Can't I See You One Last Time?

Chapter 2: Why They Smile

Nezuko walked down the mountain into the village. The snow had started melting seeing as the cold winter had finally come to an end. She went down to buy some food for the next few days.

"Thank you."
Nezuko was talking with the lady who sells vegetables.
"I haven't seen Tanjiro come down the mountain lately, is everything alright"
The lady spoke with concern. She had not meant any harm to Nezuko seeing as the villagers were not told about Tanjiro's death.
"Actually..."
A look of grief covered the smile Nezuko once had.
"Tanjiro's..."

Months had past but it still hurt for Nezuko to talk about her dead brother to the people. The lady saw the look on Nezuko's face and her face turned the same. Nezuko tried to finish her sentence,
"My brother is-"
"You can tell me when you're ready."
The lady cut her off. Of course, just by looking at the expression on Nezuko's face gave her the answer she needed.

The lady felt bad for the child, but in a world like this one, it was best to try to overcome your grief yourself and rely on others when needed.
"If you ever need someone to talk to, there are plenty of people here"
The lady smiled at Nezuko causing a sad smile to form on Nezuko's face,
"Thank you, I'll remember that."

Nezuko went to the stands she needed to go to and the owners asked the same thing. Her face went dark every time. Some people understood what that meant, but others were dense that they ended up getting hit with something or yelled at. Those incidents made Nezuko laugh and others made her worried.

Nezuko was walking back up the mountain when she saw it. In front of the house she shared with Inosuke and Zenitsu, where the bodies of her family laid, there he was. His dulled blue hair, the dark bags under his eyes, his now weak body.

Tomioka Giyuu was laying next to the grave on the far right, which belonged to Tanjiro, sleeping. Nezuko looked down at the retired Water Hashira and saw the dark bags under his eyes. Giyuu had gotten thinner than the last time she had seen him and his hair was a mess. She thought of waking him up, but she felt that if she did, Giyuu wouldn't fall asleep again. Nezuko slid the door to her house open, quietly, and walked in.

Minutes later, Zenitsu walked outside to see the same sight as Nezuko. Zenitsu sat against the stack of chopped wood and watched the sleeping Giyuu.

The sun had started going down when Giyuu woke up. He sat up and looked at the grave next to him. Giyuu stared at it until he heard the voice of a young man,
"Nezuko wanted you to have dinner with us."
Giyuu turned his head and saw Zenitsu sitting in the same spot he was hours ago. Giyuu noticed something. Unlike before, the haori the blond haired man wore was no longer bright yellow and covered in triangles. He was wearing plain brown clothes that didn't quite match with his bright hair. Giyuu continued to stare at Zenitsu and pointing out the differences in his head.
"Are you coming or not?"
Zenitsu's words pulled Giyuu out of is own mind,
"Coming where?"
Giyuu had tilted his head slightly when he answer. Zenitsu sighed,
"Dinner."
He pointed at the house,
"You're invited."
Giyuu looked at the house and wondered when he had last eaten a meal. He pondered wither or not he should take them up on the offer. Giyuu thought that there would be no harm in accepting the invitation. Besides, it's been a while since he actually talked to someone.
"Okay."
Zenitsu nodded his head and stood up. He stretched out the soreness in his body then opened the door to the house.

"Dinner's on the table."
Nezuko had made a little more food than she had in the few months. People around the house started gathering around the dinning table. Usually, it had just been three people sitting at the dinning table but today, there were four, just like before.
"It's the half and half haori guy!"
Inosuke pointed at Giyuu with a surprised face. Giyuu didn't feel like correcting him, so he just nodded.
"Inosuke, his name is Tomioka Giyuu and he's our guest, so treat him with respect."
Nezuko had scolded Inosuke. Something that Tanjiro would've done if he were there. It seems like that thought crossed through Inosuke's mind because he apologized.

Zenitsu praised Nezuko for her cooking, Nezuko shoved him off with a 'Thank you' and a smile, Inosuke was, still, eating with his hands. Everything seemed normal. It seemed as if they had never lost someone important.
How could they do it?
That question crossed Giyuu's mind multiple times. How can they smile even though they lost something important? Nezuko ignored Zenitsu's recent comment about how he could taste the love in the food and looked towards Giyuu.
"How's the food?"
"How..."
Giyuu whispered with his head down.
"What was that?"
Nezuko had asked with a smile on her face. Zenitsu and Inosuke stopped eating and turned their heads to look at Giyuu.
"How can you..."
Giyuu lifted his head,
"How can you smile like nothing happened?"
Silence fell upon the room and the, so called, normal smiles had faded from their faces.

Zenitsu's chopsticks fell out of his hands, breaking the long silence, as his face darkened,
"HOW CO-"
Nezuko raised a hand in front of Zenitsu stopping him from yelling. Zenitsu bowed his head,
"Sorry..."
He stood up and walked out of the house. Without a word, Inosuke got up too and followed Zenitsu outside. Giyuu now understood that the smiles they showed were, just that. The smiles were just for show, an act.
"I understand..."
Nezuko paused to get her thoughts together. She wanted to say something that would have a positive effect on him, or at least get him on the right path. Nezuko needed to choose her words carefully,
"You've lost people dear to you, we all have. We will always grieve over them. We will always miss them."
Nezuko's face had went dark,
"You asked how we can smile?"
She lifted her head to show a serious face. A face showing that she was saying will, no had, to be heard.
"We can smile because we know they would want us to like a fulfilling life because they couldn't. Because they wouldn't want us to drown in our own darkness. Because they would want us to move on."
Nezuko paused to wonder if the words she chose were the right ones.
No, I've already said it so I should finish,
Nezuko thought.
"We smile so we can die with no regrets."
They smile so they can die without regret...?
How does that work? How can someone smile thinking about their own death?

While in the Demon Corps, people smile knowing they are going to die, so maybe it's something like that. Though, Giyuu never really cared if he died. He's seen many people who did, but he never understood why they cared. Giyuu stood from the table,
"Thank you for the food."

Giyuu began walking out of the door when Nezuko stopped him,
"How about you stay the night?"
"That's not necessary."
"You should at least spend some time here seeing as you didn't spend as much time with my brother as we did."
Giyuu stopped. Would spending some time near Tanjiro's belongings really help him or would it bring more pain to his heart?
"I wouldn't want to intrude."
Nezuko was persistent,
"I know my brother would want you to live a happy life too, so I will do everything I can to help you."
Being alone doesn't help with grieving, so Nezuko wanted Giyuu to at least know that he could talk to her about it.

Giyuu wanted to be close to Tanjiro, but would that really heal him? There wasn't any other option he had left so why shouldn't he try. Nothing bad would come out of trying something new.
"I'll stay then."

Tanjiro's sent covered the whole room. It was painful for Giyuu. The whole room reminded him of Tanjiro, and that was where he was supposed to sleep.