The Other One(STOPPED WRITING)

Chapter 69: Sorry...

"Shut the hell up, she's waking up." I hear, as my eyes flutter open, and closed.
What the hell happened?
I can't remember anything that happened after I visited my father.
I fully open my eyes, staring face to face with all of the avengers. I don't even know how I got in this room to begin with, or why they were all staring at me with great concern. I had an extremely terrible headache, too.
Oh, wait. I'm detained. Why am I detained? Why am I detained to a metal bar?
"What's going on?" I ask.
Bucky looks at me, and then to the ground. He looked off. Like, sad.
Everybody just stayed silent, avoiding eye contact with me.
"What happened?" I repeat, incase they didn't hear what I asked the first time.
Tony looks over to Bucky, as if he should explain what's happening.
"It might be better to show you." Bucky mutters.
What is he talking about?
Tony pulls out a tablet, and walks over to me.
He presses play on... a surveillance camera?
It shows multiple hallways. One of the hallways is the same hall where my father is being kept. The next, the hallways that leads to my room.
And there I was. Beating the shit out of Natasha and Thor.
Oh my God. I couldn't have.
And then, I walk into my room. What would I do in my room?
Loki.
Oh my God, what did I do to Loki?
I didn't realize it, but I was crying. I can't believe I let him get in my head. How could I be so stupid to go in there by myself?
I don't even remember it happening.
"Did I k-.." I begin, but get cut off.
"Nobody is dead." Natasha says.
I sigh, with a bit of relief. But not much, really. I still hurt people. Including Loki, probably.
I mean, what else would I be doing in that room?
It was as if he was a target, and Natasha and Thor were just in the way of getting to him.

What if they didn't let me out of the handcuffs? What if they didn't trust me anymore?
"Can you let me go?" I ask, genuinely.
"Yes." Steve says, looking at Tony. Tony really looked like he wanted to say no, but Steve just gives him a glare, and comes over to let me go.

I sit up, worried. What if they didn't like me anymore? I mean, sure, it wasn't really me. But I still did it.
"I'm gonna go." I mutter, beginning to walk away. I didn't want to face them. Not now, at least. I hurt them.
"Wait." Clint says, as I turn to face him, "You should know.. your father escaped."
And I should know that because I probably let him free, didn't I?
This just made matters worse. First, I hurt people, then, I find out that my father is out roaming the streets of New York City.
Great.

I walk away, heading back to my own room. As I walked closer, though, I had a bad feeling in my gut. Not the same bad feeling I got when my father appeared in that room, but different bad feeling. What would I see when I walked in there?
The door was closed, probably because Loki was inside. God, what did I do to him? I didn't want to find out, but I also did.
I open the door, slowly. My eyes were filled with tears, already. And as soon as I saw that red mark on his neck, I knew what I did to him. I could have killed him, if I choked him hard enough. To make matters worse, it was probably my metal arm. That shit hurt. I could've broken his neck.
He could've died in my hands.
I peek my head through the doorway, waiting to see him turn to me in fear. He would, right? He couldn't ever look at me the same way after what probably happened.
But he just looked at me, not in any other way, but the same as he usually did.
He tried to sit up, and he did.
I didn't want to walk in, knowing what I probably did.
But I do anyways. I walk right over to him, flop down next to him, and just cry my eyes out into his shoulder.
He didn't look at me differently. At all.
Actually, he hugged me as I cried into his shoulder. He didn't even hesitate to touch me.
"I'm sorry." I cry, silently.
"You remember?" He asks.
"No, but it's a bit obvious." I mutter.
He hugs me tighter, as I cry harder. He didn't give a care in the world that I hurt him. Why?
"You don't hate me?" I ask.
"Well, I could never really hate you" He whispers.
"Why?"
How could he never hate me? I almost killed him.
I almost murdered him.
I'm so confused.
"You're not a hate-able person." He grins.
How could I not be a hate-able person? This was just confusing, but I was glad. I was glad he didn't think of me any differently. I was glad he still wanted to be around me. Because if he didn't, I don't know what I'd do.
"So you forgive me? Just like that? For nearly killing you?" I ask.
"You never had to apologize in the first place." He smiles.
How.
Why did I not have to apologize for nearly killing him? I guess he knew it wasn't really me, better than I did apparently.
I can't help but blame myself for it.

