The Other One(STOPPED WRITING)

Chapter 61: And there's the sock monkey..

Right now, it was around 2 in the afternoon. I had no idea what to do, but to overthink everything that I've been trying to stop thinking about.
It sucked.
I was also waiting for someone to barge in here and tell me if Sam was okay or not. Yes, he's healthy, but I wanted to know if he'd actually need his leg or paw amputated.
But, until then, all I could do is stare out a window more than 100 feet up in the air. Or, at least, it seemed more than 100 feet. I don't really know.

It was raining outside, now. I think some would say the rain was awful, but it seems so peaceful to me. I also, for some reason, loved watching the raindrops roll down the window. It felt nostalgic, or like I've felt this feeling of watching the raindrops roll down the window before.
I don't know.
"Are you alright?" I hear Loki say.
I continue my stare at the raindrops, as they roll down the window, "Of course, why?"
"Well, you've been staring at the window for the past hour." He explains.
"Yeah, I guess I'm just thinking." I say, as I watch two raindrops race to reach the bottom of the window, or at least out of sight.
"About what, if I may ask?"
I chuckle a bit, "Everything."
"And what is your definition of everything?"
I narrow my eyes, and chuckle. I finally take my stare off of the window, and turn to face Loki.
"I mean, everything means... everything?"
"Yes, but you can't be thinking about everything."
"Why is that?"
"Well, are you thinking about, I don't know, fire?" He smirks.
"Why the hell would I be thinking of fire?" I laugh.
"If you were thinking about everything, truly, fire would be one of the things you're thinking about."
"..Why?"
"Fire is a part of everything you could possibly think about!" He says, as if it was common sense.
And, I guess it was, actually.
"Okay, then I'm not thinking about everything."
"Then what could be bothering you?" He asks, throwing a small eraser, up and down, as he lays on my bed.
"I thought it'd be obvious. This whole father situation, my nightmares, and now this weird thing happening with my heart."
Loki stops throwing the eraser, and just holds it up in his hand. He narrows his eyebrows, "What heart thing?"
"No, I'm sure it's nothing. It just beats fast sometimes, for no reason."
"When does it happen?" He asks, concerned.
Right now, actually.
But I wasn't going to tell him that.
I wasn't going to tell him it was strange when I was around him.
I was definitely not going to tell him that Steve thinks I'm in love.
"You know, here and there, I guess."
"Mhm, strange. Have you gotten it checked?"
"Nope, and I don't need to."
"Why not?"
"It's not so terrible."
Loki opens his mouth, about to say something, but just then, the door bursts open.
Okay, this was weird. Why is everyone standing at my door?
"What the hell?" I ask, clearly confused.
Everybody had a panicked look on their face, for some reason. I didn't know why, either.
"What's happening?" I ask.
And that's when I do a head count.
I check to see if, really, everybody was there.
Tony, Nat, Clint, Thor, Bruce, Steve, Peter, Loki, and..
And where's Bucky..?
"Barnes has been kidnapped." Natasha explains.
What?
"By who?!" I ask.
"Well, we don't know. The only thing left in his room was this." Steve says, taking something from out of his pocket.
Oh my God.
They have him.
Hydra.
They have him.
I stare at what Steve was holding, and just.. stop listening to whatever they were saying.
Of course they notice, though.
Steve holds up the object, "You know what this is?"
"Yeah.. yeah. That's mine." I answer.
There he held, Willie. Willie the sock monkey.
Great.
This was just great.
And all my fault, too.
"This is yours?" Tony chuckles, "That's a sock monkey, if you haven't realized."
"I know what it is." I say, standing up. I walk over to where Steve stands, and take it from his hands.
"So.. you know where Bucky is?" Steve asks, desperate.
"Yeah.. well, no."
"Well, which one is it? Yes or no?" Thor asks. It was clear he was either upset with this, or upset with the fact Loki is hanging around with me.
"Hydra has Bucky.. I just don't know where." I answer.
"And what's the sock monkey got to do with this?" Clint asks, confused as hell.
"It's a long story. I just... I think this is a warning." I say, waving the sock monkey in my hand.
"How so?"
"Like I said, this is mine. From... from a long time ago. I had it in a cabin, then it was gone. And now, it appears when Bucky's kidnapped."
"Hold on, you were in a cabin? With Loki?!" Thor asks. I could see Loki roll his eyes.
"Not now." Natasha mutters, elbowing him in the side.
"Alright, wherever he is, we have to find him. Do you have any ideas?" Bruce asks.
"Well, I mean, he could be held where I was, last I remember. Or, he could be somewhere else."
"We have to take our chances." Steve says, suddenly.
"You just wanna barge in there?" Tony asks Steve, sarcastically.
"Yes, they have Bucky." He says back to Tony.
"Well, I don't know if you remember this.. but this is Hydra. If she walks in there, they could use her against us." Tony says, pointing toward me.
I mean, he had a point.
"So what do you suggest we do?"
"We come up with a plan first, maybe!"
The room goes silent.
"Yeah.. that's a better idea." Steve admits, quietly.
"Alright, then. Come with us." Natasha says, motioning for me to follow her.
I begin to follow her, Loki sitting up to follow me.
But for some reason, Thor stops him.
"What are you doing?" Loki asks his brother.
"You're not helping." Thor explains.
"And why not?"
"You may have never hurt her, but that doesn't mean you aren't going to. You'll stay here while we fix this."
"No, I'm coming with you." Loki says, standing up for himself.
"Loki, we don't have time for this. You realize how hard it is to trust you, after all you've done?"
Loki looks at his brother, shocked and speechless.
"I will not sit back here."
"And why not? Are you so desperate to keep her safe? Listen, brother, we will keep her safer than you ever can."
Loki's expression shows confusion, anger, sadness, and guilt.
I wanted to say something.
"I am coming with you." Loki says, standing up straight.
"It is true, you love her? Why else would you act heroic now?"
Now, his face flushed red.
"I just want to help." He manages to say.
"Of course, brother. Of course you do." He says, walking away from him.
Now I'd never experience it in person, except now, but wow. Nobody, not even his own brother, trusted or believed him.
If only they could see his memories like I can.
How badly they actually treat him.
And how much it actually effects him.
But the part where Thor mentioned love... that caught my attention.
Surely, he didn't love me. We just.. understood each other, and became friends.
Nothing more...
Yet my heart fluttered, and I felt myself blush as he mentioned it.
Why?
Who knows..
I don't know why..
"Come, if you must." Thor shouts back at his brother.
Loki, quickly, follows me and everyone else.

