The Other One(STOPPED WRITING)

Chapter 59: I cant be...

Loki's POV...
I watched as Sarah left the room, as if nothing was wrong. I suppose, it's true, considering I'd told her everything was fine.
I never did or would tell anyone about these dreams I get. Nightmares, really. I suppose it's easier to let them go, than to talk about them.
I mean, what good would it do? It would be as though I was reliving it all.

I look over to the clock, and it was now 7:00. I did say I would sleep again, but I wouldn't. I didn't need to, anyways. I'd gotten enough sleep for one night, I suppose.

Why did I wonder where Sarah was? It shouldn't matter to me, should it? She needs time alone, as do I.
But where can I go? I didn't exactly want to stay in here all day. Plus, I need this heart thing checked out...so, I get up to leave.
Slowly, I open the door. Some people must still be sleeping. They all hated me, already. It would only add to that hate if I just woke them all.
I didn't exactly know my way around here, so I wandered through the halls.
Nobody seemed to be awake, yet.
But, I try to think, who would be able to help me with this heart problem?
Surely, if it was fatal, nobody would inform me of it.

I continue to wander throughout the halls, looking for the only person who can, and would, help me with this heart problem. Bruce.
And, finally, I found the room he was in. He was awake, too.
Hesitantly, I knock on the door.
He looks startled at my presence, but comes over to open the door.
"It's 7am.. what is it?" He asks.
"I believe there's something wrong with my heart." I explain, letting myself inside the room.
"Oh, okay. Well, what's happening to your heart?" He asks, closing the door behind him.
"It's being strange."
"Yeah..yeah, I got that. But.. what's happening to it?"
"It's constantly beating very fast."
"Is it right now?"
"No."
Bruce grabs this strange looking tablet, much like the one he used to get results when Sarah was in a coma.
"Okay, do you want me to run some tests?" He offers.
"Yes." I answer, immediately.
"Alright, then, stand still."
"What? Why?"
"J.A.R.V.I.S, run a couple of tests." Bruce asks.
And then, suddenly, this weird technology is near me, and in front of me.
"What is this?" I ask, continuing to stand still.
"It's running a few scans and tests, so we could figure out what's wrong with you."
I stand still as possible, as the technology continues to be right in front of me.
But soon, the technology went away.
Bruce looks down at the tablet, and smirks. Why?
"Well?" I ask.
"Based off of these results... you have chemicals in your brain that are responsible for a wide range of emotions. These chemicals that are responsible for it, are dopamine and norepinephrine."
I stare at him, not understanding a word he said.
"Pardon?"
"Based off of these results.." he begins to repeat, but I stop him.
"I heard what you had to say, but whatever does it mean?"
Was it something terrible?
Maybe it was terrible.
It had to be.
Bruce clears his throat, "A much simpler term...." he begins, but waits to give the answer.
He grins a bit, "Is...you're in love."
I raise an eyebrow, not knowing how to respond.
Love?
That could not be possible. Simple as that.
I could not have fallen in love with somebody. I wasn't worthy of any love. I shouldn't love anyone. I don't deserve it.
"That can't be right." I claim.
"It is." Bruce says.
"It can't be right."
"That's what it says right here." He says, showing me the tablet thing.
And it said it right there, too.
The scan had to be wrong. It had to be.
I could not have fallen in love with somebody. I promised myself that would never happen. I don't deserve it.. I don't deserve it.
"So.. who?" Bruce asks.
I can't be in love.
"I'm not in love." I say, leaving the room.
I rush through the halls, looking for anywhere to go. Could I go to the roof? Would I be allowed?
It doesn't matter if I'm allowed, I'm going there anyways.

I, eventually, make it to the roof.
The wind, however, immediately blew onto my face. The cold didn't bother me, though. Why would it?

The sun had finally risen, and the sky was clear. I could easily see all of the people on the ground.

Could I actually be in love?
I couldn't.
He had to be wrong. I couldn't love somebody. They wouldn't love me back, anyways. I'm hurting myself, if I am. Plus, I don't even deserve it. Love, that is. They would deserve better. How could I deserve it? After all that I've done? I'm still very well the monster that parents tell their children about at night. Even worse, by now.

I sit myself down, far away from the edge of the tower. How could I let this happen?
I couldn't let it happen.
But what if I already was, in love?
I can't.
I just can't.
Because there'd only be one person I could have fallen in love with.
And that could not happen.
Out of all the things she's been through, I couldn't let another terrible thing happen to her.
Me.
I ruin everything, don't I?
I could have really had a friend, and I think I do.
And then I ruin it with.. with love?
She could never love me, anyways.
I have never, and will never, be loved.

And suddenly, as I'm thinking, the door to the roof opens.
Quickly, my head spins around, to see who it is.
And there goes my heart again.
No, I don't deserve the feeling of loving someone. I can't.
"Oh, hi. I didn't expect to see you up here.." Sarah says, walking over to me.
And as she sat down next to me, my heart was practically about to beat out of my chest.
What was wrong with me? I can't love her, I can't.
"So, you didn't go back to sleep, huh?" She asks.
And now I was forgetting how to speak.
Why?
No, I can't. I have to act normal, and be normal. I cannot love her.
"No." I answer.
"Yeah, me either. I was going to, but I couldn't," She says, "So, I'm still tired."
She looks out into the distance, at the clouds. Her hair blew perfectly in the wind.
Stop.
Stop being perfect.
"Do you think I'll ever be fixed?" She asks, suddenly.
Fixed?
"What?" I ask.
"Fixed. Like, these words out of my head. Do you think they'll ever be gone?" She asks, looking at me.
Why did my heart have to be so strange.
"I believe so." I answer.
She grins, and her eyes just shine from the sunlight.
"I hope so." She says.
Why do I love her?
I can't love her.
She stays silent, for a while.
And suddenly, she leans her head against my shoulder. What? No, stop.
This isn't helping.
Maybe she's reading my head. Maybe she's making fun of me. Joking.
"The view is beautiful, isn't it?"
"Yes, it is." I answer, trying to get my heart to stop beating so fast.
"Is that why you came up here?"
"Yes." I lie.
"That's nice." She says, continuing to look out into the distance, as her head is on my shoulder.
Maybe Bruce was right.
But I really didn't want him to be.