As I continue to hug Loki, I can't help but notice he's turning back to 'normal'.
I don't think he realizes it yet, though. His skin tone slowly changed back to a tan color.
"Look at your hand." I tell him, and I could tell he's confused.
"What do you mean?" He asks.
"Just look."
He lifted his hand, and looked at it. As he did, he smiled. He liked being tan, rather than blue.
He chuckled a bit, from joy.

5 minutes later, and we're just sitting there in silence.
I wondered why I hurt Loki, in the first place. Clearly, I was ordered to. But why him? Why did I go directly to him? The questions were eating at me.
Maybe he knew? Maybe I said something, that I clearly don't remember.
But what if it was an answer I didn't want to hear?
"Loki?" I ask.
"Hm?"
"Why did I try to kill you? Did I say something about why?" I ask.
Sometimes I spoke, when I wasn't in control.
I remember, in a dream, a person asked me a deep question. And I almost snapped out of it, but instead, I answered them. And then I killed them. It was horrible to remember.
Maybe I would remember hurting Loki, in a dream.
He opens his mouth, about to speak. But he's hesitant. Instead, he shakes his head, no.
But I think he's lying.
He's doing that thing with his hands again. The thing he does when he's nervous, or in this case, probably lying.
"What aren't you telling me?" I ask.
It was clear that he knew something, and didn't want to tell me. But why didn't he want me to hear it?
"I have nothing to hide." Loki assures.
"Loki, if I said something to you, I want to know what it is."
He just shakes his head, "You didn't say anything."
He wasn't going to tell me. Why wasn't he going to tell me? What could I have said, that made him not want to tell me? What was he so afraid of telling me?
"Alright, then." I mutter.
...

I walk down the halls, looking for Tony. He had the surveillance camera, and I wanted to see the footage again.
I knock on his door, and he rolls his eyes. How welcoming of him.
Usually, I'd get a "fuck off."
Upgrades, people. Upgrades.
I open the door, and walk right over to him.
"The security footage, is there sound to it?" I ask.
Tony doesn't take his eyes off of whatever he's working on, and answers quickly, "Unfortunately not. Why do you ask?"
"No reason." I mutter.
"There's always a reason. Come on, kid. What is it?"
He asks, as he stares intently at the thing he was fixing.
"It doesn't matter. I just wanted to know if I said anything." I lie.
I wanted to know if I said anything, yes. But I wanted to know if I said anything important to Loki.
I couldn't have said nothing, right?
He looked suspicious as hell.
"Alright. Pass me that screw driver, will ya?" He asks, before I can leave.
"I don't know what a screw driver is." I say, heading back toward the door.
"Of course you don't." He sighs, as I leave.
I walk down the hallways, again. This time, heading toward the roof. Maybe, just maybe, if I was alone. And maybe, if I just cleared my head, and tried only to think of what I did, I'd remember.
I wanted to remember what happened today.

I make it to the roof, but I'm not the only one who's up there.
There's Steve.
As soon as the door opens, he turns his head around.
He smiles a bit, then turns back to face the sky.
I walk over to him, "Mind if I join ya?"
"Go right ahead." He responds.
"So," I begin, "What brings you up here?"
He chuckles, "Does there have to be a reason?"
"There's always a reason people are up here. They need space."
"And what would I need space from?"
"Anything. The world is frustrating." I say, looking up at the clouds in the sky. It was pretty sunny today, but also cold.
"That it is... but why are you up here?"
"I'm trying to remember what happened today." I say, honestly.
"What is there to remember? You saw the cameras, right?"
"Yeah, but..."
"Yeah, but what?" He chuckles.
"There's no camera in my room."
"And you want to know what happened in there?"
I nod. I really wanted to know what actually happened.
"Well, I could assure you, Loki's fine. He didn't even care, from what I saw. A bit strange, but true."
"Yeah, why didn't he care? I almost killed him, and he's telling me I don't even have to apologize."
Steve smirks, and I already know what he's going to say.
"No, it can't be that." I immediately say.
Steve shrugs, and continues to smirk, "You know, maybe he loves you, too."
"And what makes you think I really love him? What do you know?" I question.
"Well, when you weren't in control, you were mumbling as you were running down the hallways." Steve mention.
And he didn't think to tell me?
"What was I saying?" I ask, desperate to know.
Steve just shrugs, "Oh, nothing. Nothing, really..." he jokes.
"Tell me, right now." I demand.
"Fine, fine. You were muttering what you had to do."
"And what was it?"
Steve smirks, "Hurt the ones you love most."