And as soon as we get into a more open space, we start planning.
"How do we plan on getting Barnes back?" Tony asks.
"We could go undercover, perhaps? Sneak into where, we think, Bucky is being held, at night." Steve suggests.
"That could work, but how would we get inside?" Natasha asks.
"We'll need a distraction." Clint says.
And just then, a smirk comes upon Thor's lips.
And by Loki's facial expression, I can tell he already knows it's a bad idea.
"We could do 'get help' as a distraction." Thor explains.
"Absolutely not." Loki tells him.
"You wanted to help? This is how." Thor says.
"What is 'get help'?" Tony asks.
"Well, you see, I pretend Loki is dying, and needs help. So, I scream, "Get help, my brother is dying," so it will get the guards attention, and just as they come closer, I throw him at them." Thor explains, happily.
Everyone just stares at him, silently. Confused and a bit concerned.
"And if they shoot at him?" I ask.
"Well... well I- I didn't think about that." Thor mutters.
"Of course you didn't." Loki mutters, quietly.
And as I chuckle a bit, at his response, he can't help but chuckle a bit either.
"Well, what other ideas do we have?" Bruce asks.
Everybody stays silent, unsure.
And just then, Loki's eyes widen, as if he has an idea.
"Loki? You have an idea?" Thor asks.
"I believe so.. but I must warn you, it is dangerous."
"What is it?"
"Well.. it's Sarah they want, right?" He asks, confirming it as everybody nods.
"What if..what if I pretended to be her? She could be invisible, by my side, not actually turning herself in."
"Not to be harsh or anything, but you don't exactly look like a girl." Clint says.
"I could, though." He says, as if it were simple.
"It is true, he can turn into anyone." Thor confirms.
"That's just weird." Clint mutters.
"But, it could work." Steve says.
"Bruce. Peter. You'll keep a look out, outside." Tony says.
They both nod, knowing their role.
"Clint, you'll be on another roof, watching down at the entrance. You'll be told when you could get inside."
"Steve, Natasha, and Thor. You'll enter from the rooftop, or a side entrance. Whichever way is easier. You have to take down any guards in your way, without making a scene."
"I'll burst through the walls, like the bad ass that I am, and find Barnes."
"And you, Adams. You'll be by Loki's side the entire time, invisible. Don't let him be controlled. And don't bump into anybody." He explains.
I nod, but I don't know if I'm ready for this.
Sure, I've gone on intense missions before. But that was as a winter soldier. Now.. I'm just me. Before, I had nobody to lose. Now, I did.
"Hey, Adams. It'll be alright. We'll get him back." Steve says, trying to keep me positive.
But I wasn't only worried about getting him back. What if Loki couldn't fight back to Hydra?
Oh my God, what if they try to memory wipe him?
What will happen when they try to use those words on him?
Did they already do that to Bucky?
I didn't even want to think about it, it made me sick to my stomach.
"We'll go at 10:30pm. Adams, be ready to tell us where to find this building." Tony says, and all I could do is nod.
But on the inside I was horrified.
I'd have to face them again.
I'd be walking into that building, willingly.

Soon, everybody left the room, to get prepared.
But all I could do is stay put, leaning against the glass window.
"You're afraid?" Loki asks. I didn't even realize he was in the room, still.
"Yeah.. yeah I am." I answer, truthfully.
"And you have every right to be." He says, walking over to stand beside me.
He was a lot taller than me, so when I turned to face him, I had to look up to him instead. I mean, he want that much taller than me.
"I just.. I just don't want to face them again." I tell him.
"I understand, it must be terrible to even think about it."
"Yeah.."
"But sometimes, I believe, what we fear doing most, is usually what we need to do most." He explains.
"So I need to face Hydra again?"
"I don't know, is that was you fear doing most?"
I think about it for a few moments.
Was it?
Yeah, it was the only thing I could think of.
"Yeah, I think so." I answer.
"So you must face them. Not only for yourself, but for your friend." He says, referring to Bucky.
"I know. I know. I just wish I didn't have to be afraid." I say, looking up at him.
"Everybody's afraid of something. It's okay to be afraid." He says, looking down at me.
And he smiles, to let me know it'll be alright.
And I hope it will be.
It has to be.