The Other One(STOPPED WRITING)

Chapter 60: we've got a cat..

After trying to get everything off my mind, by beating up a punching bag, it didn't help.
It'd only made everything worse, really.
I was thinking worse than before. The talk with Steve didn't help. I mean, come on, I couldn't be in love. I mean, I guess I don't remember the feeling of love, but he had to be wrong.

I make my way toward the roof, now. Maybe this would help instead.
I open the door to the roof and, to my surprise, Loki was up here.
He held his legs close to his chest, looking into the distance.
Why was my heart doing that thing again.
Literally, stop.
As soon as he hears the door open, his head turns around.
"Oh, hi. I didn't expect to see you up here." I say, coming to sit next to him.
He watches as I sit down next to him. It looked like he was thinking a lot. And by a lot, I mean a lot. Probably about that dream he had.
"So, you didn't go back to sleep, huh?" I ask, the answer obvious.
He didn't exactly need to answer, but I thought he would. But he was taking a few moments to actually answer.
"No." He finally answers.
"Yeah, me either. I was going to, but I couldn't," I tell him, "So, I'm still tired."
And that was true, I was exhausted.
I mean, I didn't get much sleep after that dream last night. And after finding out it was Loki who saved me all those years ago.
I still couldn't believe the odds.
I mean, what were the odds?
What were the odds, that the only person that brings me comfort now, saved me from death?
And, it was weird. I guess I didn't know it yet back then, obviously, but in a way I did. Because as soon as I saw his eyes, it made me feel some sort of comfort and peace.
His eyes were pretty beautiful.
That's a weird thing to just say, isn't it?
It's true, though.
But then again, I hadn't remembered them for the longest time. How could I? I mean, Hydra found me soon after. They wiped me and used those goddamn words on me again.
I forgot what that peace I felt looked like.
"Do you think I'll ever be fixed?" I ask, suddenly, almost without realizing.
I don't really know if I was asking Loki, or myself.
"What?" He asks me.
"Fixed. Like, these words out of my head. Do you think they'll ever be gone?" I ask, turning to look him in the eyes. Those peaceful eyes.
Through his eyes, I could see all of the pain he went through, without even reading his mind.
Yet somehow, it brought peace and comfort. Not the pain part, obviously. But the beauty in his eyes.
I'm being so poetic, aren't I?
I actually don't know. I've never read poetry, that I remember.
"I believe so." He answers.
I grin, at his response, "I hope so."
It don't know why his answer, out of anyone's, made me feel the happiest. I mean, it was just his opinion.
But why did it matter so much?

I, unknowingly, lean my head against his shoulder.
He looked like he needed comfort, too. After all, why else would he be up here?
This was the place I came when I needed thinking, too.
"The view is beautiful, isn't it?" I ask him, trying to distract him from whatever he was thinking about.
"Yes, it is." He answers.
I almost forgot how fast my heart was beating, again. I guess it's just an unsolvable problem. Probably nothing to worry about. I've been through worse than some heart condition. I think.
"Is that why you came up here?" I ask, already knowing the answer he'd give.
Based off what I've seen, he didn't like expressing his feelings.
Like.
Ever.
"Yes." He answers.
I could hear it in his tone, he wasn't being honest about it. But I'd let it go. If he didn't want to talk about it, he didn't have to.
"That's nice." I tell him, looking out into the distance.

He stayed silent, as did I. Just staring at the sky.
He, very hesitantly, wrapped an arm around my shoulder. I guess we both needed comfort.
I didn't know what I needed comfort from.
Sure, there were those problems I had, that I talked about with Steve. But those were problems that needed to be fixed. Those were problems that, sometimes, couldn't be fixed with comfort.
Except the nightmares. I needed comfort after those, as much as I hated to admit it.
But now, I don't know what I needed comfort from. I guess, everything.
And I guessed Loki needed comfort after having that nightmare. He never said he'd had a nightmare, but it was a bit obvious he did.