5sos interracial preferences & Imagines

You Self Harm

Beware: Trigger warning.Can bring up certain feelings and emotions. It' can be upsetting.

Ahston-"Crap." You said looking in the mirror. You were examining a very thin spot in your Afro. You didn't know how this could've happen. You took great care of your hair so it wasn't adding up. You then just pushed it to the back of your mind. You fixed your hair back and placed one of your beanies on. "You ready?" Ashton asked as he got up heading for the door. "Yep." "Why do you have a beanie on? It's kinda hot outside." He asked, probably thinking nothing of it. "I-I just love beanie's I guess." You said a little embarrassed about what was under it. "Oh, well do you babe." He said as you smiled and you both left.

A couple of days later

 You were sitting down trying to complete your paper that you were writing for your proffessor. Your hand immediately shot to your head. You started playing around with it, twirling it, strecthing it, and then, *yank* You pulled it out. You did it over and over again, strand after strand. You weren't really aware that you were doing it, but it was a habit. When you feel the urge, you just...you can't controll it. When you were finished, you noticed the hair that was now detached from your scalp on your desk. You sighed.  You shruck your paper and opened up google. 'Why Do I always pull my hair out?' You typed in. Numerous things came up, but almost everyone stated: "Trichotillomania?"  You looked it up and scrolled through the symptoms to find out that you had almost everyone except for maybe 2 or 3. "Thricotillomania. A method of self harm-" "(Y/N)?" You heard behind you as you slammed your laptop shut. "Uh, hey Ash." You said not making eye contact with him. "You alright?" He asked as you turned around to face him. "Yeah. Everything is honky dory." You said as you faked a smile. 

You then remembered that you didn't have anything on your head to hide you balding spot. "Coming right back."  You said as you dashed to your hat drawer and puled out an bandana. You tied it around your hair as you walked back inside your little study area. "(Y/N)?" "What?" You replied as he turned your laptop screen towards you as he it revealed the site you were reading. "It's just-just for a research thing I'm doing." You said trying to play it off. I read the symptoms.... You do it. Don't you?" he asked as you felt your throat thicken and your easy become hazy as the shame washed over you. "No." You managed to say as you began blinking fast trying not to cry. Ashton then got up and walked over to you. "Come here." He said bringing your frame into his arms as he hugged you.  You refused to cry. At least you tried to. Tears reluctantly feel down your cheek as you just stood there . So ashamed, you didn't even want to hug him back. "You don't have to feel depressed about it (Y/N). I love you regardless okay." You didn't say anything, but you loosened up, which made him know you understood him. "It said it can be treated, okay. Don't worry okay. We'll get through this."  "....okay...."

Luke- "I don't see why she's with Luke. He's tall, skinny and handsome, while she's just fat and ugly." You read for what you thought was the fiftieth time, from the fiftieth  person. Ugly, you sure as hell are not. And you knew that. You're beautiful. But, the fat part...you just couldn't get it out of your mind. You stood in front of your body mirror. You sucked in your stomach trying to make it flatter, but you didn't feel as if it did much. You looked down at your thighs.... You couldn't put your mind to it as to why you were 'fat'. You exercised regularly, you danced but you still couldn't help but think you were fat. "(Y/N), your turn to pick where we're going to eat."  "Uh...I'm not that hungry right now so you can pick." You said turning around to face him. "You sure?" "Yeah Luke." "Well I'm feeling ribs right now." He said as you guys walked out the bedroom.

A couple of days later

Today you were all dressed up in a beautiful black silk dress as you and Luke  were going out for dinner today. You sat there talking with Luke as you saw your food coming. You ordered your favorite meal. You watched as the waitress placed it down. You gave thanks before you and Luke both dug in. Mid-way through your meal you started to feel as if someone was watching you. You looked slightly over your shoulder, swearing you can see the people close by staring and laughing at you. You immediately put your fork down. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom really quick." You said getting up You walked to the bathroom, feeling like every eye was watching you. Looking at your size. You then watched faster until you reached the bathroom. You opened the door and made your way to a stall. You went inside and locked it. You placed too fingers in your throat.  At that moment all you could think of is all those tweets, comments, and the teasing you faced as a child, and you pushed them back. You vomited into the toilet. You then stood up, flushed the toilet and walked to the sink. You washed your mouth out and ate some tic tacs and made your way back to Luke.