Remedy | 𝘌𝘳𝘦𝘔𝘪𝘬𝘢

32. Buried Feelings

"Thanks for tonight." I said and smiled.

"No problem. Thank you too. I should go, it's already late. Take care and goodnight." He smiled back at me. I was about to close the door when he left, but instead, I watched him walk away until he's out of my sight. The night he made me experience again made my whole being happy for a thousand times. And I can't wait to experience more with him. When there is no trace of him already, I closed the door and leaned against it, letting out a happy sigh. My phone suddenly vibrated. It's our group chat. The wedding GC, in which Eren, Armin, and Ymir are also included.

Annie So Mikasa, how is your date, oh, I mean 'errands'?

I frowned. I will be very much happy if she decided to keep her mouth shut, tho. She could have sent it to me instead, privately at our GC where it's only the three of us---Historia, Annie, and me!

Historia You went on a date? Omg girl, with whom?

Annie No she just did ERrENds.

Annie Sorry, usual typo that was supposed to be errands. My bad. And wow, why are there capitalized letters there? Like really, my bad.

I rolled my eyes and removed my shoes before sitting on the sofa. Annie being her usual self. She looks so cold and like she doesn't give a single shit about anyone, but she is actually talkative and soft. She is the real definition of 'don't judge a book by its cover'. Another notification came and it was Historia on our group chat. Our GC where it's only the three of us.

Historia So you went on a date with your ex and only Annie knows? I feel betrayed : (

Mikasa It was an accident, Annie came here at the same time as Eren.

Annie And that is the proof that she is bad at hiding things. Better luck next time, Mikasa. Btw, I won't move my wedding for the both of you but we can do a double wedding. Isn't that cute?

What? What is she talking about? Why is she saying that?

Mikasa Chill, we're still not back together. We just hang out with each other. And you are already planning my wedding? Slow down.

Annie But that is how you two are gonna end up. Married. And minus two points for using such a lame excuse such as doing errands. You could've told me 'doing eren' instead. I won't mind.

Historia Oh my gosh Annie shut up!

I face-palmed, asking myself if I am still in the right group of friends. I took a deep breath and placed my phone on the coffee table. I stood up and went to the bathroom to do my usual routine. Quick shower. Toothbrush. Skincare. I went to my bedroom and dressed into my favorite sleepwear. My white crisscross backless silk dress and the white silk robe that comes with it.

"How can I actually feel so beautiful and feel ugly at the same time? I am so confused." I said as I look at myself in the mirror. I lied down on my bed but I don't feel sleepy. There are a lot of things going on in my mind right now. I opened the light again and sat up. Maybe I should drink wine. Yeah, that will work. I stood up and instantly ran to my kitchen to get a glass of wine and also a wine glass. I put it on my coffee table and I sat on the floor. I grabbed my phone and opened it. The notifications are flooding it! I opened the group chat wherein it's only the three of us and read all the past messages.

Annie Mikasa, where are you?

It was the latest message. So I replied.

Mikasa I am drinking wine rn, can't sleep.

Annie I thought you were gonna use the power of your sleeping pills again.

Historia You still can't sleep properly? Should I go there?

Mikasa What? It's not like you're gonna cuddle me and sing me to sleep.

Historia Girl, you shouldn't have said that because I might drive to your house and do that to you.

Annie Yeah, we will do that.

Mikasa Fuck it. No.

I rolled my eyes and closed my phone. It was not a good idea that I opened it. I took a deep breath and poured wine on my glass then took a sip. Maybe I just need some alone time? Or maybe I really need my sleeping pills. I stood up and went to my bedroom and then opened the drawer. I picked up my sleeping pills and looked at it. I won't make any progress if I will continue using this as my only surrender if ever I encounter situations like this.

I put it back to where it's placed and went back to the living room to drink wine. I can handle this. Here I am, not used to being alone. I was so used to being with my friends. I was so used to having them by my side. And this is why I don't want to learn to depend on someone because if someday, they will leave me, I won't be able to function again. I will have to pick up my broken pieces again one by one.

Thirty minutes later, I heard a knock on my door. I stood up and opened it. It was Annie and Historia, they are wearing their sleepwear and they are holding pillows and plushies. Tears stared to fill my eyes so I gulped.

"You two look weird. Who would walk around a lobby wearing those? And why are you two here?" I asked them and they hugged me. What? I am just too happy that maybe I can't sleep. Yeah, that is the reason.

"Hey I don't know the reason why you can't sleep but we want to be with you until you sleep and until you wake up. Well, Historia picked me up." Annie answered and the both of them walked inside my unit. I locked the door and sat beside them. Annie stood up and placed a sleeping mat on the floor and put the pillows on it.

Historia ran to the kitchen and got two more wine glass then placed it on the coffee table.

"Were you too happy about your date that you can't sleep?" Historia asked and poured wine on the two empty glass. She took one and drank from it then placed it back on the table. "You can open up to us." She said and smiled softly.

"Well, yeah. I promise to keep my mouth shut." Annie smiled. I trust them.

"Is it weird that in ten years your feelings for that certain person was gone and then when you saw that person again, it just comes back easily?" I asked them. They looked at each other and then looked back at me.

"Feelings that come back are feelings that were never gone, just buried. It was so buried deep inside you that you forgot it but it was never really gone, it was just waiting for you to dig it up again, to be triggered." Historia said and hugged me tight.

"Remember when we told you that your ex-boyfriends all have similarities to him? Because it was always him. It was never those two law school students, not Brian, not Marky, not even Lian. You were trying to find his qualities on other men because it was him who is really in your heart." Annie smiled and rested her head on my shoulder.

"We love you. So much." They both said and hugged me tighter.

"I love you two. So much." I smiled. I closed my eyes and tears fell. I love these two so much to the moon and back. Very much. To the bottom of my hypothalamus.

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