I Know Your Scared Of The Unknown

Chapter 8

Austin's POV

"Tell me what scares you the most" I said as we lay together comfortably after having the best sex I have had in months. I couldn't help but smile to myself at how comfortable I was laying naked with a girl that I just met. Normally I'd rush to get dressed and send them on their way.

"Rejection, being alone and not being enough" she said softly without even needing a minute to think it through. 

"Talk about it?" I asked. I felt like I really needed to know what made her tick and if that involved digging deep into her past then that's what I was going to do.

"You really want to know about it?" she asked skeptically.

"Of course I do, I want you to know that you can feel completely comfortable talking to me about anything" I said giving her a kiss on her forehead.

"I was in a relationship with a guy I thought was head over heels for me for about 4 years. Turns out he's really just an amazing fucking actor. I wasn't enough for him. No matter what I did, no matter what I gave up to be with him I was just not enough. He ended up cheating on me and when I came home from class one day everything he had was gone from my apartment. There was no good bye or anything. It was like I didn't even matter or exist."

She stopped momentarily taking in a shaky breath. I pulled her in closer to me and started rubbing circles on her bare back.

"After that I got in my head that I would never be good enough for anyone if I wasn't good enough for him. I dated other people, but I still felt empty inside. Nothing was ever serious, I was just the bare minimum for everyone until they found someone better. I truly let myself believe that I was always going to be the stepping stone on someone's way. I had to go talk to someone to change my mindset because I was ruining myself. It helped, but I still always feel alone no matter how many people are around me" she said as I felt a warm tear fall onto my chest.

"Hey, Sophie look at me" I said lifting her chin up with my index finger.

She looked up at me, her beautiful eyes red and glazed over with fresh tears waiting to spill out.

"I completely understand how you feel Soph. The loneliness is unbearable. I too always feel alone and empty. I can have a party at my house every weekend with all my friends but feel like I'm the only person in the room. And I also know the pain of not being enough. Austin is never enough, I can never truly be me because Posty is the only person who is enough for most people, but even then people always want more." I told her, finally feeling free as I opened up to someone about how I felt.

"Austin, you are more than enough for me" she told me sweetly.

"How can you be so sure?" I asked her running my hand through her soft curls.

"I can feel it, being with you feels different. I feel safe and comfortable and most importantly I don't feel alone" she said softly.

I leaned in and placed my lips softly on hers, feeling a connection I never experienced before. It was if she took the words I was thinking and said them out loud. I pulled away from her, taking her in. Her eyes were closed and her lips pulled into a small smile. She looked so beautiful.

"What's one of your favorite bands?" I asked changing the subject.

"Oh God where do I even start," she laughed sweetly. "Metallica, Sabbath, Megadeath, Rage, he isn't a band but Dylan"

"Dylan is who you listen to when you want a good cry" we both said together laughing.

"God your perfect, most girls would say that and not even be able to name their favorite song. They just wear the t-shirt or say they like them because they saw me wearing one of those band shirts at a concert and think if they wear one they might have a chance with me" I laughed staring into her gorgeous honey brown irises. I definitely wasn't getting that feeling from her.