Blinded by Hate

Epilogue

Julia Melissa Lopez

"Hi, Sammie, it has been 6 years since I last used you. Thank you for all the memories. Thank you for listening to all my dramas. Thank you for being my only family when I had no one. You mean so much to me, Sammie." Huminga ako nang malalim saka pinunasan ang mga luha sa mata ko. After how many years, ngayon lang ako nagkalakas ng loob na gamitin ulit ang videocam na nagsilbing pamilya ko noong mag-isa ako. This videocam knows everything about me and it will always be special to me. "Today, after how many years, I will speak up for the first time."

"6 years ago, my videos were uploaded online. Everything you saw in that video is true. I didn't lie. I never manipulate, neither say anything that's not true. Sa totoo lang, hindi ko inasahan na may mag-a-upload ng video ko at sobrang daming manonood. Because the only reason why I filmed myself ay para lang may mapagsabihan ako ng problema ko. I still remember how hard it was for me to handle my emotions. I was only 16 years old at that time. Ang bigat-bigat sa puso na para bang sasabog na. When I started filming myself and sharing my heartbreaks with Sammie, medyo gumaan ang pakiramdam ko kaya tinuloy tuloy ko na. It was never my intention to create chaos."

"Tim, the person who uploaded my videos, is my friend now. And even though he uploaded it without my consent, I'm thankful for him because if it isn't for him, my family wouldn't find where I was. I know some people believed what I said and some didn't. But it doesn't matter to me anymore. Maniwala man kayo sa akin o hindi, hindi na mahalaga sa akin 'yon dahil masaya na ako. I'm 29 already and I'm living the best life I deserve."

"After everything that has happened, look where I am now. Akala ko dati, wala ng pag-asa na sumaya ako. Akala ko, habang buhay na akong mag-isa. Pero hindi. Ang dami kong natutunan sa buhay. God won't ever give us a battle we can't handle. I gave up several times. Hirap na hirap na ako sa buhay ko noon. Pakiramdam ko ay wala ng nangyayari na tama. I don’t know how many tears rolled down my cheeks. But every time I thought I was completely broken or lost, I’d find a new way, a new door that would completely get me out of the darkness. Ngayon ko lang naisip na kasama ko pala talaga palagi ang Diyos sa lahat ng laban ko sa buhay. He helped me everytime. Noong wala akong pag-asa kay Zach, pinadala niya si Tristan. And when Tristan left, bumalik sa akin si Zach. Tapos noong umalis siyang muli, he sent Joshua to help me cure the pain that Zach caused. Noong nag break kami ni Josh, pinahiram naman niya sa akin si Ryan, who helped me a lot. Ryan made me feel loved and I know he cared for me. No'ng nag break kami, nahirapan talaga ako kasi pinalayas din ako no'n sa bahay namin. Wala akong ka-pera pera at hindi ko rin alam kung saan ako pupunta but God helped me by sending an angel. My best friend, Stellum. I love him so much and I'm so thankful for how many times he has saved me. Parati rin siyang nandiyan para sa akin, even upto now. Seth always got my back too. He's one of the kindest and genuine people I've ever met. And Zach, like I always said, will always be my first and greatest love."

"Lahat sila, kahit sa kaunting oras lang, they became important to me. They all taught me so many lessons in life that I'll carry on forever. I've forgiven them already at masaya ako na okay na kaming lahat ngayon. They apologized to me and I accepted it wholeheartedly. Ganoon din ang ina ni Zach, si Elora, Lope, Kellan, Princess Nathalie at lahat ng may kinalaman sa nangyari sa akin noon. Inurong ko na ang kaso namin sa kanila. I already forgive them. Sobrang hirap magpatawad but I’ve come to realize that forgiveness is not for anyone else but myself. I want to be free and just let go of bitterness and anger. I want to heal and move on from my past. At the end of the day, kahit gaano man kasakit ang nagawa sa'yo ng kapwa mo, matuto tayong magpatawad dahil sobrang nakakagaan ng pakiramdam."

"The main reason why I did this video is for those who's struggling, cried, felt alone, hurt, sad and depressed. I want to hug all of you. I may not know anything about your pain, but I was once in your shoes. And I’m here to tell you that Jesus knows your pain. And He sees right through you. Sometimes God breaks our heart to save our soul. Please remember that no matter what you’re going through right now, Jesus loves you so much and He has so many beautiful plans for you. Please allow Him to work on you first. I know it hurts so much, but it won’t hurt forever, and all wounds heal. Trust Him because He's preparing you for the next part of your life."