I Know Your Scared Of The Unknown

Chapter 32

Austin's POV

It was already noon and I hadn't heard a thing from Sophie. I was hoping that after Lauren told her that I had called looking for her last night that waking up and calling me would be the first thing that she wanted to do, but after what she had saw last night I guess I couldn't blame her that I wasn't the first thing on her to do list that morning.

It had been a semi sleepless night for me last night filled with tossing and turning, my thoughts racing about how I was going to tell Sophie what happened. I had thrown around several different ideas from telling her that I was drunk and had no idea what I was doing right down to the ludicrous idea that I was just seeing how serious she was about us and that I was doing it to get a reaction from her, but despite how much I wanted to tell her a lie the guilt had already started to loom over me like a dark and menacing shadow.

Sophie was a smart girl, she wasn't like some of the other girls that I dated who would believe anything I told them because they were clouded with lust and false hope of what our future together would be like. She would be able to see right through my lies to her and I know that that would make our situation worse. Regretfully sometime between the hours of four and five in the morning I had made the decision that when Sophie came back I would sit her down and I would tell her the gut wrenching truth about everything last night.

"Austin? Post man are you here?" Adam asked as he started to wave his hand in front of my face in an attempt to grab my attention. I jerked my head quickly bringing myself back to reality as I brought my eyes to look up at him, a small smile being forcefully put on my face.

"Yeah man sorry, just thinking about a bunch of shit" I said with a laugh, my hand running through my hair as I felt not only Adam's eyes but every other pair of eyes in the room on me.

"Have you heard from Sophie?" he asked me sitting back in the couch, his arms laying across the top of it as he tilted his head at me. I shook my head no as I shifted my gaze to focus on a small piece of black cat fur clung to my pants as I picked it at in a desperate need to rid it from the fabric.

"I called her last night, but Lauren said that she was already passed out from drinking too much or something" I said, shaking my head back and forth as I brought my gaze back up to him. He leaned forward, his forearms resting on his knees as he gave me a questioning look.

"Didn't you say that she told you she had a problem with drinking and drugs in the past? I thought you said she gave it up" Adam stated, his look quizzical as he raised his eyebrows behind his black framed glasses.

I grabbed a cigarette from the pack, placing it between my lips as I sparked the lighter bringing it to the tip of the cigarette as I inhaled deeply to light it. I crossed my left leg over my right, my ankle resting on my knee as I draped my left arm over my leg, the cigarette burning it's way up towards the end as I stared aimlessly into space.

"Yeah, yeah she did say that. And Lauren said something to me that has me extremely nervous" I said, quickly bringing my cigarette to my lips as I took a quick drag, Adams voice echoing softly in my head as he prodded for more information about what Lauren had said to me. "She pretty much told me that she hopes that what I did last night doesn't put her into a downward spiral, and that she would never be able to look at me again if I put Sophie down that same path" I said, bringing my cigarette back to my lips quickly.

"Listen Post, if she goes back down that path again you can't completely blame yourself for that. Sure, maybe what she saw kind of gave it a push but if it was in her past then it was bound to come out of the closet again at some point" Adam said, his words making me laugh as I heard them.

How could he even sit there and tell me that if she started to have a problem with drinking again that it wasn't my fault. Sure, she indulged in a some wine on our trip and she had a drink with me when we came back, but from what she told me in Italy she used to enjoy straight liquor on the rocks, sometimes completing the entire bottle in a day. If seeing what she saw made her return to that life, I don't think I would be able to live with myself.