying to make them fit into places that they didn't belong.

I slowly pulled my Subaru through the gate to my house, giving Steve the daytime security guard on duty a friendly wave as I headed down the few feet of driveway that was shaded on both sides by several thick green trees. The house came into view a few moments later to revel a red BMW parked under the carport and a bored and lonely looking Lauren sitting on the stone steps waiting for Sophie. I quickly hit the garage door opener, the middle door slowly sliding up as I pulled the car into it's home killing the engine as I turned to look at Sophie.

"Angel?" I asked her, using a term of endearment with her that I haven't used since our wedding, as she slowly recognized my voice and looked over at me, her eyes shaded by the dark lenses of her Maui Jims but her face making up for the look I knew was hiding behind her shades.

"Yes baby" she said with a smile that I knew didn't meet her eyes as she reached out and grabbed both of my hands in hers, her thumbs running softly over my inked skin as she tilted her head slightly to the side.

I broke my right hand away from hers as I reached out to pull the dark black shades from her eyes, my own demeanor becoming sad and broken as I saw that she had been crying what would appear to be the entire ride home, fresh streaks of tears clinging to her cheeks. I reached out to wipe the wetness that clung heavily to her skin only for her to reach up and grab at my wrist giving me a shy smile. She quickly put a kiss on the calloused pad of my thumb before lacing her fingers with mine again as she patiently waited for me to say what I needed to say to her.

"Sophie, thank you for giving me back the Sophie that I married even if it was for just a few minutes" I said with a sad laugh, my eyes leaving hers only for a minute before I slowly drug them back to meet the sad gaze of the broken woman that I had created. "I know I did this Sophie and what you need to know right now are three things" I said to her, my eyebrows raising as I spoke to her in a calm yet serious voice.

"And what two things is that baby?" she said with a small chuckle.

"First I am never going to stop loving you, whether I have my Sophie with me or whether I have the Sophie I have created, I'm going to give you every ounce of my love" I said, bringing her right hand up to my lips as I pressed a soft kiss on her knuckles.